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On 3/1/2008 at 7:28 PM, sir roger said:

Long time ago before I was married me & a mate copped off with 2 girls from Widnes & ended up getting a cab back to one of their houses ( after a discussion about the gains involved versus the cab fare involved ). Once settled , my mate went upstairs with his girl & I got involved on the downstairs couch with mine.

 

About 2 hours later I was awoken from a doze ( after a massively impressive performance obviously ) by my mate looking a bit shaken & saying we needed to get off.

 

As we cleared off he let me know the problem. He said they laid down on the bed & everything had being going fine & then the girl had then stood up by the side of the bed & started a striptease. He sat back for the performance as the shoes came off , the blouse came off , the bra came off , the trousers came off , a bit of fumbling and then her right leg came off.

 

He hadn't a clue what to do & she hadn't mentioned having a prosthetic limb. She gets back on the bed as if it was the most usual thing in the world. He'd lost the urge but not wanting her to think he was a bastard , he did the dirty deed & then again before she had finally fallen asleep.

 

We got a cab & he sat almost catatonic in the back , his only utterance being

' I thought she was a shit dancer '.

 

To add insult to injury our pooled money only got us to town & we had to walk to Walton & Croxteth respectively.

6706283249f8efa82d08d6769068b761.500x362

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I was thinking with my cock for a spell over Christmas and was shagging a single mum I really should have ran from the first time I met her for a drink. 

 

I turned up at hers one night off my face as it was cheaper than a taxi back to mine and I fancied a shag. 

 

My memory goes completely from when I was in the taxi...

 

Waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover I could tell she was in a piss with me so started to quickly get dressed and made my excuses. 

 

It was at this point she told me I’d let myself in with her spare key, demanded a blow job and then said I wanted her to squirt over my face. 

 

Apparently she said it felt different when when I was going down on her but still nice all the same. 

 

It wasnt until after a few minutes she realised I’d passed out and was snoring on her clit. 

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1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

I was thinking with my cock for a spell over Christmas and was shagging a single mum I really should have ran from the first time I met her for a drink. 

 

I turned up at hers one night off my face as it was cheaper than a taxi back to mine and I fancied a shag. 

 

My memory goes completely from when I was in the taxi...

 

Waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover I could tell she was in a piss with me so started to quickly get dressed and made my excuses. 

 

It was at this point she told me I’d let myself in with her spare key, demanded a blow job and then said I wanted her to squirt over my face. 

 

Apparently she said it felt different when when I was going down on her but still nice all the same. 

 

It wasnt until after a few minutes she realised I’d passed out and was snoring on her clit. 

giphy.gif

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18 minutes ago, Scott_M said:

giphy.gif

He mentioned it to me the next day to be fair. With Col, anything is believable. Especially when it comes to women and debauchery. 

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18 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

I was thinking with my cock for a spell over Christmas and was shagging a single mum I really should have ran from the first time I met her for a drink. 

 

I turned up at hers one night off my face as it was cheaper than a taxi back to mine and I fancied a shag. 

 

My memory goes completely from when I was in the taxi...

 

Waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover I could tell she was in a piss with me so started to quickly get dressed and made my excuses. 

 

It was at this point she told me I’d let myself in with her spare key, demanded a blow job and then said I wanted her to squirt over my face. 

 

Apparently she said it felt different when when I was going down on her but still nice all the same. 

 

It wasnt until after a few minutes she realised I’d passed out and was snoring on her clit. 

 

 

shocked steve harvey GIF

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I was about to get down to business with a girl I had met in the pub one New Years eve many moons ago, really fancied her.

 

In the throes of taking each others clothes off (very pissed) she bit me. Not a just a nibble, fucking hard. I managed to wince and keep it cool like the fonz. Then she did it again. Even harder. This time I sort of stood up trying to see if a chunk of me was missing. At which point she started getting dressed muttering that "she knew I wouldnt be able to handle her" and off she went.   

 

Nice girl. Works at the local garden centre now.    

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10 minutes ago, Dave D said:

I was about to get down to business with a girl I had met in the pub one New Years eve many moons ago, really fancied her.

 

In the throes of taking each others clothes off (very pissed) she bit me. Not a just a nibble, fucking hard. I managed to wince and keep it cool like the fonz. Then she did it again. Even harder. This time I sort of stood up trying to see if a chunk of me was missing. At which point she started getting dressed muttering that "she knew I wouldnt be able to handle her" and off she went.   

 

Nice girl. Works at the local garden centre now.    

A nipple in the teeth is worth 2 for 1 on her bush 

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20 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

I was thinking with my cock for a spell over Christmas and was shagging a single mum I really should have ran from the first time I met her for a drink. 

 

I turned up at hers one night off my face as it was cheaper than a taxi back to mine and I fancied a shag. 

 

My memory goes completely from when I was in the taxi...

 

Waking up the next morning with a stinking hangover I could tell she was in a piss with me so started to quickly get dressed and made my excuses. 

 

It was at this point she told me I’d let myself in with her spare key, demanded a blow job and then said I wanted her to squirt over my face. 

 

Apparently she said it felt different when when I was going down on her but still nice all the same. 

 

It wasnt until after a few minutes she realised I’d passed out and was snoring on her clit. 

Hero. 

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3 hours ago, Dave D said:

I was about to get down to business with a girl I had met in the pub one New Years eve many moons ago, really fancied her.

 

In the throes of taking each others clothes off (very pissed) she bit me. Not a just a nibble, fucking hard. I managed to wince and keep it cool like the fonz. Then she did it again. Even harder. This time I sort of stood up trying to see if a chunk of me was missing. At which point she started getting dressed muttering that "she knew I wouldnt be able to handle her" and off she went.   

 

Nice girl. Works at the local garden centre now.    

Planting bulbs with her teeth ?

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3 hours ago, Dave D said:

I was about to get down to business with a girl I had met in the pub one New Years eve many moons ago, really fancied her.

 

In the throes of taking each others clothes off (very pissed) she bit me. Not a just a nibble, fucking hard. I managed to wince and keep it cool like the fonz. Then she did it again. Even harder. This time I sort of stood up trying to see if a chunk of me was missing. At which point she started getting dressed muttering that "she knew I wouldnt be able to handle her" and off she went.   

 

Nice girl. Works at the local garden centre now.    

 

You should go and take your secateurs to her clematis and ask her how she likes it

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7 hours ago, Dave D said:

I was about to get down to business with a girl I had met in the pub one New Years eve many moons ago, really fancied her.

 

In the throes of taking each others clothes off (very pissed) she bit me. Not a just a nibble, fucking hard. I managed to wince and keep it cool like the fonz. Then she did it again. Even harder. This time I sort of stood up trying to see if a chunk of me was missing. At which point she started getting dressed muttering that "she knew I wouldnt be able to handle her" and off she went.   

 

Nice girl. Works at the local garden centre now.    

That's code for her wanting you to bum her mate.

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7 hours ago, Colt Seavers said:

That's code for her wanting you to bum her mate.

He's a very opinionated guy

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23 hours ago, Dave D said:

If I had the bottle to talk to her I would have asked her how to trim a particular bush that is out of control.

 

And then run like fuck

A little bit of day drinking and we can get that sorted.

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