Depression

[TheSire]

4 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

The ADHD chatter in your head is often unbearable. It just won't stop. Blackout drinking for me was the only solution that worked. That caused its own issues. Exercise exercise exercise and going to bed fucked is the only alternative I've found.

The only natural thing for me is reasonably intense lifting or cardio but it has to be challenging. I can completely go into the zone and get tunnel vision like focus. Playing poker also has the same effect where I can focus entirely and on demand. But I have zero interest in betting etc, weird! I think its because its mentally challenging and it's a form of problem solving and I enjoy learning.

 

Medication was an absolute godsend though, I was amazed how you could feel both motivated and focused but calm at the same time. There will be millions in the UK alone who aren't diagnosed who have been on anti depressants etc for years with minimal improvement but awareness is now on the rise but then you have a massive backlog in diagnosis.

[TheHowieLama]

53 minutes ago, Fowlers God said:

Yes mate; if that's the badge I need to wear I am. 
I have issues with both alcohol and Cocaine, 

 

so socialising round bars and shit just really ain't for me anymore but appreciate it. 
 

I also snapped my ligaments and tendons in my ankle on January 5th 2020 playing the unmentionable and have been referred for MRI on my knee as doctor thinks I've snapped my ACL and PCL in my left knee so physical activity is well out for me atm. 
 

I manage to walk the dog twice and day and cook dinner and that's me done. 
 

not sure what the answer is but im glad I got that off my chest today as it was really eating me up

 

I was a world class drinker and gave it up cold. Now I can go to a bar - drink a fake beer in a glass or just tonic w/lime if you feel weird. No one will know the difference. That said there has to be a place that does a mocktail type vibe. If you are worried about sobriety that would be a better place to try to find company.

2 and a half years in, there is no reason to throw that away. Anything that is bad is never better when you are drunk. It may seem it for a fleeting few hours (or days for some), but you know it's not.

 

The knees throw a spanner in certain stuff but certainly you could still work out if you wanted. There is a guy in a chair at the gym. Fucker is ripped. Anyway, best.

[Poor Scouser T]

ADHD is misunderstood. For me it is just as likely to be hyper focus as attention deficit. When I was learning computer coding I'd sit at my computer and start and then look at the clock some time later and think fuck its 5am, when it was actually 5pm the day after I started.

[TheSire]

5 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

The hobby thing is interesting because thats me. I get so into something it is all that exists. All I think about all I do. And then its gone never to be done again.

Yeah you can become quite obsessive. It's a bit of a catch 22 really as it can be a good thing too. I think your typical person is steadier overall but those with ADHD tend to be all or nothing. If you have a knack for something though absolutely maximise it unless that's brutally murdering people.

[TheHowieLama]

7 hours ago, elvis said:

Anyone taking mertzapine? 

 

 

Did you start on that? Relative of mine is pretty well versed in anti-depressants and has chosen bupropion as it has less side effects.

Apparently they've cut back on mirtzapine use here, not sure if that is test driven or what. That's what I was told.

[Creator Supreme]

I'm up and down like a whore's drawers at the moment.

 

I'm still processing my parents both passing away, along with my worries about my kids, and the missus joint problems.

 

We're thinking strongly about relocating to the Scottish Highlands in the next year or so, as my son was a different person when we were up there for a week this year. Downside would be that my youngest doesn't really want to move, and my elder daughter has confirmed she would be remaining in Liverpool.

 

The lad isn't helping as he's not willing to engage with the process of selling our house if we do decide to move, not to mention he won't engage with getting any help with his issues.

 

All I can say to everybody else who's suffering is keep fighting. I just get through one day at a time, and some days it's a fucking struggle, but just keep moving.

[Poor Scouser T]

1 minute ago, Creator Supreme said:

I'm up and down like a whore's drawers at the moment.

 

I'm still processing my parents both passing away, along with my worries about my kids, and the missus joint problems.

 

We're thinking strongly about relocating to the Scottish Highlands in the next year or so, as my son was a different person when we were up there for a week this year. Downside would be that my youngest doesn't really want to move, and my elder daughter has confirmed she would be remaining in Liverpool.

 

The lad isn't helping as he's not willing to engage with the process of selling our house if we do decide to move, not to mention he won't engage with getting any help with his issues.

 

All I can say to everybody else who's suffering is keep fighting. I just get through one day at a time, and some days it's a fucking struggle, but just keep moving.

Need any advice about moving to the highlands drop me a line. Lived all over the place up there.

[TheSire]

2 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

ADHD is misunderstood. For me it is just as likely to be hyper focus as attention deficit. When I was learning computer coding I'd sit at my computer and start and then look at the clock some time later and think fuck its 5am, when it was actually 5pm the day after I started.

It's a poorly named condition really. It isn't a deficit of attention as such, in fact if anything it's the opposite. Your brain doesn't know how to prioritise so you get all the sensory input into the brain and this leads to distraction or feeling overwhelmed. I always wondered why I felt so jittery all the time, like I'd drank 50 coffees.

 

A good analogy I like is the idea of someone turning on 10 radios at once on different stations on full volume. You're trying to read or study etc and this internal monologue won't shut the fuck up. I used to get so fucking irritable and snappy if I was trying to concentrate and the telly was on in the background etc. Absolute childish rage. I do also see the funny side though, I prefer to try to laugh although that does sound so cliche. 

[Creator Supreme]

1 minute ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Need any advice about moving to the highlands drop me a line. Lived all over the place up there.

Cheers bud. We went to Nairn for the week and it was lovely. The elder daughter decided not to come so she doesn't know what she's missing.

 

The wife has family in Inverness and Lossiemouth, so we got to see around there a bit. I must admit I fell in love with the slower pace of life.

 

Whereabouts did you live up there?

[Poor Scouser T]

He nails it.

 

[Poor Scouser T]

3 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Cheers bud. We went to Nairn for the week and it was lovely. The elder daughter decided not to come so she doesn't know what she's missing.

 

The wife has family in Inverness and Lossiemouth, so we got to see around there a bit. I must admit I fell in love with the slower pace of life.

 

Whereabouts did you live up there?

Family home is up in the middle of nowhere out towards Durness. Basically Cape Wrath.

Got a flat bit north of Inverness and a place in Bootle I flit between depending on work. Bit of a contrast.

[TheSire]

2 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

He nails it.

 

What is sleep? 

 

Oh god, the brain decides 11pm is time to solve the problems of the universe. I literally can only sleep if I have a joint before bed. I've ALWAYS been that way even as a kid I'd suddenly feel awake and energised at night. So fucking annoying.

[Poor Scouser T]

17 minutes ago, TheSire said:

What is sleep? 

 

Oh god, the brain decides 11pm is time to solve the problems of the universe. I literally can only sleep if I have a joint before bed. I've ALWAYS been that way even as a kid I'd suddenly feel awake and energised at night. So fucking annoying.

What is the score with weed in Liverpool these days? Is it semi legal? My nephew was telling me there are essentially coffee shops about. Not been in town for ages. 

[TheSire]

13 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

What is the score with weed in Liverpool these days? Is it semi legal? My nephew was telling me there are essentially coffee shops about. Not been in town for ages. 

I don't think the police prioritise their resources around enforcing the law regarding weed. Maybe there's a few sneaky coffee shops dotted around then!

[Poor Scouser T]

I'll do a bit of digging. Would kill for a big lump of decent hash.

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Poor Scouser T said:

I'll do a bit of digging. Would kill for a big lump of decent hash.

 

Gummies - 10mg THC and 10mg CBD before bed. Set you right with a cup of this:

 

[Poor Scouser T]

6 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Gummies - 10mg THC and 10mg CBD before bed. Set you right with a cup of this:

 

Sounds good. Did get some online but don't like doing it.

[TheSire]

10 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

I'll do a bit of digging. Would kill for a big lump of decent hash.

There's a guy who drops off every day till about 8 and offers a decent bit of choice. I've used the darknet too and got quite a lot for a decent price. Really well packaged so no smell etc. 

[TheSire]

8 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Gummies - 10mg THC and 10mg CBD before bed. Set you right with a cup of this:

 

Heroin is great to relax, so I've heard.

[Poor Scouser T]

Just now, TheSire said:

There's a guy who drops off every day till about 8 and offers a decent bit of choice. I've used the darknet too and got quite a lot for a decent price. Really well packaged so no smell etc. 

Yeah. I got a load of trim and a bit of hash to try. Not great but spose you get what you pay for.

[Poor Scouser T]

1 minute ago, TheSire said:

Heroin is great to relax, so I've heard.

Heard its a bit moreish.

[A Red]

12 hours ago, Fowlers God said:

Yes mate; if that's the badge I need to wear I am. 
I have issues with both alcohol and Cocaine, 

 

so socialising round bars and shit just really ain't for me anymore but appreciate it. 
 

I also snapped my ligaments and tendons in my ankle on January 5th 2020 playing the unmentionable and have been referred for MRI on my knee as doctor thinks I've snapped my ACL and PCL in my left knee so physical activity is well out for me atm. 
 

I manage to walk the dog twice and day and cook dinner and that's me done. 
 

not sure what the answer is but im glad I got that off my chest today as it was really eating me up

Sorry, I didn't read the stuff you put previously, I should have before going blundering in.

 

I would say, as mentioned before, you can still go to the gym just do sitting down weights and machines. I would suggest relatively low weights but high repetitions as this will at least give you some cardio. Keep on with the doctors and get your ankle and knee sorted asap, I snapped my quadricep tendon behind my left knee a few years ago and I'm back playing the unmentionable. Make sorting this out a top goal.

 

I would look to get out of the house as much as possible and would certainly look at volunteering somewhere, anything that gets you out meeting people.

 

Anyone with addictions that can go as long as you have whilst holding down a job but going through marriage problems is made of stern stuff. Use that strength to move on from just about coping to living a happy life, you can definitely do it.

[skend04]

15 hours ago, Elite said:

This isn't anything groundbreaking that will instantly cure your depression but find something you like to do and do it every day, whether that be art, music, gaming or whatever but make sure you actually like it. Then no matter what else is going on in your life, you at least get some escapism everyday and a bit of routine.

 

Life is pretty shit and we are all just surviving, with no idea why we were even born but there are pockets of happiness out there, you've just got to ride it out until you find them. 

 

 

 

Good advice. Just getting out and enrolling in an art class or drama or anything like that will help with that feeling of isolation or loneliness. 

[Poor Scouser T]

Try yoga. Low impact and good stretching. And bored middle aged women drooling over you.

[Fowlers God]

4 hours ago, A Red said:

Sorry, I didn't read the stuff you put previously, I should have before going blundering in.

 

I would say, as mentioned before, you can still go to the gym just do sitting down weights and machines. I would suggest relatively low weights but high repetitions as this will at least give you some cardio. Keep on with the doctors and get your ankle and knee sorted asap, I snapped my quadricep tendon behind my left knee a few years ago and I'm back playing the unmentionable. Make sorting this out a top goal.

 

I would look to get out of the house as much as possible and would certainly look at volunteering somewhere, anything that gets you out meeting people.

 

Anyone with addictions that can go as long as you have whilst holding down a job but going through marriage problems is made of stern stuff. Use that strength to move on from just about coping to living a happy life, you can definitely do it.

Thanks mate and no worries at all. 
 

your last paragraph is what's really getting to me at the moment though about how I feel internally. 
I'm made of fucking nails really going through everything I have in the last 6yrs but the feelings of having no mates and being alone is really weighing me down. 
 

funnily enough I have old peoples apartments next door to me and I'm thinking of asking if I can play some board games etc with the residents to keep me occupied