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Lied on your CV?

windass

By windass,
in GF - General Forum

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Charles Penrose Proficient

Charles Penrose

Posted
Posted
didnt know that :eek:

 

It is true, slight correction tho it's 'obtaining a pecuniary advantage'.

 

I've used it twice in the context of someone lying to an employer to get a job, both regarding disclosure of previous convictions though. It's always nice to find that some absolute cunt of an employee, thieving from colleagues etc, has failed to disclose previous convictions. I highly doubt any Police Officer would look to push that offence unless there were other offences they were investigating. We don't get called about someone claiming to have his five GSCE A to C's and go on to investigate it.

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windass Community Regular

windass

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It is true, slight correction tho it's 'obtaining a pecuniary advantage'.

 

I've used it twice in the context of someone lying to an employer to get a job, both regarding disclosure of previous convictions though. It's always nice to find that some absolute cunt of an employee, thieving from colleagues etc, has failed to disclose previous convictions. I highly doubt any Police Officer would look to push that offence unless there were other offences they were investigating. We don't get called about someone claiming to have his five GSCE A to C's and go on to investigate it.

 

If the employers turns me down ill blast him with me gun!!;)

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CWD82 Experienced

CWD82

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If you're going to lie make sure you remember them though!

 

I've had two people leave employment in the office I work in for lying on a CV then tripping themselves up later on and uunwrapping all the lies.

 

Both were dismissed on the terms of gross misconduct and can now be found stacking shelves in Old Swan sainsbury's and on the dole respectively!

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Terry Tibbs Apprentice

Terry Tibbs

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Funny you should say that, but a months ago I was looking for a lad to work the fore court. Had to get rid of the last lad, Jevon, I caught him robbing out the till and when I accosted him, the fackin stain emptied a canister of CS in my face before robbing a VW Lupo and making his getaway. Anyway, this Kosovan lad comes in for a job, Bosco. He says, Terry, I need a job, my status in your country is not exactly legitimate but I am a hard worker and will work for what you give me. I said Bosco, listen, come down the portokabin tommorrow at lunch, bring a CV and we'll have a chat. Day after he turns up, nice suit, George at Asda, and a Winnie the Pooh Tie. He hands me his CV, its all good, he's done a bit of labouring, a bit of farming, the boy is clearly a grafter. I said Bosco, listen, the jobs yours, I pay you on commission, keep your head down and everybodies happy. 2 months pass, Terry Tibbs is lying in bed in his mock Tudor mansion. Theres a knock at the door, two of the Jean Dammes. Turns out Bosco is wanted in his home land for War Crimes, the Car Lot had been tapped for weeks, Bosco has facked off somewher and I go to jail for harbouring a Terrorist. If only that fackin liberty had put that on his CV, none of this would have happened and Terry Tibbs would still have a nice tight arsehole.

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Ted Grand Master

Ted

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Terry Tibbs thought it lacked clout. However he would still smash the granny out of Karen Allen, looks like a young Karen Carpenter before she took dieting to a foolish level.

 

The fuck is a clout?

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Terry Tibbs Apprentice

Terry Tibbs

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He is clearly an insane genius - he would make an outstanding Bond villain!

 

In fact, his avatar reminds me a little of Blofeld...

 

Terry Tibbs admires your astuteness, and its not the first time he has been mistaken for the role filled by both Donald Pleasance and Telly Savalas respectively. However, if you remember Blofeld doesn't have any ear lobes whereas Terry Tibbs clearly does. Kudos though son, kudos!

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windass Community Regular

windass

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I've never had to lie on my CV, because, quite frankly, it's flawless. The only dilemmas I have are what I can fit on a single side of A4.

 

My old mate lied he went to university to become an estate agent.He was regarded as one of best estate agents im my town!

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