Who would win in a fight between two tigers and a zoo keeper?

[Bjornebye]

Yeah fuck pissing a cat off. Proper dickheads

[Juniper]

I reckon I could knock out a Tiger.

 

Fucking Pussy's.

[Pony Princess]

Cats are shithouse sneaky bastards. You wouldn't stand a chance. Don't antagonise the little bastard.

 

He's a lovable little knobhead but you know if he had the chance he would do me off in my sleep and raid the tuna in the fridge. My family would kick the door down after about a month of me vanishing and find me dead and rancid on the couch, him chewing on my foot like it was a smoked mackerel.

[lifetime fan]

Dogs > cats.

[Pony Princess]

I actually prefer dogs to cats, but I like animals generally. Cats are fine. I live alone (happily, urgh inb4 lonely and angry) and it would be unfair to have a dog. My cat is a total bro, he isn't a replacement baby or anything which people seem to think about cat owners. He's a pyar dickhead furry thing who lives in my house and always brings a smile to my face when I get home because he is ace and a total mong. He is really in tune with my day to day life and just generally hangs round, wants to spend time with me and is a great buddy.

[lifetime fan]

Got a dog and two cats mate and I really like the cats now, just prefer the dog.

[lifetime fan]

He's a lovable little knobhead but you know if he had the chance he would do me off in my sleep and raid the tuna in the fridge. My family would kick the door down after about a month of me vanishing and find me dead and rancid on the couch, him chewing on my foot like it was a smoked mackerel.

 

 

This.

 

A dog would die with you, a cat would eat you.

[Pony Princess]

This.

 

A dog would die with you, a cat would eat you.

 

To be fair, I've been taking care of myself the last 6 months and I do look pretty delicious.

[lifetime fan]

To be fair, I've been taking care of myself the last 6 months and I do look pretty delicious.

 

 

But smell like smoke mackerel?

 

You sure you aint been with a squirter?

[Pony Princess]

But smell like smoke mackerel?

 

You sure you aint been with a squirter?

 

Pretty sure I don't smell like that, but I'm chilling out sipping a beer and my cat is looking at me like I am some sort of walking meal. Bit scared.

[zigackly]

He's probably after the beer.

[Lee909]

I'd like to see a tag team match

 

Man + Monkey with knife vs Tiger + Bear

[mattyq]

I actually prefer dogs to cats, but I like animals generally. Cats are fine. I live alone (happily, urgh inb4 lonely and angry) and it would be unfair to have a dog. My cat is a total bro, he isn't a replacement baby or anything which people seem to think about cat owners. He's a pyar dickhead furry thing who lives in my house and always brings a smile to my face when I get home because he is ace and a total mong. He is really in tune with my day to day life and just generally hangs round, wants to spend time with me and is a great buddy.

 

That is a great description of having an ace pet.

[Anubis]

Just looking at my cat now and saying to him 'you are related to tigers, you know?' but he's just licking his ball-less sack and making daft noises.

 

Having a cat is like living with a time-bomb. I reckon if his feral nature took hold and he attacked me, I could take him as long as it is a fair 1-on-1, no shithouse moves.

 

You shouldn't have talked to your cat about tbe incident or let it watch the news. I wouldn't sleep in the same house as it tonight if I were you.

[Anubis]

EDL are planning a march past knowsley safari park on tuesday.

 

3 arrested trying to burn down a Cat Protection League charity shop in retaliation.

[Pony Princess]

You shouldn't have talked to your cat about tbe incident or let it watch the news. I wouldn't sleep in the same house as it tonight if I were you.

 

I'm gonna lock him in the kitchen tonight. It isn't worth taking the risk. I'm going to put the knives in the front room obviously, well out of reach from him.

[janmolby]

We should all show restraint and not jump to any conclusions about tigers being carnivorous animals.

[Anubis]

I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the mongs over at The S*n who, in keeping with their general policy of being the most tasteless cunts on the planet, have unearthed a picture of Sarah McClay (the keeper) done up in feline facepaint and wearing cat ears, and have published it on the internet and probably in their shitrag (it comes up on Google image search before you ask). I'm sure her family are moved.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Daily Express have done the same.

[The Acolyte]

I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the mongs over at The S*n who, in keeping with their general policy of being the most tasteless cunts on the planet, have unearthed a picture of Sarah McClay (the keeper) done up in feline facepaint and wearing cat ears, and have published it on the internet and probably in their shitrag (it comes up on Google image search before you ask). I'm sure her family are moved.

 

Hope the family take them to the cleaners

[Joe Le Taxi]

[TheBitch]

Shame. She looks alright in that pic.

[Bjornebye]

Can't wait till they do the post Morton and find she has been spiked with cat nip. Randy bitch.

 

Tragic though, I actually hope it's suicide. What a way to go. Rip etc

 

Newspaper cunts

[Champ]

Did anyone know she is Scottish? Me neither...until I clicked on the Scottish news on the beeb website. They're unbelievable for finding a Scottish link to just about any news story going.

[Anubis]

Did anyone know she is Scottish? Me neither...until I clicked on the Scottish news on the beeb website. They're unbelievable for finding a Scottish link to just about any news story going.

 

Ah, well, that explains it. She was obviously very, very drunk when she decided to go and cuddle the tigers. A pity there was no traffic cone adound to distract her.