The world of a woman.

[Trumo]

My wife just emailed to ask if I rode my bike to work or drove.

 

The first clue should have been when I kissed her goodbye I was wearing total bike gear, but she also failed to notice that the car was still in the driveway.

 

Right outside the door.

 

Right past where she had to walk to work.

 

[neko]

Good one - you're a funny fucking guy Trumo.

 

For the record, I'm so far from the typical trendy modern cyclist and hipster riders.

 

I wear Johnny Cash black, no helmet - I've been riding for 35+ years, 15 countries, tens of thousands of kms all on my own. Riding to school in -30C weather all through high school and university.

 

I'm prone to violence against drivers (obviously), pedestrians and other riders too. It's nice to see more people riding (not sure if it's the same in the UK), but I also hate being associated with how cool and trendy it is now.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Neko, just get rid of the stabilisers mate.

 

Instant cred.

[Mook]

Text my missus at lunchtime, I suggested that I would go for a pint near her work (I finish half an hour before her) & she could come & get me & we could go out for tea. Too easy eh? No.

 

I got a text back, 'Do I have to come there to get you? Just come & wait outside my work'. It's freezing in Edinburgh today by the way.

 

Anyway, this went back & forth a few times with her suggesting I meet her in Nando's etc, like I'm going to sit waiting in Nando's for half a fucking hour, anyway I've just sent her a text saying I'll see her at home after work.

 

She's just forfeited a nice tea somewhere because she would rather I wait in the cold than in a pub having a nice cold pint after my work.

 

Fucking women.

[Bjornebye]

Is your missus one of them people who doesn't like walking into places on her own/first?

[Mook]

Is your missus one of them people who doesn't like walking into places on her own/first?

 

Yes, she's a woman.

 

As if today wasn't bad enough, I've got her shite to deal with.

 

I'm toying with the idea of just going to the pub anyway now because I'll get grief when she gets in for being akward or something.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Good one - you're a funny fucking guy Trumo.

 

For the record, I'm so far from the typical trendy modern cyclist and hipster riders.

 

I wear Johnny Cash black, no helmet - I've been riding for 35+ years, 15 countries, tens of thousands of kms all on my own. Riding to school in -30C weather all through high school and university.

 

I'm prone to violence against drivers (obviously), pedestrians and other riders too. It's nice to see more people riding (not sure if it's the same in the UK), but I also hate being associated with how cool and trendy it is now.

Trying too hard their mate.

[Bjornebye]

Mook they are utter pricks.

 

Mine wont even ring a fucking takeaway however talks over me when i'm ordering. "ask them to put extra hoi-sin sauce in" etc etc I end up telling her to fuck off and have some Chinese woman start on me down the phone

[Mook]

Going to the front door to get a delivery is another no no for a woman, even if I'm in the middle of planning a complex military coup on one of our neighbours, I have to get up & fucking get the door.

 

Murder.

[Harry Squatter]

I can't get a taxi on my own, I'm a woman

 

I can't get the bus home incase some weirdo talks to me because I'm a woman

 

I'm not walking all the way back from Asda with shopping because I'm a woman

 

I'm not taking the car to the garage because its a mans job

 

I'm not going round to the neighbours house to tell them to turn the music down because its a mans job.

 

I am not going into the loft to move a load of stuff about because I'm a woman.

 

Stop talking to me like I'm stupid and treat me as an equal.

[Major Tom]

even if I'm in the middle of planning a complex military coup on one of our neighbours,

.

 

If the military coup is being planned for this country, I'll come and answer your door while you finish the planning.

[Harry Squatter]

Mook they are utter pricks.

 

Mine wont even ring a fucking takeaway however talks over me when i'm ordering. "ask them to put extra hoi-sin sauce in" etc etc I end up telling her to fuck off and have some Chinese woman start on me down the phone

I need you to ring the insurance company and ask them a few things.

 

Why can't you do it?

 

It's probably beat if you do

 

For fucks sake

 

Cue 35 questions about why you never asked them x, y, z in your phonecall and when you tell them to do it themselves they start sulking.

[Bjornebye]

Its impossible to do anything right mate. Everyday we go through the same charade. texts while i'm at work

 

"what do you fancy for dinner"

 

"I'm not fussed"

 

"well think of something"

 

"I'm busy at work get whatever"

 

"Please give me a suggestion"

 

"Curry"

 

"knew you would say that"

 

Get home from work and it's a Bolognese or something completely different to anything I have ever suggested.

 

Every. Fucking. Day

[Mook]

Ha ha, I always say curry and get something else as well.

[Major Tom]

I always say curry and get lentil bake.

 

Well, you cook if you don't like it.

 

mmmmmm.....lentil bake...

[Bogman]

Yeah snap, but usually to do with sex, and getting something else, like no sex. Again.

[Bjornebye]

Hahahaha

 

I'm going to test the water with Bolognese next time. No doubt i'll get a fucking griffin casserole or something

 

The sex isn't an issue sorry Bogman. I can cope with Italian curry's. If she put a ban on the okey cokey i'd be packing her bags

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who am I fucking kidding. if she reads this thread i'm out on me arse. "I DO answer the door now fuck off to your mates and never look at me again go on, go and fuck your curry"

[Bjornebye]

Good one - you're a funny fucking guy Trumo.

 

For the record, I'm so far from the typical trendy modern cyclist and hipster riders.

 

I wear Johnny Cash black, no helmet - I've been riding for 35+ years, 15 countries, tens of thousands of kms all on my own. Riding to school in -30C weather all through high school and university.

 

I'm prone to violence against drivers (obviously), pedestrians and other riders too. It's nice to see more people riding (not sure if it's the same in the UK), but I also hate being associated with how cool and trendy it is now.

 

Fucking steppenwolf over there 

[neko]

Fucking steppenwolf over there 

 

forgot I even wrote that.

[Fowlers God]

Her. Can't go out I've got no money. Shit week I was lioking forward to that.

Me- i ll give you the money (gives it the you deserve it speech)

Her- no its OK I don't want to now

Me- OK

Her- BBQ Sunday I've invited people round (20 to be exact)

Me- I go butchers after work and get the meat then but it will be with the money for going out with if you want it.

Her- I told you I'm not going

 

Me- * gets food and drink*

 

Tonight I'm selfish for not giving her money and going out and spending all the money on booze and food for her party!

[Bjornebye]

Her. Can't go out I've got no money. Shit week I was lioking forward to that.

Me- i ll give you the money (gives it the you deserve it speech)

Her- no its OK I don't want to now

Me- OK

Her- BBQ Sunday I've invited people round (20 to be exact)

Me- I go butchers after work and get the meat then but it will be with the money for going out with if you want it.

Her- I told you I'm not going

 

Me- * gets food and drink*

 

Tonight I'm selfish for not giving her money and going out and spending all the money on booze and food for her party!

 

Earn more money you selfish prick 

[Harry Squatter]

Why do women always have an opinion about your mates? My Mrs is always slagging my mates off and goes on about stuff they did ages ago. I ask her why she is arsed but just spouts shite about her being allowed to have an opinion. I genuinely couldn't give a fuck about her mates or what they do, mainly because none of them are fit.

 

My mates bird is a miserable twat who slags me and loads of ther lads off that he associates with. This is despite her hanging around with a load of foghorns who regularly get banged by other fellas behind their husbands backs. But for some reason she still thinks she is in a position to pass judgement on the lads he hangs around with!.

[lifetime fan]

Women, don't you just love them. Dead.

[lifetime fan]

Out for lunch yesterday and she's starting to get tipsy so she's talking about sex.

 

Her: we have loads of sex but not much of it in the morning

Me: because you say no

Her: but I hate morning breath

Me: I've nearly always been up at least an hour before you and have already brushed my teeth

Her: I meant my morning breath

Me: you think I care about that?

Her: well obviously not, but I do

Me: so brush your teeth and hop on then

Her: no, that's too much hassle...but I wish we had more sex in the morning

[Ginny]

Am thinking about calling it a day with my bird. Love her and all that but can't handle being shouted at and dealing the fuckin moods any longer.