Quantcast
Slapper Stories - Page 2 - GF - General Forum - The Liverpool Way Jump to content

Welcome to the new and improved TLW!

 

Some of you may experience issues logging in and will get an 'incorrect password' error. Don't worry, you haven't typed it in wrong and your password hasn't been changed. You will need to reset it though in order to log in. Click the reset password link and you will receive an email with your new temporary password. Once logged in, you need to choose a new password (or restore to your old one) otherwise you will be locked out again.

 

If you have an out of date email address linked to your account, then you won't receive the new password. If that's the case then you'll need to email me (dave @liverpoolway.co.uk) or send me a tweet @theliverpoolway and I'll update your password manually. 

 

Any other problems or questions just let me know.

 

Thanks

Dave

23_Carra_Gold

Slapper Stories

Recommended Posts

Took some bird back to her house one night and done the deed. When I was getting off she asked for my number and even my name (no introductions from me, wham bam thank you mam. Best 17 seconds of her life). Obviously gave her a mates number and name.

 

Next weekend speaking to my mate and he said the weirdest thing happened. He was sitting in his a few nights before and got a phone call from some girl asking if he fancied a bit. Not one to turn it down he went and met her and carried on where I'd left off, even though someone completely different went to go meet her.

 

Classy lady.

 

 

Another time I done something similar after the 2006 F* C*p F*n*l. I'd been out for the day with my uncle and parted ways about 11pm when he went home. I went to a boozer for a stay behind and spent the night at a girl I'd just met house. Next morning, I sheepily left her house and started walking home only to be met by my same uncle walking for the papers. Seeing me in the same clothes looking like a tramps arse (to be fair the bird did too when I met her, but standards slip after a beer) made him crease up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the worst dirty slapper story coincides with my introduction to shagging same 'eads. I had just moved to Liverpool and met a same 'ead that fancied a go whilst wandering around in walkabout (that place is rank, by the way) and anyway, we hop in a taxi back to hers and its right near the kirkdale train station, and anyway... the place is a fucking disaster.

 

Despite high levels of alcohol, there was no way I was dining at her Y, as her place really was filthy and kind of smelled.

 

We went at it for a while and then both of us passed out. When I woke up, I was horrified.

 

Her flat was all sorts of horrible. I went to take a piss before excusing myself from there, and the bathroom was ... rancid. There was like mould all over the place, and tiles were missing all over the floors, and like everywhere else there was garbage strewn all over the fucking place. Luckily, I was already wearing my shoes to make a hasty retreat lest the toilet flush woke her up.

 

Even still, I basically stood in the doorway of the bathroom and pissed in the sink(It was closer to the doorway than the toilet and I still missed the target for some of it) so I didn't have to go into that toxic waste dump.

 

I wanted to add: The sheets were very fucking dirty as well. I got into my flat and got into the shower right away and scrubbed myself like a rape victim for quite a while.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

during my forces years, i was in bahrain knocking about with a air stewardess, one morining i decided to take a dump, went into the bathroom sat on the bog and then realised it was one of those windy noisy dumps

 

now im a bit prude with the whole toilet situation, so i got up and put the shower on to cover the noise, sat back down and started to strain, about 30 seconds later during a enormous fart, the stewardess walks in with a towel thinking i was having a shower

 

relationship didnt really carry on after that, some things shouldnt be seen

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It's ok Johnny. Show us on the doll where the bad man touched you.

 

The doll doesn't have an arse. The bad man touched me right up the arse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think the worst dirty slapper story coincides with my introduction to shagging same 'eads. I had just moved to Liverpool and met a same 'ead that fancied a go whilst wandering around in walkabout (that place is rank, by the way) and anyway, we hop in a taxi back to hers and its right near the kirkdale train station, and anyway... the place is a fucking disaster.

 

Despite high levels of alcohol, there was no way I was dining at her Y, as her place really was filthy and kind of smelled.

 

We went at it for a while and then both of us passed out. When I woke up, I was horrified.

 

Her flat was all sorts of horrible. I went to take a piss before excusing myself from there, and the bathroom was ... rancid. There was like mould all over the place, and tiles were missing all over the floors, and like everywhere else there was garbage strewn all over the fucking place. Luckily, I was already wearing my shoes to make a hasty retreat lest the toilet flush woke her up.

 

Even still, I basically stood in the doorway of the bathroom and pissed in the sink(It was closer to the doorway than the toilet and I still missed the target for some of it) so I didn't have to go into that toxic waste dump.

 

I wanted to add: The sheets were very fucking dirty as well. I got into my flat and got into the shower right away and scrubbed myself like a rape victim for quite a while.

 

Ah Unrighteous. Still a Gentleman flushing the toilet, even when he's trying to escape.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
during my forces years, i was in bahrain knocking about with a air stewardess, one morining i decided to take a dump, went into the bathroom sat on the bog and then realised it was one of those windy noisy dumps

 

now im a bit prude with the whole toilet situation, so i got up and put the shower on to cover the noise, sat back down and started to strain, about 30 seconds later during a enormous fart, the stewardess walks in with a towel thinking i was having a shower

 

relationship didnt really carry on after that, some things shouldnt be seen

 

That's not a slapper story - that's just a story about you doing a dump

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The worst one that springs to mind was a bird from Cumbria. She had two tongue piercings, which i took to be a a good thing, but my high expectations were shattered when i went to fuck her from behind and got a strong whiff of poo. Rubbish.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Met a girl in town one night, ended up in hers in Speke somewhere and woke up about 7am in her bed. Instantly my plan was to get out of there, so I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom for a quick change and get out. It was all going well until I got downstairs and never had a clue where I was. For the life of me I couldn't recognise where I was and couldn't see any road signs out the window, so I resorted to rummaging through her drawers (not for the first time during my stay there fnarr!) and found a letter with the address on. In my moment of joy I called a cab and asked him to get there as quick as he could.

 

Minutes later the taxi arrived and she was still akip upstairs. Success, I thought. I was free to walk out and never darken this doorstep again, and I'd managed to get away with it all without giving out my number or arranging to see 'it' again. Only disaster struck. The door was locked and there was no sign of a key. I frantically searched for a key or an open window but I was trapped. To make things worse the cab was honking its horn, and I was stood there in the window praying for him to have the ability to read my mind and smash through the door to save me. Alas, he turned around and drove off, and a small piece of me died.

 

Seconds later, and 'it' walks down the stairs and says that some "dickhead just woke me up blasting his horn". I spent the next three hours in that house wishing I was dead while discussing 'the future'.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The worst one that springs to mind was a bird from Cumbria. She had two tongue piercings, which i took to be a a good thing, but my high expectations were shattered when i went to fuck her from behind and got a strong whiff of poo. Rubbish.

 

Thats just put me off my KitKat and brew that is a wrongen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This probably only just qualifies but it made me laugh so i'm telling it.

 

Some mates of mine have just come back from a surfing holiday in Ecuador, except that there wasn't any surf. To make up for the lack of surf they got very pissed and went out on the pull, but there wasn't much to pull. Bob got blown out by this local tart who then succumbed to the advances of Rod. Rod laughed at Bob for getting blown out by the tart he just pulled until the barman issued the fateful words 'You know that's a man don't you?'

 

Rod started gagging and went over to smash it's head in but it started crying saying how misunderstood it was. Rod succumbed to this bullshit and spent the next hour consoling it, he even bought it a fucking drink.

 

He spent 3 more days out there trying desperately to fuck any old munter but it proved unsuccessful, so he banged a whore just so that his latest pull wasn't a man.

 

HA HA HA What a gayer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This probably only just qualifies but it made me laugh so i'm telling it.

 

Some mates of mine have just come back from a surfing holiday in Ecuador, except that there wasn't any surf. To make up for the lack of surf they got very pissed and went out on the pull, but there wasn't much to pull. Bob got blown out by this local tart who then succumbed to the advances of Rod. Rod laughed at Bob for getting blown out by the tart he just pulled until the barman issued the fateful words 'You know that's a man don't you?'

 

Rod started gagging and went over to smash it's head in but it started crying saying how misunderstood it was. Rod succumbed to this bullshit and spent the next hour consoling it, her even bought it a fucking drink.

 

He spent 3 more days out there trying desperately to fuck any old munter but it proved unsuccessful, so he banged a whore just so that his latest pull wasn't a man.

 

HA HA HA What a gayer.

 

It was you wasn't it? Rod and Bob indeed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Do they have to be disrgraceful or can we have some good un's aswell?!

 

They arent all horror stories are they!

 

People don't usually believe the good ones.

 

 

But whatever... here is one:

 

When I was living in Arizona, a friend of mine knew the owners of a strip club through family or something and they used to let him in, or so he says, and anyway... we finally went down there to test the theory and to our surprise, they let us in! (keep in mind we were like 17 when we first went there)

 

Well anyway, they didn't have a liquor license, so they were allowed to be fully nude (minge out, my friends) and we were in heaven. We went there A LOT, and knew most of the staff, which in turn means that some of the more confident lads, ie - Me, were able to get to know a lot of the girls really well.

 

Well.... I started using my brother's driver's license as a fake ID and started going to nightclubs and bars around my 18th birthday or so, and one time I see one of the fittest dancers in there with some goober. She was flirting, and drinking with me, and the guy is just kind of standing there watching us, and looking very unimpressed.

 

Meanwhile, I was basically just waiting for my friend Jesse who had an insanely nice house, and his parents were loaded, (not anymore! thanks recession), because we were planning on taking some dancers to his place because his parents were out of town. So, I was telling her that she should come with me elsewhere, and then we'll meet up with my friend(other friend Brian) later, who she was also flirting with because he had cocaine, and party with him and his friends.

 

So, she sees the logic in this being that she'll likely get free cocaine, and agrees.

 

So, she tells the guy, because he picked her up from WORK earlier, that Im friends with the owner of the club and she is suppose to be working so he's going to take me back to work. He looks upset-ish, and then gives some 'okays'.

 

My friend Jesse pulls into the carpark of the bar and sees this guy putting a bag in the trunk of my car, closing it, and then going over to his car, and getting in.

 

He is like, 'whats up? are we still going to the titty bar?' and I was like, 'No. We've got different plans."

 

So, she gets into my car with me, and my friend Jesse is following in his car.

 

I keep looking over at her, because she's hot, tall, blonde, fake tits, fit body... and she notices and is all, "What are you looking at?" in a playful manner and I'm all, "I'm just thinking its a shame that I don't get to see you dancing tonight."

 

Next thing I know, she's taking off all her clothes in the passenger seat. (Later my friend Jesse was like, "I just see clothes flying into the back seat and Im like, "Well, I guess I should go home" and takes a right turn, when I take a left turn... whatever, his loss)

 

She starts giving me road-head on the way back to my house, and I nearly crash, but I manage to get there in one piece.

 

Cue a few hours of shagging in various places -- Pool table, sofa, bed, kitchen counter... and she finally passes out in my bed.

 

I'm thinking, "Fuck this. I opened a bottle of champagne and I'm not letting it go to waste", and I call my buddy Jesse over to help finish it and go get some food. He shows up, and I open my bedroom door showing the sleeping naked stripper and am like, "Want to hit this? Just keep the lights off and she'll just think its me." (Fuck you, I was 18 )

 

He declines, whilst laughing, we finish off the champagne and Im like let's wake her up to go get some food.

 

She has totally passed out and won't wake up. So I am like, "help me dress this girl, I don't want her sleeping here."

 

So we get her back into her clothes, to the best of our ability on a passed out stripper. I carry her and put her in the back of my car and we drive to an all night restaurant.

 

We get out of the car, and my friend Jesse is all, "What about her?" and I hit the car alarm and am all, "We'll know if she wakes up."

 

We eat, and then drive her back to the strip club, thinking that her car must be there. (We went through her bag looking for her address and found car keys)

 

So we drive to the titty bar and start clicking the alarm button to see which car it was, and its this brand new big SUV with a hefty price tag. Something isn't adding up to Jesse, but I don't care and pull up next to it and start trying to get her into the back seat so she can keep sleeping.

 

Finally, my friend Jesse starts laughing and was all, "What was that guy's name?"

 

I can't really remember but say, "I think it's Peter or something"

 

He's gone through her glove box and was holding her driving license and car registration. Apparently, that guy who put her bag in the back of my car and looked upset was her HUSBAND.

 

Slappers are indeed ace.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This probably only just qualifies but it made me laugh so i'm telling it.

 

Some mates of mine have just come back from a surfing holiday in Ecuador, except that there wasn't any surf. To make up for the lack of surf they got very pissed and went out on the pull, but there wasn't much to pull. Bob got blown out by this local tart who then succumbed to the advances of Rod. Rod laughed at Bob for getting blown out by the tart he just pulled until the barman issued the fateful words 'You know that's a man don't you?'

 

Rod started gagging and went over to smash it's head in but it started crying saying how misunderstood it was. Rod succumbed to this bullshit and spent the next hour consoling it, he even bought it a fucking drink.

 

He spent 3 more days out there trying desperately to fuck any old munter but it proved unsuccessful, so he banged a whore just so that his latest pull wasn't a man.

 

HA HA HA What a gayer.

 

"it"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
He shows up, and I open my bedroom door showing the sleeping naked stripper and am like, "Want to hit this? Just keep the lights off and she'll just think its me." (Fuck you, I was 18 )

 

 

Yes, attempting to facilitate rape is absolutely fine when you are 18

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Me too!

 

Slapper stories are immense.

 

Do they have to be disrgraceful or can we have some good un's aswell?!

 

They arent all horror stories are they!

 

Liar!

 

Only messing Lance, immense.

 

I want a go on fake tits soooo bad.

 

Ha your comments on this thread are great you sound like a little horny 15yr old

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×