Coronavirus

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

My mates just texted me and said he'd just driven past the Wetherspoons by his. He said it looked busier than it usually is. 

 

What are people doing? 

[Tony Moanero]

7 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Tell that as well then, Tone. Fucking hell. 

I’m far too busy calling people on eBay cunts for charging £93 for 16 bog rolls and a packet of Smart Price spaghetti.

[Scott_M]

My wife ate dog dick in China.

 

Hope this helps.

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

My mates just texted me and said he'd just driven past the Wetherspoons by his. He said it looked busier than it usually is. 

 

What are people doing? 

Drinking Coors. It’s a fucking disgrace. 
 

In all seriousness, my sister works in the kitchen at a ‘Spoons and she’s fully expecting to be on the dole by Monday. 

[J-V]

8 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

My mates just texted me and said he'd just driven past the Wetherspoons by his. He said it looked busier than it usually is. 

 

What are people doing? 

Cunts being cunts.

[SasaS]

A lot of Internet could be freed if someone asks Linkedin to stop e-mailing me about many people that are viewing my profile.

[Strontium]

14 minutes ago, Scott_M said:

My wife ate dog dick in China.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Is that on Pornhub Premium?

[moof]

1 hour ago, J-V said:

some stupid Mayalasian bitch

That’s sig-worthy 

[Scott_M]

2 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

Is that on Pornhub Premium?

Xhamster.

 

Anyways, she said they were all just hanging from the window, like ducks in Chinatown.

[Davelfc]

6 minutes ago, SasaS said:

A lot of Internet could be freed if someone asks Linkedin to stop e-mailing me about many people that are viewing my profile.

Or if loads of random companies that I have used years ago stopped emailing me to tell me how they're dealing with corona virus. 

[TheHowieLama]

Alright lads - the apocalpyso is in full swing. Today at the checkout I had a loaf of bread and a bag of bagels.

The girl said I could only buy one due to rations - IN AMERICA!!!

 

If this continues it will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.

[Nunavut Patrick]

5 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Alright lads - the apocalpyso is in full swing. Today at the checkout I had a loaf of bread and a bag of bagels.

The girl said I could only buy one due to rations - IN AMERICA!!!

 

If this continues it will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.

The Jewish community will have freezers full of bagels.

 

[Dr Nowt]

[sir roger]

47 minutes ago, Scott_M said:

My wife ate dog dick in China.

 

Hope this helps.

Are you Kyle Walker ?

[Davelfc]

128 Covid-19 related deaths now (UK) 29 new deaths, age 47-96 all with underlying health conditions. 

[Barrington Womble]

6 minutes ago, davelfc said:

128 Covid-19 related deaths now (UK) 29 new deaths, age 47-96 all with underlying health conditions. 

Is that less than yesterday? (Number of new deaths)

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Barry Wom said:

Is that less than yesterday? (Number of new deaths)

I think so. Just. 

[Davelfc]

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/coronavirus-uk-update-universal-basic-income-iain-duncan-smith-a9411251.html

 

Coronavirus: Iain Duncan Smith says don’t bring in universal basic income during pandemic as it would be ‘disincentive to work’

 

 

Thats sort of the fucking point you murdering tory fucking cunt. 

[clockspeed]

3 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I think so. Just. 

In Cummings speak expect Boris to use word plateau

[J-V]

51 minutes ago, moof said:

That’s sig-worthy 

Fucking phone...

[sir roger]

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/coronavirus-cnn-update-boris-johnson-lord-farquaad-speech-shrek-a9408036.html?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=Feed

 

Not a massive CNN fan but had a chuckleat this

[J-V]

Well done Boris you fat cunt.

 

[clockspeed]

Location of deaths published also. Boris says no but London needs to go into lockdown like that small region in Italy 

[Red_or_Dead]

2 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

I took quite a bit of cash out last week, just in case. 

 

Rico just taking a bit of his wealth home to stash.

 

 

[Rico1304]

3 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

 

Rico just taking a bit of his wealth home to stash.

 

 

You got me. I sent the butler.