Prime candidate for TWAT List.... Jonathan Shalit

[blackberryway]

Here is a prime candidate for the TWAT list.

 

Jonathan Shalit truly is a "twat" and I can guarantee lots of serious cringing if you spot this guy in action. He thinks he is really big cheese in Showbiz (and in newspapers as a writer) and imagines he is of worldwide importance but in fact he's never managed or handled any serious bands at all. He also fancies himself as some sort of journalist but his writing in the "Daily Mail" (see below) is all shameless, self-serving, show-off, garbage.

 

He's all over the place is Shalit....always popping up to express his opinions on TV on such subjects as Michael Jackson. How dare he. He's one of those really irritating people who has got himself in a position of being asked to comment by the media if there is anything in the news about music/showbiz or, it seems Barbados. Then up pops this prat again.

 

All he did was manage Charlotte Church and someone called Mylene Glass, whoever she is, and a few other people that are hardly going to change the world. He thinks he’s Louis B Mayer and he’d like to have Simon Cowell’s power and Michael Winner’s friends.

 

What a creep. Michael Winner, witty and interesting as he is, has an act which is unique to him, which is to appear OTT but it's all tongue-in-cheek and he is in fact a lovely guy, witty, brilliant and caring. Jonathan Shalit wants it all, including all that Michael Winner has built up.....no chance at all. Shalit is just a twat.

 

He made his name by talking Charlotte Church (or her parents) into allowing him to handle her when she was a little girl. When she got a few years older and clued up she could not have got rid of this poison dwarf quickly enough. Then he sued her.

 

Michael Winner nearly died after being poisoned by shell-fish in Barbados......he used to go every Christmas but he didn’t go last year so what happens? Shalit opens his big gob. This guy wants to be the next Michael Winner sending despatches from Barbados except that unlike Winner, neither his writing or his wit comes anywhere near. He is just incredibly irritating. This is what appeared in the "Daily Mail" last January:-

 

"Without Michael Winner providing the unofficial entertainment in Barbados this New Year for the first time in 28 years, Jonathan Shalit has unintentionally stepped into his shoes.

The well-nourished uber-agent, who looks after Myleene Klass, was showing off on a jet ski with beautiful London lawyer, Yaell Tornhibler, when the two were unceremoniously dumped into the Caribbean by a freak wave.

'This huge wave knocked us off the jet ski and we crashed onto rocks.

'We ended up with cuts and bruises - but not too badly,' says Jonathan, who went on to meet millionaire racehorse owner Michael Tabor's daughter, Laurel, at last night's New Year's Eve party at the Sandy Lane Hotel.

Jonathan, meanwhile, disputes Winner's contention that it is no fun seeing in New Year at Sandy Lane.

'I've always had a fabulous time,' Jonathan tells me. 'I like Michael but one or two people have expressed the view that they are relieved he's not in Barbados this year."

 

Read more: RICHARD KAY: Tallulah lost in translation | Mail Online

 

This is what he writes about himself-

 

Jonathan Shalit - Biography

 

This is him showing off and posing:-

 

I'm a celebrity, get me to Barbados! | Mail Online

 

While Britain shivered I was getting away from it all at the world's glitziest party | Mail Online

 

Nuff said?

[paddyberger15]

Nobody gives a fuck.

[blackberryway]

That's because you haven't seen him yet.

[Stu Monty]

This is the weirdest new poster for a long, long time.

[Guest TK-421]

I've read the words and seen the pictures. He does indeed appear to be a massive twat. Well done.

[blackberryway]

That's not the half of it. Charlotte Church, who sacked her short, fat manager when she was only 14 was reported as saying, in national newspapers that she dislked his personal habilts. QUOTE: "Jonathan Shalit, who is suing the opera singer and her parents for £5m for breach of contract, was sacked "out of the blue" in a letter that stated the 14-year-old soprano "disliked his personal habits."

 

What could those habits have been to so offend???

[rubble-rouser]

That's not the half of it. Charlotte Church, who sacked her short, fat manager when she was only 14 was reported as saying, in national newspapers that she dislked his personal habilts. QUOTE: "Jonathan Shalit, who is suing the opera singer and her parents for £5m for breach of contract, was sacked "out of the blue" in a letter that stated the 14-year-old soprano "disliked his personal habits."

 

What could those habits have been to so offend???

 

I'm guessing it was harping on endlessly about Michael Winner a propos nothing in particular.

[dennis tooth]

Well that Myleen Clas is out of a 'band' isn't she. I've always thought she was fit but then I read about her sitting with Derek Acorah in Derren Brown's book when Derren Brown met Derek whom and she got her pr company to place a story in the Scum about it telling all these lies to make Derek look like some sort of sex God and Derren was just some pathetic jealous wannabe in the presence of a great mind. She's obviously one of them fit burds whose taken to hanging out with some of the worst twats in town.

[blackberryway]

There are far better people to hang out with. But she's not the only one to hang out with this publicity seeking fat dwarf:-

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/91908-oh-happy-day.html

 

even though he has "personal habits" that seem to upset some people.

[blackberryway]

Hardly......nor am I wound up......but given the interest in fit women taking their kit off for big dosh, you now know that Jonathan Shalit, the twat, is laughing all the way to the bank? He's gaining fast on Simon Cowell by selling tits and bums.

[blackberryway]

"Well that Myleen Clas is out of a 'band' isn't she. I've always thought she was fit but then I read about her sitting with Derek Acorah in Derren Brown's book when Derren Brown met Derek whom and she got her pr company to place a story in the Scum about it telling all these lies to make Derek look like some sort of sex God and Derren was just some pathetic jealous wannabe in the presence of a great mind. She's obviously one of them fit burds whose taken to hanging out with some of the worst twats in town."

 

 

Just what I was saying. This guy is a manipulator. Don't know if he was behind this but on all available evidence it sounds more than possible.

[Wor Horse]

[mattyq]

Has he dumped you recently?

I haven't got a clue who you're talking about

[dennis tooth]

This reminds of me GTA Liberty City stories, theres a mission on there, I think I dropped this chap out of a helicopter after slapping him about a bit.

[blackberryway]

Wigan....no way. I'm from the land of Macca and John Winston Lennon.

 

From POPJUSTICE website:

 

Think of Lady Gaga, then think of the opposite

Story filed Friday, 09 October 2009

 

 

We're gruesomely fascinated by Beardsmith, the winners of GMTV's 'No 1 Family' competition. From the GMTV website: "Neil set up the band with his family 10 years ago. He was a scout leader and his children were scouts and guides. The local village wanted the scouts to take part in a local fair, so he got his children together and formed a band. Everyone said how brilliant they were and they have been playing in a band together ever since."

 

The 'No 1 Family' judging panel included The Saturdays' A&R 'guru' Jordan Jay, a Nolan, and 'music impresario' Jonathan Shalit. Shalit is the walking, talking, contract-negotiating embodiment of everything people talk about when they discuss 'music industry men in suits'. He is 'the man' young artists are told to avoid. If you think about all the self-appointed music revolution warriors bleating on about brave new futures for the world of recorded and unrecorded music, and if you think about all the blogs, and thinktanks, and conferences and podcasts they're involved with, and if you think about all these ways they advise new artists to take control of their careers instead of signing their lives away to 'the man', and if you then think of Jonathan Shalit, you begin to wonder whether Shalit's retirement or sudden and of course very sad death might actually calm everyone down a bit. You wonder whether Shalit disappearing from the world of mainstream music might make all the DIY evangelists suddenly go, 'well the current music industry model is outdated and needs some work, but actually with him out of the way it's about five times less terrible than it was this time last week, maybe give it a try'.

 

Anyway you can get the general feel of 'No 1 Family' and Beardsmith in this clip.

 

 

 

Our favourite bit is at the two minute forty five point when Shalit is really hamming up the tension and drama and, behind him, some old love's having trouble with a Mint Imperial. Brilliant.

 

 

Read more: Popjustice - Think of Lady Gaga, then think of the opposite

[paddyberger15]

This is the weirdest new poster for a long, long time.

 

It's never a good start when a new poster stumbles on the site whilst Googling Michael Winner looking for wank material.

Noos was the same with Maureen Lipman, and look how that turned out. The fucker is still here.

[blackberryway]

From “The Times”

 

Shalit, 47, who is single and lives in Kensington, west London, will appear in a panel discussion on reality television at the Edinburgh International TV Festival on August 29.

 

How much money do you have in your wallet?

 

I’ve got about £300 in sterling, euros and dollars. I often travel at short notice between Europe and America on business.

 

What credit cards do you use?

 

My main ones are a British Airways American Express card and a black American Express Centurion. The yearly cost of having Centurion trebled in September from £600 to £1,800, but it offers the most amazing 24-hour concierge service.

 

Are you a saver or a spender?

 

I tend to spend on the real luxuries. I also have a quality tailor and I spend quite a lot on my suits, which all have velvet collars.

 

How much did you earn last year?

 

I earned more than I did the year before, which was more than the year before that. Only the taxman and the accountant know exactly how much. Let’s just say I made a comfortable six-figure sum.

 

How has the recession affected you?

 

Times of recession provide opportunities. Shalit Global’s repeat business has been down, but sometimes there are more possibilities in difficult economic climates — you just have to dig deeper for them. If, like me, you are an entrepreneur, your job is to create opportunities out of nothing. For example, I have been working with Myleene Klass in developing the Baby K clothing brand for Mothercare.

 

We always encourage our clients to diversify in all they do and think outside the box.

 

Have you ever been really hard up?

 

Even though I come from a comfortable background, my parents never spoilt me. They gave me the core things in life, such as education, but I had to work for my money. When I was a teenager, we lived in Sussex and I got pocket money for clearing the hay bales from the farm next door, which my grandmother owned. I remember being very excited when I got my first pay packet in a brown envelope and there was £16 in it for a week’s work.

 

I had a couple of other jobs at the time, too. I worked in a local music factory stuffing records into envelopes and on a nearby chicken farm slaughtering chickens to be sold at the market.

 

Do you own a property?

 

I have a flat in Kensington, which I bought in 2001 for £860,000. I used part of my £2.3m settlement to pay for it and converted two of the four bedrooms into a study and dining room.

 

About four months ago, I also bought a converted barn in Sussex for a seven-figure sum.

 

I did very well on buy-to-let properties but got out of the market two years ago. From 2001 to 2007, I bought about 20 ex-council flats in west London for anything between £160,000 and £280,000.

 

They went up steadily in value and gave me a guaranteed income because they were used by first-time renters. I worked out that I made about 12% more than I would have done if I had put the money anywhere else.

 

I will definitely invest in buy-to-lets again but I think I will have to wait until a year after the next election, once the economic situation has settled down.

 

What was your first job?

 

When I left school, I started work as an insurance broker at Lloyd’s of London. But I really wanted to break into music from the very beginning.

 

In fact, Richard Branson offered me a job with the old Virgin Records, but my parents persuaded me to turn it down. I stayed at Lloyd’s for a year-and-a-half, on the grand sum of £4,000, but I hated it.

 

What has been your most lucrative work and did you use the money to buy anything special?

 

In 1999, I signed a $1m (£600,000) deal with the Ford Motor Corporation in Detroit.

 

I was still looking after Charlotte Church and she appeared in their millennium commercial, which was a celebration of Ford and the 20th century. It broadcast on November 1, 1999, for two minutes on virtually every commercial TV station in the world. I got 20% of Charlotte’s earnings, so those two minutes earned me $200,000. I used the money to clear all my debts.

 

Are you better off than your parents?

 

My father was a banker — he’s retired now — and it would be vulgar to make any exact comparisons, but we share the same work ethic. My family came to England from Hungary and Latvia in the 1920s and achieved a lot through hard work and persistence.

 

Do you invest in shares?

 

About 80% of my portfolio is in equities. I have a spread of investments and my private pension is mostly in shares. I have never really done high-risk investments, though, because you don’t get anything for nothing.

 

I also have three paintings by the British artist Patrick Heron, which I regard as part of my investment portfolio even though they are not hugely valuable. I bought them nine years ago and each cost a five-figure sum.

 

What’s better — property or pension?

 

With a property you have a tangible asset to enjoy, whereas with pensions the goalposts keep moving. I have been investing in my private pension for the past 15 years, but heaven knows what that will be worth in 20 or 30 years. As a rule of thumb, I put about 5% of my earnings into it. I do top-ups each year as well.

 

What’s been your best investment?

 

Investing time and money in the amazing people I work with, both clients and staff.

 

What about worst?

 

A couple of my ex-clients invested far less effort in their careers than I did.

 

Do you manage your own financial affairs?

 

I have a collection of people to advise me and I spread my wealth around so I don’t get caught out if one investment plummets.

 

What’s the most extravagant thing you have ever bought?

 

My apartment in Kensington.

 

What is your money weakness?

 

I have two. One is eating at Richard Caring restaurants like The Ivy and Scott’s. The other is my annual Christmas holiday in Barbados.

 

What aspect of the tax system would you change?

 

I would scrap the top tax at 50%, which will probably mean you are paying 70% after National Insurance and Vat. It will be detrimental to the UK’s commercial and trading sectors because it won’t incentivise people to work beyond a certain level.

 

What is your financial priority?

 

Build the wealth of my clients and maintain the profitability of my business.

 

What is the most important lesson you have learnt about money?

 

The more you have, the more you worry because you get more responsibilities.

[paddyberger15]

Can we not ban this tedious fucking blert already please. If this cunt buys a season ticket, I'm fucked if I ever will.

[VladimirIlyich]

Does anybody really give a shite about this post?

 

Has the OP been involved in any of the proper football posts?

 

Do you work for a poncey magazine or rag as a 'celeb watcher?'

 

Can we ban celeb talk and get back to football,birds,booze and general banter instead?

[Juniper]

Can I ask you a serious question Michael Winn...I mean Blackberry. Something I've observed that the others might not have, as it's not that obvious.

 

You're a bit mental aren't you?.

 

Back in your box, Michael.

[Redder Lurtz]

Here is a prime candidate for the TWAT list.

 

 

So why didn't you just add him to the twat list then? That way I wouldn't have just had to put up with several thousand words of tedium from you. You owe me ten minutes of my life.

[blackberryway]

BECAUSE, given Jonathan Shalit helps his "talent" flog pics of themselves so you lot can wank over them, he belongs on this site, along with football, booze and birds. Don't you want to know where your wank fodder comes from?

[blackberryway]

Blackberry Way

Absolutely ....... .... .... ....

Its a terrible day

Up with a lark

Silly girl I don't know what to say

She was running away

So now Im standing on the corner

Lost, in the things that I say

What am I supposed to do now-w????

[Wor Horse]

Only if it's organic.

[Juniper]

Don't you want to know where your wank fodder comes from?

 

Nah

 

For the same reason I was never one for reading a model's life story in Razzle either, back in the day.

 

Too busy knocking one off over the image of her clunge you see.