rb14

"someone will eventually end up being hit for three or four by (Salah), probably Fulham next week" Oh FFS. Fulham now nailed on for our second defeat of the season. But in fairness, you're right about Alisson's booking. Utterly disgraceful. I was almost choking on my (surprisingly good) hospitality full english. I've truly never seen anything like that. Unbelievable. The booking that is, not the full english. Oh and Adam Lallana. Superb performance. MOM before half time.

Confirming my point. You could just have said "fair enough" or something. Better to have another pop eh?

Are you really taking that seriously, or just a fucking knob? Seriously, this sort of reply is why I am getting properly disillusioned with TLW.

Really? You sure about that? Without thinking about it too much I offer you Exhibit 1989.

"Maybe that’s because I was a lazy, infuriating twat..." Just struggling with the "was". I too was terrified by this fixture (fair to say I'm terrified by all fixtures now, but this was supersize terrifying) so I think it was a brilliant three points. Keita a fucking waste of space. We were playing with 10 men as long as that streak of shite was on the pitch. And notable that your only mention of Fabinho was his substitution. He was poor at Brighton and I remain completely unconvinced by him after Saturday's non-performance. In fact, despite playing midfield on Saturday, his game plan was exactly the same as it had been the weekend before at Brighton when he was right centre half: receive the ball, pass it to Virge. Get the ball again, pass it to Virge. Almost as woeful as Keita. Millie did a brilliant job of trying to contain the world-class Zaha and yet being about our most creative attacker. He desperately needed Fabinho to give him additional protection but it rarely came. Mo was brilliant. He could have been considered for your starman rating you know. When we went 2-1 up, the fella next to me said "Dangerous score 2-1 you know". My reply was "Not as dangerous as 2-2." Should have kept my trap shut. Am I alone in wanting to kick Hendo's fucking teeth in? Will he NEVER FUCKING SHOOT? You want to be Stevie Gerrard but you won't shoot. The opportunities and time on the ball in perfect positions he gets every fucking game and he WILL NOT SHOOT. I swear, if I were the oppo and he got the ball anywhere near the D, I'd send every player away from him and tell my keeper to queue up for a latte coz tthe one place IT WILL NOT GO is towards the goal. Jesus you dick, fucking fire it at the target a couple of times a game. The world won't collapse when you miss, you know. Christ. Sorry not to pop over before the game, but we were a bit last-minute-Larry arriving and I had to choose between some deeply forgettable free hospitality scran, or saying hi to you, Joolz and the rest. It was never in question.

Liverpool penalty at Old Trafford. Comedy genius.

Couldn't belive MOTD singled him out for praise this evening. For me he was almost certainly our weakest player against Brighton. He seemed nervous and spent almost the entire game passing it to VVD five metres away. The other two successful pass completions were to Gini who was three metres away. I was waiting for two things in that match: Fabinho making a royal cock-up to concede a goal for the draw; or Friend stiffing us again (again again). Speaking to a few of their supporters after the game, they reckon the only team Friend hates more than Liverpool is them!

One missed penno at Anfield. Who'd have thought it? Still don't think it even was a penno. Amazing last few games. Everton, Burnley and Bournemouth. Sounds like nothing but I was not happy going in to any of them. Banana skins all three. To come out the other side with 9 points is totally boss. But the shite next weekend? I think I'll wear all my rainbow gear if we give them the battering we're capable of. But needless to say, I'm fucking terrified. And as for Mo and his stares? I saw none of that and it sounds at best unsavoury. It best not be about being subbed the other week coz he's been close to gash at times this season. Bobby too.

Details. Nobody cares about the week's report. The whole of the western world awaits your Bournemouth report. You can post it on here right after you post my t-shirt.

And there was me thinking the Bournemouth report might be first up. I'll check again a week on Wednesday.

Awesome words regarding the banana. Absolutely spot on. "Football has far less problems with racism than society does, and one fucking scumbag doesn't represent Spurs." Back of the net.

That fella has posted other sting/bite vids, one of which is being bitten by a giant centipede. Oh. My. Goodness. In Thailand years ago, I was bitten on my foot by one of those fuckers. I can honestly say that had someone given me the choice, I'd have cut my leg off. 36 hours of living hell. Truly truly grim.

I only get one? How cum?

Quite right about the donations as a percentage of income Dave. I've been on about that for donkeys years and you're right to call them out. The answer is simple; make a sizeable donation anonymously. Same big deal can be made of it, but no personal glory. How hard can that be? There's nothing glorious about being a benefactor if you're doing it to be Billy Big Bollocks. It's great like, whoopydo, but - as you say - in no way is it greater than someone on the bones of their arse giving a tenner.

First Man. I rate it 9/10. Mr rb14 rates it 5/10.