Someone obscure you'd like to crane kick

[YorkshireRed]

My postman. He’s a young, handsome, friendly, bastard.
 

The wife enjoys watching him saunter down our garden path and sprints to the door, like a female Usain Bolt, if he needs something signing for. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Some cunt who was on his phone trying to but a vape at Nice airport yesterday.  Fella in the shop couldn't have been more patient. Not a single attempt at a French syllable, "vape, vape, watermelon, vape" no please, no thank you. Just fuck off. 

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Any Brit I encounter in Majorca next week. 

[redinblack]

A bloke who used to go in the Norton Arms in Runcorn a few years ago. If you got in early on the Sunday evening it would just be the landlord on duty, then just after 7 the barmaids would arrive together. Every week, without fail, this bloke would shout "here's the strippers" and look round inviting us to admire his wit. Cunt.

[RJ Fan club]

13 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

This cunt

 

 

On those George Clarke prorammes. Hackney looking twat. Whiney voice that makes Jools Holland sound like Barry White. Also his whiney voice now pops up in shitty tv and radio adverts that are annoyingly twee.

 

Oh, and any Nathan Barley type twat from Hackney.

I did some work with him about 18 months ago, a nicer bloke you could not meet.

 

He’s exactly the sort of tv design celeb I’d normally despise, but quite honestly he was sound. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

42 minutes ago, Skidfingers McGonical said:

Any Brit I encounter in Majorca next week. 

I went majorca a few weeks ago. Everybody was Scottish to the point it was weird.

[Mook]

12 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Some horrible arl cunt at the match who sat not far from me a few times in the Main Stand.

 

Would queue jump when trying to get a pint and thought he was hilarious after waiting for 5 minutes for a hot dog to the young girl serving him "Fucking hell love, I ordered my hot dog when it was a pig" and not one person laughed. 

 

My mate had a run in with him at the Lion in Tithebarn Street when my mate was waiting to get served he just pushed in and shouted his order to the bar staff, completely ignoring everyone. My mate had to be held back by two other fellas as he was desperate to twat him. 

 

Off topic but I've always wondered how you pronounce the name of that street?

[Guest]

Elvis Presley, to see if he really can do Kung Fu.

[Harry Squatter]

41 minutes ago, Mook said:

 

Off topic but I've always wondered how you pronounce the name of that street?

Thy-barn Street. Some people also say Thyve-barn as well.

 

Some Arab fella asked me for directions to there as there is a Travelodge on that road and said "Titheybarn street"

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, redinblack said:

A bloke who used to go in the Norton Arms in Runcorn a few years ago. If you got in early on the Sunday evening it would just be the landlord on duty, then just after 7 the barmaids would arrive together. Every week, without fail, this bloke would shout "here's the strippers" and look round inviting us to admire his wit. Cunt.

Sorry about that. I was actually hoping that one week they'd take the hint!

[Mook]

20 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Thy-barn Street. Some people also say Thyve-barn as well.

 

Some Arab fella asked me for directions to there as there is a Travelodge on that road and said "Titheybarn street"

 

Thanks.

 

He was probably there trying to tap up one of our players.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Maxwell Marlow of the Adam Smith Institute is on telly right now and he's the most Tory-looking gobshite I've ever seen.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

 

Off topic but I've always wondered how you pronounce the name of that street?

Pretty much as it's written: tithe barn.

[halewood pete]

I reckon tie-barn

[Harry's Lad]

I've always pronounced it Tythebarn. I don't recall anyone saying it different tbh.

[cloggypop]

9 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I've always pronounced it Tythebarn

 

Same here

[magicrat]

1 hour ago, Harry Squatter said:

Thy-barn Street. Some people also say Thyve-barn as well.

 

Some Arab fella asked me for directions to there as there is a Travelodge on that road and said "Titheybarn street"

Hope you directed him to Kitty’s 

[VladimirIlyich]

A tithe was a tax towards the clergy. Just add 'barn' to the end.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

21 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

A tithe was a tax towards the clergy. Just add 'barn' to the end.

Often paid in kind by farmers giving a part of their produce, hence the need for a barn.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

10 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

I did some work with him about 18 months ago, a nicer bloke you could not meet.

 

He’s exactly the sort of tv design celeb I’d normally despise, but quite honestly he was sound. 

 

Just crushed my ambition in one post there, mate.

[Section_31]

H from Steps. After I landed the kick the rest of the group would have to be pulled away by their security detail and I'd be giving them the Billy Batts come on and saying "don't get nervous, Steps aren't gonna break up my fuckin party."

[ZonkoVille77]

Ronan Keating, the life is a roller coaster bore-fest. 

[Colt Seavers]

 

These 2 cunts

[Bruce Spanner]

Nearly got into a proper fight with a smack head on the train last night. He was being a clown and causing a scene so I told him to fucking sit down and shut up, I was a bit pissed.

 

Anyhows he obviously takes offence at this and says something along the lines of ‘I’ll rip you throat out in a minute’ I tell him he would have done it already if he had any chance of doing so and it’s probably best for all concerned that he shuts up and fucks off.

 

He then starts on some nonsense about his uncles funeral and I just stare him down until he stops. He’s realised at this point that I’m bigger than him, stronger than him and now I’m fucking furious as well.

 

He calls the train guard and tells the guard I’ve been picking on him and he wants an apology! 

 

The train guard, poor guy, honestly said are you willing to apologise?

 

I replied ‘Don’t be fucking soft’ and had this weird stand off where a clearly now ‘sober’ smack rat had realised I wasn’t backing down and actually wanted to kick his head in.

 

Should have crane kicked the cunt into rehab.

[KMD7]

15 hours ago, Skidfingers McGonical said:

Any Brit I encounter in Majorca next week.