Terry Tibbs

Warrafuck is this negging? Terry Tibbs is confused. And if you have an issue with speaking in the third person, you can fack off. Terry Tibbs will have you know academic writing requires it. In order to achieve anything higher than a 2.1 candidates must show academic rigeur in their writing-including use of the third person. One is now telling you to fack off.

Wharrafuck is "negged". Speak English boy!

Don' answer the fackin phone then you perv. Personally, Terry Tibbs loves it when your Mum rings him. He usually ends up hard after a couple of nicities on the phone!

Martine Mc Cutcheon? Fackin hell, girls got a head like a pasty.

Ireland, don't talk to Terry Tibbs about Ireland or indeed the Ireland. Back in the seventies, Terry Tibbs and the couple of the lads from the "purple vein" gentleans club went on a jolly to Dublin. I won't go into it too much; we drank guiness, there was an altercation at the pub with us and a few guys with ginger sideburns, bish bash bosh Terry Tibbs did 16 years. I can't talk too much about it, Terry Tibbs is still fighting to clear his name, but sharing a cell for the best part of 2 decades with a 19stone member of the UDA called Micky is no way to spend your time. Have you been to prison son? Wall to wall man friends. I've been out the slammer 20 years now and still can't sit down. Fackin Irish. Keep your hurling and your Guiness, it tastes like warm horse spunk anyway.

Audio books? Well, Terry Tibbs has heard it all now. A book you listen to? Well I don' know about you, but that defeats the purpose of a book. The line of it being a book is well and truly crossed and now it is a radio programme. Has the country really got so fackin' idle that we cannot be bothered to actually pour a double brandy, settle dahn, slip into a velvet evening jacket, pop on a cravat, settle dahn into the Chesterdfield and read a good Catherine Cookson? Now don't get me wrong, certain types cannot read, the dsylexic, the blind and the Irish, but if you are non of the above, you are just a fackin liability. Go back to schooool, take an evening course in basic English language and do what is intended with a book and fackin' read it you fleck of arse debris.

Weeell, what happened to respect in this country? You son need to turn your head upside down, wobble it and rethink your attitudes. The Boss is there to be respected and respected is what he shall be. You think Terry Tibbs got to where he was today by whining on an internet forum whenever his boss asked him to do a bit of photocopying? You think Terry Tibbs became the proprieter of the number one car dealership on Canvey Island by calling Samaritans whenever his boss asked him to make the tea? Let me tell you something you fackin worm; When Terry Tibbs was an apprentice, back in the 1910's selling cars was hard, very hard as they weren't in mass production. My boss used to regularly call me into his office, pull down my trousers and bugger me till I forgot my name, just to pass the boredom. Did I complain, did I fack. Now shat arp, stop whining and go back to your bedsit and wank into a sock you leach.

What the fack has happened to this place? Terry Tibbs takes a sabatical, comes back, and now shit stabbers like you are talking about getting fingered up the jacksy. You took a wrong turn son! A wrong turn. Don't get me wrong, the sexual exploits of Terry Tibbs are notorious, several indeed have been discussed on this forum. Terry Tibbs is a very liberal man, very liberal, he's done things that would make Caligula blush. Back in the mid 70's to early 80's he was a fackin animal; whips, crea, hamsters, piss, shit, hairy women, hairy men, mopeds, fat fryers, the fackin lot. My jacobs has been described as a minefield by many a GUM clinic doctor on an account of my sexual ambiguity. Let me tell you son, Terry Tibbs has wrote the book on facking, jizzed on it, and stuck it up your Auntie May's twat. But when it comes to his arsehole being tampered with? Oh no son. Oh no. The line is fackin well and truly crossed. I wouldn't be able to look at meself in the mirror. Now fack off you perverted little japs eye!

Back in the mid 80's Terry Tibbs went on an all inclusive job to Benidorm. Now this is what a holiday is all about, Only Fools and Horses on the Telly in the Red Lion, Full English 3 times a day, a cornetto on the shingle beach. That's fackin living. One evening, Terry Tibbs decided to take a stroll along the sunset strip. After a few pinacolada's, Terry Tibbs got talking to a lovely Spanish looking girl, looked a lot like Aneka Rice. Tit's like a pair of fackin Aussie Rules footballs. Anyhow, turns out Catalina is actually a feller. This only aroused Terry Tibbs interest more so I takes him/her/it back to the apartment, fuck it silly for 3 hours, slip him/her/it a few peso's to fack off, anyway 3 weeks later - Genital Warts. Mrs. Tibbs hit the fackin roof.

Fackin shite.

Forget films I should have seen, here's one I fackin wish to high heaven I hadn't. One evening in the 70's, Terry Tibbs managed to get one of the first VCR's. Good times. So after a few in the dog and duck, me, Tommy Dickfingers and Banana Joe decided to go back to chateau Tibbs; a mock tudor mansion in Bethnal Green. Anywy, we sits down and Banana Joe suggests we watch a bluey. Why not I say. So he whips out this video, I'll never forget what it was called; "Assmaster 4, Widening of the sphincter." Anyway, I pour us a couple of brandies, pass around the cubans, because thats what Terry Tibbs does. Anyway, cut to the chase, what do I see? Only my fackin sister Tina getting spit roasted by two enourmous black men who look like Kris Akabusi and Cyril Regis on steroids. Furthermore, a third pasty looking cunt is jizzing on her fackin back. Whats worse, Dickfingers and Banana Joe are themselves enjoying a handshae with the minister of love C/O Terry Tibbs' Sister, in Terry Tibbs' fackin front room! Now nobody wants to see that do they?

Saabs, terrible cars son, terrible. I had one back in the late 80's, reminded me of a young Britney Spears, lovely body, good for a ride but after 2 or three years, the arse falls right out of them. Fackin Swedish sacks of shit. What the fack have the Swedes ever given us eh? The meatball? Ulrika Johnsson? Ikea? Fack Ikea, get me down MFI any day of the week. Fackin sand hair coloured cunts!

Fack me son, you will regret it. A few years ago Terry Tibbs ended up in a brothel in Clapham (no pun intended) with 2 Finish Birds called Sammi and Mixu Paatelainen. I swerved the Thai looking sorts because of previous problems encountered with them (see other thread, I'm not discussing them again.) A few weeks later I takes a piss and it feels like I'm pissing out razor blades. So Terry Tibbs gets himself down the GUM clinic. Anyways, I walk in, I sit down, the nurse says "Terry, can you come in here" I lie on the bed with my strides down, fack me she sticks a cocktail umbrella down my Japs. The pain was incredible and to cap it all off I've got a nice dose of Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis C. The Doctor described my Jacobs as a minefield. Bad times.

Terry Tibbs is eager to see these pictures. Fruit based tomfoolery around the snatch area get's him hot under the collar and as hard as Lenny Mc Lean.

Terry Tibbs used to be in a band back in the day: We gave ourselves and exotic sounding name; "The Chlamydia 5," and played around the pubs and clubs of London. Great little bass player I was, I played that bass all day and night. We advertised ourselves as a skiffle band but we also mixed it up with rock, rhythm and blues and German Techno, which, believe me, for the 60's was very ahead of it's time. The punters started to turn on us when our lead guitarist left and we replaced him with a Chinese lad called Brian. One night at a gig we got fackin mullered and decided after that to call it a day.