The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[littletedwest]

Going for your over 40s health check.

 

[Red_or_Dead]

5 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Going for your over 40s health check.

 

Wait?  What's that?  I'm nearly 50 and never had one!

 

 

[TheBitch]

Projects you commissioned in work are now past their sell by date and are being razed to the ground. 

[littletedwest]

46 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

Wait?  What's that?  I'm nearly 50 and never had one!

 

 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/nhs-health-check/

 

Mad thing is they told me I'm prediabetic. Which led to a conversation about reducing my sweet intake ( I don't have any) reducing fizzy pop ( one can a week) white bread ( don't eat) exercising more ( do 3 weight sessions a week and two runs) cutting down on alcohol ( drank one night this year)

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/nhs-health-check/

 

Mad thing is they told me I'm prediabetic. Which led to a conversation about reducing my sweet intake ( I don't have any) reducing fizzy pop ( one can a week) white bread ( don't eat) exercising more ( do 3 weight sessions a week and two runs) cutting down on alcohol ( drank one night this year)

Fuck that, man. Just live your life. Is it worth giving everything up to live a couple of years longer?

 

They’re obviously wrong about your eating and drinking habits so the solution must clearly be drinking more beer and doing less exercise. That’s basic science. 

[johnsusername]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Projects you commissioned in work are now past their sell by date and are being razed to the ground. 

 

I look back at work stuff that seemed really important at the time, but now is just dust nobody gives a shit about or even remembers. 

[sir roger]

2 hours ago, johnsusername said:

 

I look back at work stuff that seemed really important at the time, but now is just dust nobody gives a shit about or even remembers. 

 

Is that you, Virgil ?

[Razoray]

14 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Had 4 pints and a small bourbon when I got home other night and I was hung over the next day. 

 

I only turned 40 the other week. Why has my body started to fail me?

It's probably because you drink less and less often. Like everything else, the more you do something, the better you become at it. 

You need to drink more

[Harry's Lad]

My eldest Grandchild is 11 today.

Fuck, I feel old.

[VladimirIlyich]

41 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

My eldest Grandchild is 11 today.

Fuck, I feel old.

Wow! Congratulations to you both.

[littletedwest]

Girl at work was telling me how it was a really big deal in her primary school when Obama became the first black president. Realised I was 28 at the time 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

Girl at work was telling me how it was a really big deal in her primary school when Obama became the first black president. Realised I was 28 at the time 

 

Wait until you are described as a ' Work Dad ' like I used to get all the time.

[lifetime fan]

When blokes you became mates with after finally being accepted in your local are dropping like flies. 
 

Doesn’t seem to be a week go by that another has passed away. 

[VladimirIlyich]

11 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

When blokes you became mates with after finally being accepted in your local are dropping like flies. 
 

Doesn’t seem to be a week go by that another has passed away. 

You must have some old mates. You are not 40 yet are you?

[lifetime fan]

3 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

You must have some old mates. You are not 40 yet are you?

43. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

43. 

I take it back!

[lifetime fan]

17 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I take it back!

Thanks! 

[Captain Turdseye]

Went bowling today and got beat by two 9 year old girls. I had the barriers up and everything, wasn’t trying to let them win and they were both using that little slide thing because their arms aren’t strong enough to bowl. 
 

It’s shocked me. Truly shocked me. 

[VladimirIlyich]

13 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Thanks! 

Be like me and have no friends. Less hassle.

[Elite]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Went bowling today and got beat by two 9 year old girls. I had the barriers up and everything, wasn’t trying to let them win and they were both using that little slide thing because their arms aren’t strong enough to bowl. 
 

It’s shocked me. Truly shocked me. 

They wouldn't have beat Any Road. Tart.

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

When blokes you became mates with after finally being accepted in your local are dropping like flies. 
 

Doesn’t seem to be a week go by that another has passed away. 

I get this. Almost every month I'm hearing of fellas that were barstools in my local when I was in my late teens/early 20's passing on. Some of them have lasted longer than they should have to be fair.

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

I get this. Almost every month I'm hearing of fellas that were barstools in my local when I was in my late teens/early 20's passing on. Some of them have lasted longer than they should have to be fair.

A diet of lager and crisps should be recommended by the NHS.

[Jairzinho]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Went bowling today and got beat by two 9 year old girls. I had the barriers up and everything, wasn’t trying to let them win and they were both using that little slide thing because their arms aren’t strong enough to bowl. 
 

It’s shocked me. Truly shocked me. 

 

So they cheated. 

 

Were you even sledging? You should have been. 

[lifetime fan]

37 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

I get this. Almost every month I'm hearing of fellas that were barstools in my local when I was in my late teens/early 20's passing on. Some of them have lasted longer than they should have to be fair.

100% this.

 

I started drinking in the Long Cross aged 14 when sticking up. The locals would get you a couple of half’s.
 

Then I’d go in there and have a couple of pints on a Friday and Saturday night with the money from the Saturday job I had working on the record counter in Woolworths. 

 

It was a right of passage. You learned when you were allowed to laugh, when you could have a little pop back and when to shut the fuck up. 

You learned to play cards, pool, darts (very fucking badly) and how to interact with blokes decades older than you.

 

But I’ve lost so many mates the last 6 months/year. Blokes that made me literally cry with laughter and actually piss myself on more than a couple of occasions. 
 

Having a proper local is a luxury that most will never be lucky to have. 

 

[Mudface]

32 minutes ago, Elite said:

A diet of lager and crisps should be recommended by the NHS.

 

It is vegetarian, although they should add in peanuts for some variety, that might have been their downfall.