FAO people of Nunavut

[Hazel Motes]

We've sent one of our Swedish ambassadors to your regions. Please take good care of him. Thank you.

Nevermind that other bloke.

Arctic rescue for Australian man after landing on ice | News.com.au Top stories | News.com.au

[Nunavut Patrick]

Read about this, crashed just outside of Iqaluit, plane sank and they were rescued from an ice floe.

 

We'll send you the bill.

 

Apparently they were flying a plane back to Sweden they had bought. Probably tried to assemble it using IKEA intructions and ended up with spare bits at the end.

 

In all seriousness, it gets a bit tiring rescuing these adventurers, campers, canoeists etc.

 

Last summer we had three search and rescue/medevac for tourists. One was attacked by a Barrenland Grizzly, probably didn't secure food properly. Another fell in the Kazan River and got hypothermia and an older man had a stroke.

 

The best is when we get these Alex Supertamp-types up here geared out in North Face or MEC worth thousands, go out camping on the tundra or paddling down the Thelon or Kazan and are back within days after being eaten alive by the mozzies.

[aws]

Is it a grizzly bear where you're supposed to play dead if attacked and he might leave you alone? Or is it the black bear?

 

And from how many miles away can a grizzly smell a menstruating woman?

 

Someone from work is going camping in the wilds and I want to make sure she's fully clued up.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Is it a grizzly bear where you're supposed to play dead if attacked and he might leave you alone? Or is it the black bear?

 

And from how many miles away can a grizzly smell a menstruating woman?

 

Someone from work is going camping in the wilds and I want to make sure she's fully clued up.

 

Never swim in shark infested waters with a menstruating woman.

 

Grizzlies, like most bears, of course, prefer live flesh. Seals, salmon, etc. Black bears (and brown ones) are more likely to be scavengers and berry eaters. Polar and Grizzly are the ones to watch out for. If confronted by a bear never turn your back on it. If you don't have bear spray or a bear banger, then make yourself as big as possible and yell at it. Never shoot a bear right off, always fire a warning shot. Unless it's a trouble bear it will skidaddle away. Trouble bears (usually males, usually 3-4 years of age) or very hungry bears will not recede and have to be shot. A polar bear will snort very aggressively and get into an aggressive crouch before attacking. The old saying if it snorts, you shoots applies. Once in the grip of a polar bear you're very likely done. Males weigh up to 850lbs. Some bears are just curious and will get up on their hind legs. This causes some people to shoot them. They are not about to charge (ie- ever see a bear charge on two legs).

 

If you're a woman, you could nag the thing into submission. (ie- Did you clean up your bear scat? How come you never clean up after raiding the honey pot? Going down to the bear den pub again? Who's looking after the cubs? I'm tired of you bringing home trout instead of salmon.)

 

Your lady friend should avoid all perfumes and deodorant.

[aws]

More top wildlife tips from Bear Ullyot.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Actually the thread should be titles 'Nunavummuit' which, in Inuktitut, means the people of Nunavut.

 

Did you know that a wolverine can take down a bear?

 

Solitary, territorial and the most viscious animal, pound for pound, on the tundra.

[aws]

Actually the thread should be titles 'Nunavummuit' which, in Inuktitut, means the people of Nunavut.

 

Did you know that a wolverine can take down a bear?

 

Solitary, territorial and the most viscious animal, pound for pound, on the tundra.

 

He should get a pass into the Animal War final. At last a worthy oponent for cantorii.

[Nunavut Patrick]

He should get a pass into the Animal War final. At last a worthy oponent for cantorii.

 

 

The wolverine is like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven.