Toilets

[Bjornebye]

I'm gonna cum 

[Remmie]

5 hours ago, rb14 said:

Bumguns are a great Aldi-esque alternative. They double up as a cheapo-toilet-pan-skiddy blaster. 

 

You'll be very much more pleasederer when you bite the two hundred odd knicker bullet and get your Flory. Warm botty cheeks, no whiff and a sparkling, hot-air-dried dirtbox. 

How does it know where your rusty sheriff's badge is and what the correct trajectory is? Has it got some kind of tracking mechanism? 

[Herp McDerp]

7 minutes ago, Remmie said:

How does it know where your rusty sheriff's badge is and what the correct trajectory is? Has it got some kind of tracking mechanism? 

 

Controls are on the side of the toilet bowl. You can adjust the location, power, temperature and even oscillation of the water jet. It's some star trek level shit.

[Remmie]

11 minutes ago, Herp McDerp said:

 

Controls are on the side of the toilet bowl. You can adjust the location, power, temperature and even oscillation of the water jet. It's some star trek level shit.

I suppose you better get that first aim right unless you want par boiled knackers, but what a time to be alive 

[Remmie]

Are there modes to give a buff and polish to your dirty inch? Clockweight cleanse? 

[VladimirIlyich]

Sounds way too complicated to have a shit in Japan. Why arent people shitting in the streets? I would be!

[Mudface]

Far too complicated all this, just wipe until the paper turns red, like real men.

[Karl_b]

How compatible are they with the "Slater"?

[Preston Red]

I have a sponge for cleaning my crap snapper.

 

If I'm at home and I'm having a mucky dump, I get in the shower and rinse off any loose heavy mud before giving it a good scrub. Since changing my diet though, I've been laying "one-wiper" cables but I still give my arse a scrub in the shower after a day of welding.

[rb14]

2 hours ago, Herp McDerp said:

 

Controls are on the side of the toilet bowl. You can adjust the location, power, temperature and even oscillation of the water jet. It's some star trek level shit.

This is all correct. The Toto has a remote, the Flory has them on the side. 

 

1 hour ago, Remmie said:

Are there modes to give a buff and polish to your dirty inch? Clockweight cleanse? 

Minor alterations in one's seating position can probably take account of this. 

 

37 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

How compatible are they with the "Slater"?

I've not tried this lunacy. But see my previous answer. Additionally, they have a front-bottom cleanse function for women's skanky bits as well as the non-gender-specific back-botty cleanse. I'm guessing the Slaterers can use the front-bottom function. 

 

8 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

I have a sponge for cleaning my crap snapper.

 

If I'm at home and I'm having a mucky dump, I get in the shower and rinse off any loose heavy mud before giving it a good scrub. Since changing my diet though, I've been laying "one-wiper" cables but I still give my arse a scrub in the shower after a day of welding.

How much effort? Fuck that for a game of tennis. That's why these were invented. 

[Preston Red]

1 hour ago, rb14 said:

How much effort? Fuck that for a game of tennis. That's why these were invented. 

Only takes a minute tops. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Preston Red said:

I have a sponge for cleaning my crap snapper.

 

If I'm at home and I'm having a mucky dump, I get in the shower and rinse off any loose heavy mud before giving it a good scrub. Since changing my diet though, I've been laying "one-wiper" cables but I still give my arse a scrub in the shower after a day of welding.

Re-usable?

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, Karl_b said:

How compatible are they with the "Slater"?

Three pages before THE question gets asked.

[Preston Red]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Re-usable?

Well rinsed to shift any bum confetti.

 

It's also known as the sponge of a thousand horrors in our house and the wife knows to steer clear of it.

[Harry's Lad]

I don't know about Toto's or Flory's, but a fucking Karcher wouldn't have sorted my hoop out this morning after last nights ruby and copious amounts of beer.

Straight in the shower for a good scrub. Thought about using her loofah for extra exfoliation but decided not to fearing a red raw ringpiece. 

[Barrington Womble]

16 hours ago, Herp McDerp said:

I've spent a few months there and aside from the food the toilets are honestly what I miss most about the place. You hairless freaks have no idea how much of an ordeal a simple visit to the toilet can be sometimes.

 

 

@Bjornebye this was in every hotel I stayed in but I was there in 2017 & 2019, maybe things were different pre Y2K with people being terrified of terminator style toilets.

 

I first went to Japan in 1999 and they had them then. 

[neko]

[Jennings]

I basically shit out massive brown crayons. There simply isn't enough loo roll in the world.

[dockers_strike]

4 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

I don't know about Toto's or Flory's, but a fucking Karcher wouldn't have sorted my hoop out this morning after last nights ruby and copious amounts of beer.

Straight in the shower for a good scrub. Thought about using her loofah for extra exfoliation but decided not to fearing a red raw ringpiece. 

Awesome. Sounds like you had some follow though?!

[Harry's Lad]

2 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Awesome. Sounds like you had some follow though?!

Thankfully not. Just one of those unwipeable arses. Won't be getting a curry from there again, fucking crucified me all night.