The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Captain Turdseye]

Kids. 
 

Took the eldest to Uni on Monday, middle kid is doing her GCSE’s this year and the youngest is in Year 6. 
 

Feels like it won’t be long until they’re all gone. In the meantime, I’ve got some fucking painting to do, splitting the girls into their own rooms.
 

Promised to have the first room done by the end of this week. I’m gonna be absolutely fucked. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Realising that the only films you watched over and over as a kid were whichever ones were repeated on the three telly channels.

[Chris]

Watching every commercial for a tacky household gadget – for things like unblocking drains – and thinking "hmmm, that sounds useful, might get one of those."

[Captain Turdseye]

7 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Kids. 
 

Took the eldest to Uni on Monday, middle kid is doing her GCSE’s this year and the youngest is in Year 6. 
 

Feels like it won’t be long until they’re all gone. In the meantime, I’ve got some fucking painting to do, splitting the girls into their own rooms.
 

Promised to have the first room done by the end of this week. I’m gonna be absolutely fucked. 

 

Whaddayaknow? It’s fucking done. The lot of it. It was only the box room but at my pace I’d allocated two days for it in my head. 
 

Turdseye’s still got it, boys. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Think I’ll get someone in to do the bigger room. 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Whaddayaknow? It’s fucking done. The lot of it. It was only the box room but at my pace I’d allocated two days for it in my head. 
 

Turdseye’s still got it, boys. 

 

Take it to the ' Hear me roar ' thread 

[Captain Turdseye]

Only went and bought fast dry gloss, didn’t I. I’m able to put the teenager in her own room tonight, I’d told her Friday. This is dadding of the kind that I thought was behind me. 
 

The kid is absolutely delighted. She’s already fucked off to The Range with my bird’s mum and dad. 

[Captain Turdseye]

And now, I’m about to get twatted at FIFA by my ten year old daughter. She won’t let me go anyone else except Hartlepool and she keeps narrowly beating me three or four nil with a beefed up Liverpool team. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

7 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

And now, I’m about to get twatted at FIFA by my ten year old daughter. She won’t let me go anyone else except Hartlepool and she keeps narrowly beating me three or four nil with a beefed up Liverpool team. 

We need a "The world of a woman (junior edition)" thread.

[Captain Turdseye]

I can barely stand up today. Fuck sake. 

[VladimirIlyich]

14 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Only went and bought fast dry gloss, didn’t I. I’m able to put the teenager in her own room tonight, I’d told her Friday. This is dadding of the kind that I thought was behind me. 
 

The kid is absolutely delighted. She’s already fucked off to The Range with my bird’s mum and dad. 

Playing Golf does help to relieve the stress of your Dad painting your room the wrong colour!

[Anubis]

On 04/10/2023 at 14:30, Chris said:

Watching every commercial for a tacky household gadget – for things like unblocking drains – and thinking "hmmm, that sounds useful, might get one of those."

 

JML groupie…..

[Kevin D]

I called in sick to work last week, not because I was hungover or had better plans, but because I was actually sick.

[lifetime fan]

When you start contemplating buying a pair of Skechers. 

[ZonkoVille77]

1 minute ago, lifetime fan said:

When you start contemplating buying a pair of Skechers. 

 

Don't do it. Don't!

[Creator Supreme]

My blood pressure readings.

[House of Dirk]

1 hour ago, Creator Supreme said:

My blood pressure readings.

I tend to do mine before I go on the Israel thread.

[YorkshireRed]

I’ve hung my dressing gown by the front door so I can take off my coat and put my dressing gown on, minimising the amount of time I’m exposed to the cold. 
 

Obviously I could put the heating on but my approach is also aimed at sticking it to the man. 

[Mook]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

When you start contemplating buying a pair of Skechers. 

 

It's only permitted if you're planning to cook them.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

31 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve hung my dressing gown by the front door so I can take off my coat and put my dressing gown on, minimising the amount of time I’m exposed to the cold. 
 

Obviously I could put the heating on but my approach is also aimed at sticking it to the man. 

 

That's not a bad idea actually. Always fancied a quilted smoking jacket for lounging in.

[Special K]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

When you start contemplating buying a pair of Skechers. 

I've got a pair..... that my 74 year old dad gave to me because he didn't want them.

 

Tell you what, they're dead comfy

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I overheard a whippersnapper in work pronounce the word "giro" with a hard G.

[lifetime fan]

4 hours ago, Special K said:

I've got a pair..... that my 74 year old dad gave to me because he didn't want them.

 

Tell you what, they're dead comfy

I forgot my golf shoes when I was playing with the f-i-l and he leant me a pair of his. 
 

The comfort was incredible. 

[sir roger]

5 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve hung my dressing gown by the front door so I can take off my coat and put my dressing gown on, minimising the amount of time I’m exposed to the cold. 
 

 

 

I spend that much time in mine that the wife calls me Hugh Hefner.

None of the other trappings unfortunately at the Sir Roger Mansion.

[Captain Turdseye]

Dressing gowns are boss. You don’t need to be old to understand that. Surely people have that figured out before the age of 30.