2008's stupid quotes (from the Mirror)

[The Chief]

Camel gob has obviously heard someone say "he's taken up the mantle" and has thought "that sounds clever, I'll use that at every opportunity The dumb fuck.

Lampards quip about Michael Caine is hilarious too.

 

"Our club captain Gary Neville's been out for a year now, but Giggsy has taken up the mantelpiece" - RIO FERDINAND

 

“‘I’m sure the mantelpiece of captaincy will suit Wayne Rooney” – RIO FERDINAND

 

“Someone now has to step up and take on the mantelpiece” – RIO FERDINAND

 

“I’m not going to make any predictions for tonight – except that England will win 3-0” – MIKE PARRY

 

"There are kids out there who'd chop their legs off to play football for Brighton” – ROBBIE SAVAGE

 

“Managing in a foreign country will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that doesn't come along that often” – STEVE McCLAREN

 

"Had Taylor not broken Eduardo's leg with that tackle we'd have said 'that's a leg- breaking tackle'” – MATT LE TISSIER

 

"Stoke are fourth in the Championship, and you can't ask for more than that" - MARK BRIGHT

 

"You always lose when your opponents score and you don't" - RAYMOND DOMENECH

 

"Sometimes you have to swallow the unswallowable” – ARSENE WENGER

 

"Arsenal haven't won anything for three years, so they're used to success” - GLENN HODDLE

 

"It's like trying to put a needle through a small hole" - ALAN SMITH

 

"Fernando Torres' English seems to be coming on good" - ANDY TOWNSEND

 

"Ian Ashby is very underrated and it's right he gets the accolades he gets" - PAUL MERSON

 

"Let's hope it's not a case of sore grapes" - ALAN BRAZIL

 

"I told Camara 'We're not interested in what's happened to you before, we just want you to reproduce what you did four years ago'” – STEVE BRUCE

 

"I read Michael Caine's biography. It was about him growing up" - FRANK LAMPARD

 

"If I have to move on from Newcastle, hopefully it will be to somewhere else” – JOE KINNEAR

 

"It's only a must-win game if you need to win it” -ROY AITKEN

 

“Brian Laws has lifted his team out of precocious waters” - ALVIN MARTIN

 

“Our qualifying campaign was a successful failure” – KENNY MILLER

 

"Berbatov can see things with the outside of his boot" - ALVIN MARTIN

 

"Some players need a boot up their backside. Other players need the arm" - ALAN BRAZIL

 

"The three of them will be acting in tandem" - PETER BEARDSLEY

 

"In this game, you've got to keep hitting the ball back over the net" - SIMON JORDAN

 

"I'm English, without a doubt. I will never ever say I'm not English. English born and bred. I'm Turkish, though” – COLIN KAZIM-RICHARDS

 

"I can't remember anything about my first-ever goal. It was against Oldham, Andy Goram was in goal, Alan Irvine crossed it for me and we won 3-2” – IAN WRIGHT

 

"After that goal you could literally see Arsenal's players deflating" -MICKY QUINN

 

"It's a one-off game over two legs" - PAUL ELLIOTT

 

“Stephen Hunt’s goals are priceless… that’s why he’s worth £4million” – ALAN McINALLY

 

"Rafa Benitez will be keeping at least two eyes on the Champions League"- DJ SPOONY

 

“They’re going to bring on a couple of substitutes, probably from the bench” – DAVID PLEAT

“Stoke are defending like beavers” - CHRIS KAMARA

 

"Chelsea are playing with much more refreshingness” – GLENN HODDLE

 

"They're giving as good as they give" - PAUL MERSON

 

“I've sat on the hot seat and I felt its hotness” - BOBBY GOULD

 

"Bob Paisley once pinned a map on the wall and never said a single word to us. 'Just take a look at that', he said” – GRAEME SOUNESS

 

“Get your players on who can unlock the door and sooner or later they will break the door down” – TIM SHERWOOD

 

"Albert Riera looks like the full McCoy" - STEVE CLARIDGE

 

“They've kicked our backsides. Now we've got to lick our wounds” – STEVE BRUCE

 

“Chelsea aren’t playing in what I like to call the corners of the pitch” – GRAHAM TAYLOR

 

"Leeds are taking Chester to the sword" - ANDY RITCHIE

 

"It finished Charlton 2, Swansea 0... not a bad result for either side" - ANDREW McKENNA

 

“This sums up the ridiculum of the situation” – STAN COLLYMORE

 

"Fraizer Campbell has two great feet... left and right" - MARK BRIGHT

 

"That's Arsenal. They're either brilliant or inconsistent" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

 

"Man City have put a spanner in the waves" - MIKE PARRY

 

"If the Liverpool board are going to wash their dirty linen in public they should do it behind closed doors” – PHIL THOMPSON

 

"I wouldn't touch Chimbonda with a barn door" -ALAN BRAZIL

 

"Last year's title race was a bit of a damp squid." – MARK HATELEY

 

"Without using cliches, we're taking it one step at a time" - NEWCASTLE BID FIXER KEITH HARRIS

 

“I’m like a new stranger to the players” – JOE KINNEAR

 

“Aston Villa are breathing down their throats” – KENNY CUNNINGHAM

 

"Lady luck is trying his best for Liverpool" - STEVE CLARIDGE

 

“Sky gets its money from prescription payers” – MARTIN KEOWN

 

"Too often, we've been on the losing end of a defeat" - ROY KEANE

 

“Servet is literally, literally right up his backside” - ANDY TOWNSEND

 

“I’d compare myself to Zinedine Zidane… a humble guy who just happened to be the best” – NICOLAS ANELKA

 

“Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year” – ROB HAWTHORNE

 

“The gaffer says he’s backing me to the hills” – CAMERON JEROME

 

“Us winning that game might stop people saying 'Newcastle have not won under Kevin Keegan'” - KEVIN KEEGAN

 

"He's already on a yellow card, so now he's really treading the boards" - JOHN SALAKO

 

"I don't predict in football. But next week you will see a vastly different Norwich City” – GLENN ROEDER

 

“David Nugent tore up the Championship but he’s gone to Portsmouth and he’s a fish up a tree” – PAUL MERSON

 

"The English manager I most admire is Arsene Wenger. Even if he is not English" – PHIL SCOLARI

 

"The Arsenal youth team is full of young players” – ROBBIE EARLE

 

"What happened? I cannot explanate it" - EMMANUEL ADEBAYOR

[Total Longo]

"Some players need a boot up their backside. Other players need the arm" - ALAN BRAZIL

 

ha ha ha that rules

[Skrtel Milk]

Some absolute classic stuff there. I'm in tears.

[Spy Bee]

Some great stuff there. Repped.

[elvis]

“They've kicked our backsides. Now we've got to lick our wounds” – STEVE BRUCE

Fuckin' great stuff !