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Redder Lurtz

Beige bands and artistes

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I'm not talking about bands you don't like for whatever reason, just those who offer absolutely nothing. I mean, bands that baffle the fuck out of you why anyone likes them.

 

For context, the absolute arsewater that Liam Gallagher puts out these days is laughably bad. Hilariously poor lyrics, musically predictable and massively overhyped but I do actually get why some people might like it. 

 

There are others out there who I just cannot get my head around. Weak in every sense. Musically, lyrically, stylistically, everything. 

 

I'm tempted to start with Razorlight who pass most of those tests with flying colours but I'm actually going to go with Foals.

 

Fuck me. When God created beige he subtitled it "Foals". Meaningless, bland fucking arsedribble. Every single song sounds like the last one. What the flying fuck purpose does repetitive pretend indie-disco serve? And their interviews; "Well it's about growing up, you know, and going out and that."

 

Fuck off you dull, dull, horrendous affliction. You're an insult to creativity and a stain on music. 

 

Know what I mean? 

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1 hour ago, Redder Lurtz said:

I'm not talking about bands you don't like for whatever reason, just those who offer absolutely nothing. I mean, bands that baffle the fuck out of you why anyone likes them.

 

For context, the absolute arsewater that Liam Gallagher puts out these days is laughably bad. Hilariously poor lyrics, musically predictable and massively overhyped but I do actually get why some people might like it. 

 

There are others out there who I just cannot get my head around. Weak in every sense. Musically, lyrically, stylistically, everything. 

 

I'm tempted to start with Razorlight who pass most of those tests with flying colours but I'm actually going to go with Foals.

 

Fuck me. When God created beige he subtitled it "Foals". Meaningless, bland fucking arsedribble. Every single song sounds like the last one. What the flying fuck purpose does repetitive pretend indie-disco serve? And their interviews; "Well it's about growing up, you know, and going out and that."

 

Fuck off you dull, dull, horrendous affliction. You're an insult to creativity and a stain on music. 

 

Know what I mean? 

I don't get how you hear these bands/artists you hate Redders? You gave up the pub game didn't you?

 

If so, what radio station do you listen to? If it's Radio X then I guess it's your own fault. But to have heard Liam Gallaghers laughably bad predictably shit music you would have to actively listen to it right? Jutst like the 160,000 that packed Knebworth a few weeks ago while your favourite band The Damned pulled out of a gig at the Wedgewood Rooms this week.... 

 

“know what I mean?”

 

 

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28 minutes ago, The Midnight Rambler said:

Florence and the machine

 

The dark days are never over with that wench howling complete dirge.

Dogs days isn’t it? Lest said about that the better though. We don’t wanna derail the thread on page one. 
 

Apologies …… Redderz…. Take back the lead …

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14 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Cold play. Whiny bland rubbish. Yue miscsl equivalent of gruel 

What I was going to say.

 

Their ruled the world song always seems to end up as the backing track to corporate videos.

 

"You said...we did".

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6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I don't get how you hear these bands/artists you hate Redders? You gave up the pub game didn't you?

 

If so, what radio station do you listen to? If it's Radio X then I guess it's your own fault. But to have heard Liam Gallaghers laughably bad predictably shit music you would have to actively listen to it right? Jutst like the 160,000 that packed Knebworth a few weeks ago while your favourite band The Damned pulled out of a gig at the Wedgewood Rooms this week.... 

 

“know what I mean?”

 

 

See, you've got it all wrong because I used your precious manc as the example of what isn't beige. You can hate The Damned for whatever reasons you choose but they're not beige, just as Gallagher isn't. 

 

As for 160,000 bucket hatted fuckwits filling a field; you know as well as I do that this country is rammed full of utter bellends and I'd give you a pound to a pinch of shit that 70% of that lot would go there to watch Robbie fucking Williams too. Doesn't make them music aficionados.

 

By the way, The Damned have cancelled a few gigs because half the band and crew have tested positive for covid.

 

I digress. Back to beige bands...

 

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6 hours ago, The Midnight Rambler said:

Florence and the machine

 

The dark days are never over with that wench howling complete dirge.

That doesn't work though. They're not a band I particularly like but it's quite possible to understand why some people would. They at least play loud, passionate music. They're definitely not beige.  

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Fuck it, Razorlight are going on the list. 

 

Foals

George Ezra

Adele

Coldplay

Ed fucking Sheeran

Razorlight

 

I'm also adding the complete waste of airwaves space that is

 

Bastille 

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I am not sure beige bands are as noticeable any more, dullards like that shite Keane were hard to avoid and even moreso if you go back to the 90s. How many modern bands do you even know now? Someone mentioned Foals earlier, no idea what any of their songs sound like. 

 

Other mentions like Florence and the Machine/Ed Sheeran/Adele have been around for well over 10 years and Coldplay 20. These are beige old bands

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42 minutes ago, Redder Lurtz said:

See, you've got it all wrong because I used your precious manc as the example of what isn't beige. You can hate The Damned for whatever reasons you choose but they're not beige, just as Gallagher isn't. 

 

As for 160,000 bucket hatted fuckwits filling a field; you know as well as I do that this country is rammed full of utter bellends and I'd give you a pound to a pinch of shit that 70% of that lot would go there to watch Robbie fucking Williams too. Doesn't make them music aficionados.

 

By the way, The Damned have cancelled a few gigs because half the band and crew have tested positive for covid.

 

I digress. Back to beige bands...

 

You didn’t answer my question about how you listen to all these people you hate? It’s not a trick question. I work from home and pretty much keep Radio 2 on all day and the only thing worse than a George Ezra song is Jeremy Vine. 
 

I said The Damned to wind you up. They definitely are not beige. 
 

Oh and Snow Patrol are underrated. Well some of their songs anyway. Decent band. 
 

 

Redderz I get the feeling you just wanted to kick off on Razorlight. 

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Razorlight can't still be going can they?  Didn't they just have one album 20 years ago?

 

Anyway, I'll tell you what pisses me off, shit covers of amazing songs.  Specifically either smooth jazz or acoustic guitar versions of absolute classics that just water down what made the original so good for no reason whatsoever.  I heard a hammond organ version of "I Say a Little Prayer" on the radio earlier, it was too fast, had no vocals, no soul, no nothing.

Why the hell would anyone listen to Dionne Warwick (or better Aretha Franklin) and think "I know, I can take the complete life out of that song, that will be a great idea".  Fuck off.

Same goes for you Sixpence None the Richer and the likes.

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Snow Patrol are fucking shite. They played a free gig in Leiden on the square outside my mate's pub. We watched about half a song then went in the pub, shut the door, and put something decent on loud to block it out. 

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Bastille are a good shout. That's a brutal band.

 

That band Embrace that were constantly pushed a few years ago even though they were utter bollocks.

 

Adele only exists for fat housewives and broken-hearted gay people. 

 

I'd argue that Coldplay were actually good for their first couple of albums.

 

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