These Hipster Beards

[Section_31]

Seriously, what the fuck's going on? Can't remember the last time a student barman pulled me a pint without his fucking inverted pyramid face dangling into the glass, sullen expression also needs to be worn as standard too apparently.

 

If you're going to grow a beard grow a decent one, I'm talking either Will Riker, the General Maximuus - commander of the Felix legions - or the Yorkshire Ripper.

[raininblood]

Think they look quite good myself,also like the 'fixie' bikes they ride.Having had a beard on and off for the past 30 years, I reckon most men are scared to grow one,in the same way that they are scared of growing their hair long, vanity or don't like the piss taking who know's.

Each to his own is my mantra !

[Jairzinho]

Are they all supplemented with that haircut?

[Dr Nowt]

And tattoos, as though having selected a uniform.

[Jairzinho]

Ridiculous footwear also obligatory.

[Tony Moanero]

Ridiculous footwear also obligatory.

What kind shoes do they wear?

[Boss]

Are you talking about guys with thick beards, waxed moustaches and that haircut were the sides are shaved and they have that floppy bit combed back on top?

[Jairzinho]

Are you talking about guys with thick beards, waxed moustaches and that haircut were the sides are shaved and they have that floppy bit combed back on top?

 

Yes. Cunts.

[Jairzinho]

What kind shoes do they wear?

 

Plimsolls, bowling shoes, multi coloured hi tops, slippers, clogs, anything really that you could take a cursory glance at and determine that the wearer is indeed an absolute queef.

[Boss]

They are generally woodland creatures, usually found in nature, in forest clearings, foliage, or in organic ethical food stores. They tend to have a herd mentality, preferring to enter urban areas in packs. They crave the acceptance of their herd, but not the acceptance of others external to it, who they deem "unworthy". They preach about the destruction of consumerism whilst simultaneously giving their custom to Starbucks and buying their clothes in stores such as All saints.

[Bjornebye]

Skidfingers is one guilty forest dwelling queef. 

[RedKnight]

I love my beard. My faith was shaken slightly by RB14's critique of it but ultimately it's nearing the Daniel Bryan look.

[Ian Sea]

Beards are for peado's.

[Clem H Fandango]

[Paulie Dangerously]

I had a beard about 4 years ago and people took the piss. I've brought it back and people keep saying 'oh you've got s beard like everyone' no you slut. Everyone's got a fucking beard like ME

[Trumo]

Looking at that chart, I guess what I have is called a Soul Patch. Only mine is triangular not square like in that picture. It started out as a Van Dyke but I have too many greys and it made me look like a 7/7 bomber.

[Fugitive]

Mine varies from week to week. I aim for stubble but can never be arsed shaving so end up with a beard.

[General Dryness]

I have a scruffy hollywoodian right now. I'm also bald, so it looks like my head is on upside down.

[Remmie]

I have a Van Dyke

[Clem H Fandango]

Due to a recent bereavement i have accumalated a single and very noticeable grey hair in my stubble/beard. Its on the side of my chin. If i had a group of them in that area i would be tempted to grow them purely for comedic value.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

[Dr Nowt]

Closest to mine is the short boxed beard, becoming a straggly animal's pelt whenever I can't be fucked to maintain it.  Which is always.

 

Refuse to shave it off after all these years just because it's become de rigeur with the flock - it'll be deemed shite again by the beautful people soon enough and return to being the preserve of the lazy, scruffy, fashion dyslexic and homeless.

[Josef Svejk]

This is a beard:

 

 

 

This is a tosser:

 

[Section_31]

Let's just stow this beards patter right now, I'm not talking about proper beards, beards are ace, I'm talking about this shit.

 

 

Incorrect

 

 

 

Correct

 

[General Dryness]

This is a beard:

 

 

 

 

This is me in about 20 years time.