The world of a woman.

[Captain Turdseye]

Hungover from 1 bottle? What is the world coming to?

By the time I went to bed she'd sobered up a bit and went down to make a brew.

 

Turns out it was me that had a rough night. Got no sleep, I'm on wobbly legs and aching all over. A rubbish combo of MS symptoms. She's right as rain today and I'm ill.

 

Karma.

[Captain Turdseye]

It's almost as bad as that time I posted in the rant thread about her 'having a headache' and not putting out the night before. Then a few minutes later she told me was pregnant.

[Evelyn Tentions]

Well they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

No, it's absinthe.

[Mook]

I had to get up at 5am this morning for a flight to London, I got to the airport & sent her a quick message to say the cat would need fed & I hope her day goes ok.

 

The response, "Thanks for waking me & the baby up this morning, I have nothing better than having to look after a crying baby when I'm getting ready for work, blah blah blah.". Apparently I opened a door & turned a light on, can you imagine?

 

Fucking hell, sorry for having to get up at stupid o'clock to go to the fucking airport so I can pay our mortgage.

 

The flight was cancelled too & I had to sit in the airport with my fucking boss making her hilarious, 'Fancy getting a pint' quips for two hours.

 

Fucking women.

[Scottish Steve]

I was cooking dinner the other night and it involved boiling some rice. My wife has this weird notion that I can't be trusted to drain the rice without spilling water everywhere so insisted I left it for her to drain (I'm a vet and have performed various surgical procedures but can't be trusted with a saucepan, go figure).

 

So I switched it off at the hob and kept what was in the frying pan ticking away at a low heat. A couple of times I intonated that dinner was ready and she that she could do with sorting the rice and I was told not to fuss. Minutes passed as she flitted around doing fuck all, moaning that I hadn't put out cutlery, got drinks ready, she randomly topped up the dog's water bowl even though the thing was fast asleep and about as far from dehydration as physically possible.

 

Eventually she decides she's ready to serve up and roughly grabs the saucepan, slopping water everywhere. 'What the...' she goes, 'did you not drain it or even think to say it needed doing!'. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

[Dougie Do'ins]

I was cooking dinner the other night and it involved boiling some rice. My wife has this weird notion that I can't be trusted to drain the rice without spilling water everywhere so insisted I left it for her to drain (I'm a vet and have performed various surgical procedures but can't be trusted with a saucepan, go figure).

 

So I switched it off at the hob and kept what was in the frying pan ticking away at a low heat. A couple of times I intonated that dinner was ready and she that she could do with sorting the rice and I was told not to fuss. Minutes passed as she flitted around doing fuck all, moaning that I hadn't put out cutlery, got drinks ready, she randomly topped up the dog's water bowl even though the thing was fast asleep and about as far from dehydration as physically possible.

 

Eventually she decides she's ready to serve up and roughly grabs the saucepan, slopping water everywhere. 'What the...' she goes, 'did you not drain it or even think to say it needed doing!'. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

Getting her midday meal at night ? No wonder she was in a mood.

[cloggypop]

I see Mook's boss is trying to get him drunk and take advantage of him again.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I was cooking dinner the other night and it involved boiling some rice. My wife has this weird notion that I can't be trusted to drain the rice without spilling water everywhere so insisted I left it for her to drain (I'm a vet and have performed various surgical procedures but can't be trusted with a saucepan, go figure).

 

So I switched it off at the hob and kept what was in the frying pan ticking away at a low heat. A couple of times I intonated that dinner was ready and she that she could do with sorting the rice and I was told not to fuss. Minutes passed as she flitted around doing fuck all, moaning that I hadn't put out cutlery, got drinks ready, she randomly topped up the dog's water bowl even though the thing was fast asleep and about as far from dehydration as physically possible.

 

Eventually she decides she's ready to serve up and roughly grabs the saucepan, slopping water everywhere. 'What the...' she goes, 'did you not drain it or even think to say it needed doing!'. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

 

I'm guessing you'll be inundated with questions after revealing that. 

[lifetime fan]

I had to get up at 5am this morning for a flight to London, I got to the airport & sent her a quick message to say the cat would need fed & I hope her day goes ok.

 

The response, "Thanks for waking me & the baby up this morning, I have nothing better than having to look after a crying baby when I'm getting ready for work, blah blah blah.". Apparently I opened a door & turned a light on, can you imagine?

 

Fucking hell, sorry for having to get up at stupid o'clock to go to the fucking airport so I can pay our mortgage.

 

The flight was cancelled too & I had to sit in the airport with my fucking boss making her hilarious, 'Fancy getting a pint' quips for two hours.

 

Fucking women.

Should have said yes.

[Mook]

Should have said yes.

 

Having a pint & then having to go & sit in an office for 8 hours is not my idea of fun.

 

It was that shitty humour when someone goes to the coffee machine at work, "I'll have a vodka, ha ha ha.".

 

There is no vodka in a coffee machine so how's about I just get some boiling hot water & throw it in your face you tedious cunt.

[lifetime fan]

You love her really.

[Elite]

You love her really.

He's deffo had a few sly wanks over her.

[Bob]

He's deffo had a few sly wanks over her.

I have.

[VladimirIlyich]

Having a pint & then having to go & sit in an office for 8 hours is not my idea of fun.

 

It was that shitty humour when someone goes to the coffee machine at work, "I'll have a vodka, ha ha ha.".

 

There is no vodka in a coffee machine so how's about I just get some boiling hot water & throw it in your face you tedious cunt.

Please get it nailed as the sexual tension is jumping out of your posts.

[Chris]

I was cooking dinner the other night and it involved boiling some rice. My wife has this weird notion that I can't be trusted to drain the rice without spilling water everywhere so insisted I left it for her to drain (I'm a vet and have performed various surgical procedures but can't be trusted with a saucepan, go figure).

 

So I switched it off at the hob and kept what was in the frying pan ticking away at a low heat. A couple of times I intonated that dinner was ready and she that she could do with sorting the rice and I was told not to fuss. Minutes passed as she flitted around doing fuck all, moaning that I hadn't put out cutlery, got drinks ready, she randomly topped up the dog's water bowl even though the thing was fast asleep and about as far from dehydration as physically possible.

 

Eventually she decides she's ready to serve up and roughly grabs the saucepan, slopping water everywhere. 'What the...' she goes, 'did you not drain it or even think to say it needed doing!'. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

 

Why are you draining rice? You cook it with a certain amount of water for a certain amount of time and there should be no water left when it's ready. No wonder she's pissed off.

[Elite]

Why are you draining rice? You cook it with a certain amount of water for a certain amount of time and there should be no water left when it's ready. No wonder she's pissed off.

Get a load of Marco Pierre White over here

[Lee909]

He's right though

[ZonkoVille77]

Why are you draining rice? You cook it with a certain amount of water for a certain amount of time and there should be no water left when it's ready. No wonder she's pissed off.

Is correct. Any other way and you are as bad as Pol Pot

[Captain Turdseye]

He's right though

I usually just tear the corner of the packet and pop it in the microwave for two minutes. Saves all the piss arsing about.

[Lee909]

I usually just tear the corner of the packet and pop it in the microwave for two minutes. Saves all the piss arsing about.

One of my mates would kill you fir using them.

[Alan Sex]

One of my mates would kill you fir using them.

My Uncle Ben swears by them.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

They cost a packet though

[General Dryness]

I was cooking dinner the other night and it involved boiling some rice. My wife has this weird notion that I can't be trusted to drain the rice without spilling water everywhere so insisted I left it for her to drain (I'm a vet and have performed various surgical procedures but can't be trusted with a saucepan, go figure).

 

So I switched it off at the hob and kept what was in the frying pan ticking away at a low heat. A couple of times I intonated that dinner was ready and she that she could do with sorting the rice and I was told not to fuss. Minutes passed as she flitted around doing fuck all, moaning that I hadn't put out cutlery, got drinks ready, she randomly topped up the dog's water bowl even though the thing was fast asleep and about as far from dehydration as physically possible.

 

Eventually she decides she's ready to serve up and roughly grabs the saucepan, slopping water everywhere. 'What the...' she goes, 'did you not drain it or even think to say it needed doing!'. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

You're a vet so you're no doubt loaded (I'm basing this off our vets prices, the robbing cunts).

 

Next time you're swimming in your pile of gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck, grab a few and go and buy a rice cooker. Saves a load of hassle. It goes bing when the rice is done. Good times.

[Furmedge]

You're a vet so you're no doubt loaded (I'm basing this off our vets prices, the robbing cunts).

 

Next time you're swimming in your pile of gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck, grab a few and go and buy a rice cooker. Saves a load of hassle. It goes bing when the rice is done. Good times.

Yeah but his username suggests he doesn't like spending money.

[Nunavut Patrick]

I'm guessing you'll be inundated with questions after revealing that.

Going to ask him if my Chesapeake/Black Lab is immortal. I am convinced he is.