The world of a woman.

[VladimirIlyich]

4 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Conversation with Mrs TheBitch this morning went like this…

 

Mrs TheBitch: We deliver forensics to Gothenburg. 

TheBitch: Oh yeah. Do you know where it is?

MTB: Yes. Sweden. 

TB: Did you know where it was before your new job?

MTB: Did I buggery. I thought it was where Batman lived. 

 

*dies*

 

[AdamD]

Went to visit the lad at the weekend who is at uni in Glasgow. Decided to have a trip out to Balloch on the banks of Loch Lomond…

The Mrs; Will we see the Loch Ness monster at Loch Lomond?

 

An intelligent woman with a very responsible job !

[VladimirIlyich]

On 04/04/2022 at 21:05, AdamD said:

Went to visit the lad at the weekend who is at uni in Glasgow. Decided to have a trip out to Balloch on the banks of Loch Lomond…

The Mrs; Will we see the Loch Ness monster at Loch Lomond?

 

An intelligent woman with a very responsible job !

I like you naming your Penis after a local tourist attraction. 

[AdamD]

2 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I like you naming your Penis after a local tourist attraction. 

Very sharp 

[Section_31]

What's the constant obsession with getting women into engineering and computing? Are they genuinely barred from those careers in some way or do they, erm, just not want to do them? 

[Bjornebye]

15 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

What's the constant obsession with getting women into engineering and computing? Are they genuinely barred from those careers in some way or do they, erm, just not want to do them? 

"I was born in Tammy Girl, but I was made in Jaguar Halewood" 

 

Who gives a fuck to be fair. Good on them and anyone doing what the fuck they like be it blowing hair or fitting jarg meters. There's a Sky dish fitter round here, bloody lovely she is. 

[Captain Turdseye]

There was loads of birds in the plant I worked to next door to Jag. Going back ten years here. No engineering though, just production line jobs on OK money. 

[manwiththestick]

31 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

"I was born in Tammy Girl, but I was made in Jaguar Halewood" 

 

Who gives a fuck to be fair. Good on them and anyone doing what the fuck they like be it blowing hair or fitting jarg meters. There's a Sky dish fitter round here, bloody lovely she is. 

Do they still fit Sky dishes on the side of your house, I thought they were long gone?

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Do they still fit Sky dishes on the side of your house, I thought they were long gone?

They still did two years ago. I got one fitted around then (not by her) Not seen her in a while. I think my whistling "when this old world starts getting me down...." as I walked past her up a ladder fitting my neighbours might have scared her off. She laughed though. Basically cheating. 

[Harry Squatter]

Mate in work was saying his Mrs moans that whenever he wants to do something he just does it and he sorts it within minutes. He took a chance and booked a flight to Brussels for £60 should we get to the final in Paris then get the train to Gare Du Nord. 

 

Her complaint is that he doesn't mess around when it's something he wants to do. He then argued with her saying that whenever he involves her in any decision making she takes fucking ages and slows everything down. They went to Budapest last year and she took 12 days to choose a hotel because she went on millions of Facebook travel pages and read TripAdvisor on every hotel, saying no if there was one bad review. They ended up booking a shit hotel for about 300 quid more than the one he suggested to begin with. 

 

Her nights out take weeks of planning and constant dithering, cancelling, rebooking tables for restaurants and Geneva conventions over WhatsApp. She asked him to give her a lift to Lark Lane and he said fine, just let me know what time you want to leave but it took her 4 days to decide what time she wanted to meet her mates. 

 

Think he'll end up murdering her at some point. 

[Furmedge]

Washing machine was on its last legs last night, confirmed it was goosed this morning.  She's out shopping and I'm working from home so called her to say its definitely knackered and need a new on but will wait until she gets home before buying it to be delivered over the weekend.  Gob on her because she thinks I'm asking her to research and pick one because I expect her to do all the washing.  "No", I replied, "I just know if I pick it and it's shite I won't hear the end of it for fucking months, but if you pick it and it's shite I won't hear a peep out of you about it ever."

 

Should be a fun bank holiday weekend sat in silence.

[littletedwest]

That's another thing they do that annoys me. The silent treatment

[sir roger]

1 minute ago, littletedwest said:

That's another thing they do that annoys me. The silent treatment

That's my favourite bit,

[YorkshireRed]

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

[Creator Supreme]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

No barmcakes mate?

[YorkshireRed]

20 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

No barmcakes mate?

No idea what they are. 

[Bruce Spanner]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

 

Nope, not today.

 

Nonsense.

 

Negged.

[manwiththestick]

Blown her mind last night when I told her I'm out with the lads tonight.

 

When did you arrange this?

 

Last night (Wednesday) in less than five WhatsApp messages.

 

Where are you going?

 

Don't know? 

 

Who with?

 

Not 100% but definitely Lee and Glen, couple of others yet to confirm.

 

What time?

 

Not sure I just told them I will be in the local pub at 7:30 and we'll go from there.

 

She can't understand how it's that easy.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 minute ago, manwiththestick said:

Blown her mind last night when I told her I'm out with the lads tonight.

 

When did you arrange this?

 

Last night (Wednesday) in less than five WhatsApp messages.

 

Where are you going?

 

Don't know? 

 

Who with?

 

Not 100% but definitely Lee and Glen, couple of others yet to confirm.

 

What time?

 

Not sure I just told them I will be in the local pub at 7:30 and we'll go from there.

 

She can't understand how it's that easy.

You going The Croft? Is it still there? Down the Addy maybe?

[Mook]

1 minute ago, manwiththestick said:

Blown her mind last night when I told her I'm out with the lads tonight.

 

When did you arrange this?

 

Last night (Wednesday) in less than five WhatsApp messages.

 

Where are you going?

 

Don't know? 

 

Who with?

 

Not 100% but definitely Lee and Glen, couple of others yet to confirm.

 

What time?

 

Not sure I just told them I will be in the local pub at 7:30 and we'll go from there.

 

She can't understand how it's that easy.

Other way around would've been 6,592 messages over three months and it would end up being cancelled at tea time tonight.

[Karl_b]

7 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

Breadcake rep.

[Atticus Finch]

42 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

Breadcake rep.

+ 1….it’s a Yorkshire thing

[Remmie]

Breadcake is the most dribblechin name of all the stupid names for a bread roll. I call it a roll or if I am feeling really festive and wild a bread roll, what with its bread roll like features and nature. 

 

Some fucking Wiganer will be along in a minute spouting it should be called a batter rock or a dough egg or some shit. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

20 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Breadcake is the most dribblechin name of all the stupid names for a bread roll. I call it a roll or if I am feeling really festive and wild a bread roll, what with its bread roll like features and nature. 

 

Some fucking Wiganer will be along in a minute spouting it should be called a batter rock or a dough egg or some shit. 

Hahahaha, dough egg. I might try and trick my gf into calling them that (she's Lithuanian).

[Remmie]

6 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Blown her mind last night when I told her I'm out with the lads tonight.

 

When did you arrange this?

 

Last night (Wednesday) in less than five WhatsApp messages.

 

Where are you going?

 

Don't know? 

 

Who with?

 

Not 100% but definitely Lee and Glen, couple of others yet to confirm.

 

What time?

 

Not sure I just told them I will be in the local pub at 7:30 and we'll go from there.

 

She can't understand how it's that easy.

The jokes on you, Glen is a fucking whopper and I have it on good authority that hes been trying to shag your missus for months!