Date thread

[moof]

Mate I flew seven hours in prop planes to 'talk' and 'sort things about the break up' for a day or two and ended up in a swirling vortex of sex, emotions, discussions, explanations, apologies, resentment, sex, a quick walk for the dog, more sex, three day blizzard which meant more sex, more emotions, potato latkes, massive blow out, sex.

 

i am still dealing with the ramifications of it. The 'wife' will see the new Bob and its going to trigger the sexual tigress in her. As well you, already having been spilling your seed from Nottingham and back, it will be time to show her what you are all about.

 

The sex will be some of the most fantastic sex you will ever have. You will be in amazement at how long your erection will last. You will get an emotional rush of deep feelings you have not felt since you first fell in love followed by intense physical yearning which she will reciprocate with her passionate love making. This will last hours, perhaps even days if you were caught in a three day blizzard. You will physically be exhausted from the sex.

 

And when it all dies down (ie- neither of you can possibly manage another orgasm) the emotions return and be prepared for an onlsaught of a tsunami of tears, confusion and indeciveness.

 

Bob, you have been to the abyss of rejection and climbed out, or possibly now riding out on a Harley Davidson manufactored by the good Miller Beer swilling white folk of Milwaukee, and the wife senses this, and realizes that all along you were her knight in shining leather. Or so she thinks. She does not see you as Boring Bob the Husband who worked too much, or Fat Bob who put on a stone or two, or Hardworking Bob, she sees you as Harley Bob riding the dual carriageways of middle England fucking who, when and what he wants and she will not want to share This Bob.

 

Only problem is equilibrium or what I call states of homeostatic emotion. Eventually she will want the stability, security and comfort of a stable relationship, and so will you believe it or not. And both of you will find that it does not take long to backslide right back into the emotional abuss again.

 

i once received sage advice about this and it was tread carefully.

 

Tread carefully Bon, she will only need ablut an hour before you are in her clutches and then you are writhing around naked.

Absolutely brilliant

[moof]

I always said this is what you should do spunky. I didn't think you'd boss it quite so quickly

[General Dryness]

I always said this is what you should do spunky. I didn't think you'd boss it quite so quickly

 

You've created a monster.

 

One day you'll be sitting in a hot tub on your own wondering what the fuck happened.

[RedKnight]

Bob's recovery from 'broken man' to 'breaker of women's hearts' is the best comeback since the 2004 ALCS.

[Spy Bee]

how old are you pal?

 

*envious glances*

I'm 36. I wouldn't try it on with a 19 year old but she chatted me up. She's coming round tonight too! 

[stringvest]

I'm 36. I wouldn't try it on with a 19 year old but she chatted me up. She's coming round tonight too! 

 

Adam, don't use any of your Take That references.  Or mention how it was all trees around there when you were growing up.  Actually, it probably still is all trees around there.  Make sure BBC3 is on and you're wearing your Kanye Vest.

[Rico1304]

Adam, don't use any of your Take That references.  Or mention how it was all trees around there when you were growing up.  Actually, it probably still is all trees around there.  Make sure BBC3 is on and you're wearing your Kanye Vest.

I've mentioned it before but videos are called DVDs now.

[Champ]

I'm 36. I wouldn't try it on with a 19 year old but she chatted me up. She's coming round tonight too!

 

Nah. Thats just weird.

 

Are you very rich, Spibes?

[stringvest]

Nah. Thats just weird.

 

Are you very rich, Spibes?

 

don't you start.  He's already taken.

[stringvest]

I've mentioned it before but videos are called DVDs now.

 

Marathon Snickers

 

Jif Cif

 

that probably covers it for one night's conversation. 

[lifetime fan]

Fuck all weird about that.

[Spy Bee]

Haha. No I'm not very rich, I don't look particularly young for my age, I don't have amazingly good patter. I have recently stopped giving a fuck about being single and all of a sudden I am like a shit to a load of flies.

[lifetime fan]

Marathon Snickers

 

Jif Cif

 

that probably covers it for one night's conversation.

 

They're still called opal fruits in my house.

[lifetime fan]

Why's a 17 year age gap weird?

[stringvest]

Haha. No I'm not very rich, I don't look particularly young for my age, I don't have amazingly good patter. I have recently stopped giving a fuck about being single and all of a sudden I am like a shit to a load of flies.

 

I'm certainly finding you a whole lot more attractive now you're not so needy.  And there's a 17 year age gap.  

[Champ]

Why's a 17 year age gap weird?

I'll put that back to you when Sophie/your daughter's 19

[lifetime fan]

I'll put that back to you when Sophie/your daughter's 19

I may not like it but whys it weird?

 

Would it be less weird if they were both older?

[Champ]

I may not like it but whys it weird?

Would it be less weird if they were both older?

Of course. I've previously used the example of my friend who married a bloke 20 years older than her when she was in her late 20s. It seemed pretty odd then but she probably always was quite 'old-headed' and now the age gap doesnt seem anything like it was.

 

There's a whole life of experience between a 19 year old and a 36 year old.

 

And I've spent more than enough time on here to persuade me of my position on this!

[Sugar Ape]

If you think any of us over 30's on here are more mature than a 19 year old then I question your sanity. This is a forum that embraced shitting backwards on a toilet.

[stringvest]

If you think any of us over 30's on here are more mature than a 19 year old then I question your sanity. This is a forum that embraced shitting backwards on a toilet.

 

not me.  I haven't had a poo for over 20 years.

[Bjornebye]

Haha Rapey that just cracked me up and I was asked why I was laughing. I just looked at him with pity, shook my head and went "You would never understand"

 

 

Spy-bee - Once you stop giving a fuck women want to have off the end of you. Act bothered about women and you may as well run at them with a bloody axe.

[Champ]

If you think any of us over 30's on here are more mature than a 19 year old then I question your sanity. This is a forum that embraced shitting backwards on a toilet.

Who mentioned 'mature'?

 

My concern would be for the 'chronologically younger' party

[Champ]

not me. I haven't had a poo for over 20 years.

Try prunes, dear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I'm off to take my zimmer round the block

[stringvest]

Try prunes, dear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I'm off to take my zimmer round the block

 

We get colonic irrigation on the council here as part of recycling.  You'll all be getting it in a few years.   The only one who voted against it was Nick Clagg.

[Spy Bee]

Of course. I've previously used the example of my friend who married a bloke 20 years older than her when she was in her late 20s. It seemed pretty odd then but she probably always was quite 'old-headed' and now the age gap doesnt seem anything like it was.

 

There's a whole life of experience between a 19 year old and a 36 year old.

 

And I've spent more than enough time on here to persuade me of my position on this!

I agree. I don't think it will have any longevity, but I don't see that as a problem for now. If things develop they do, if they don't, they don't. She does come across as a lot older, but like you say, there's a lot of life experience she ain't got that I have.