rb14

Today in the garden, I was deciding whether to remove a weed from the cistus. It's tricky because the weed is in purple flower and looks fab. I'll probably leave it until it starts to fade. Aaaaanyway... ...I saw what looked like a bee with a ball of white on its head. Closer inspection revealed what I can only describe as a crab-like thing. The bee wasn't moving and the crab thing was clearly aware of my proximity, moving to the further side of the flower, each time I moved. A bit of googling gave me the answer. The white thing is a crab spider. It's a female and rather than spinning webs to catch prey, they simply ambush unsuspecting insects, some far larger than themselves. They inject venom to incapacitate their dinner, the venom also serving to slowly dissolve the insect's internal organs to make an easily digestible meal. It was very tricky to capture with me moby, but here's a couple that give you an idea.

Repped for jaunty angle.

Mac'n'cheese. Seriously? If you mean macaroni cheese, fine. Mac'n'cheese? No. Just no. Mac'n'cheese. Jeeeeeez.

When we bought this place, we had an abomination conservatory removed. The builders were reinstating the stone patio. One said "do you want us to clear all these weeds mate?" He was talking about the area where I took the pic (in my post above) with the campanula and sweet peas. Some of the best stuff just arrives. We've never planted a sweet pea, campanula or daisy. Check this out next to the potting shed. We didn't put it there. I just mow the lawns, strim the edges (carefully - we have slow worms here and they're absolutely awesome), shape me bushy stuff and prune (generally too hard) when stuff gets out of control. I'm like a two-stroke engine addict, quelle surprise. Mr rb14 is the "right I'm off to the garden centre" where he'll buy 140 knickers' worth of plants, stuff them into my car - yes even on the leather seats; you've NO idea - dig most, if not all in and then announce he's off to the gym leaving all the tools out for me to find days later. Those that take, happy days. Those that don't, he'll rip out and start again. Nah, we're just happy infrequently faffing around in the garden. We're not any good at it; between us we just kind of firefight our way through. We encourage the stuff we like. We used to watch Gardeners' World religiously, and that perhaps gave us some decent guidance. Maybe start there? See the poppies currently blooming? When the seed heads mature, going brown and hard, gently snap a few off and store them somewhere dry. As summer turns towards autumn, you can walk round the borders gently shaking the tiny seeds out like a pepper mill. Some will take and you'll have poppies all over before long. Free. Also works with aquilegia and countless other perennials. Poppy seed heads... One thing you absolutely MUST do, particularly when you're planting out stuff from the nursery/Tesco/the corner shop. WATER WATER WATER. You have to give plants the best possible chance to take in their new home.

Loving the grasses - and the scarlet valerian in the second pic. Valerian is like a cat; it goes where it wants.

It's a frog. Surely it's doing a Misty Mountain Hop?

He's proper coming round to visit like six or seven times a day. Weirdo. Kitchen now...

Yours are sooooo much further on than ours. Where are you?

Having checked out how our garden grows, it's into the dining room for an Archie love-in. Why do they like to roly-poly out of arms' reach? And then it's time for a bit of self-rimming. What's with the leg? "Because I can." "I am NOT self-rimming, how dare you."

I love our wild campanula, daisies and sweet peas. And it seems Archie approves as well.

I'd keep Matip or Gomez in front of Nat without hesitation. That is of course assuming they can play more than ten games a season without getting crocked. I'll keep Nat thank you very much. Gomez and Matip can fuck off.

Erm road? It's a bit like asking what a tree is made of. Erm tree? Roads are most commonly made of small stone chippings mixed with Tarmac. Pavements are commonly made with paving slabs.

... Top of all Americans who say math. And, weirdly, the road.

Sidewok really pisses me off. It's a pavement dickheads. Pavements get walked on. They're not sidewoks, never have been, never will be. It really grinds my gears. Which coincidentally is an americanism I really like.

Math. Fucking math. Fuck. Off.