The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[BeefStroganoff]

41 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

This sounds a fascinating story.

They grow everywhere and itch like heck.

 

And now I’ve found I’m relaxing driving trains on Xbox rather than playing AAA titles. There’s nothing quite like driving an ICE from Koln to Aachen!

 

Also Microsoft flight sim 2020 is a good one. It’s deffo an age thing.

[Section_31]

The noise/cold thing is spot on, I just can't be doing with it. My ideal night out now would involve someone else driving, table service and reasonably priced drinks. And a coat.

[YorkshireRed]

I used to enter bars and scan for attractive looking females. I now scan for seats with plenty of space, that are ideally within close proximity of a radiator. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Lost a bit of weight and my nudger looks a bit bigger but my bollocks have gone south, they look like clackers hanging off a phone wire. 

[Jairzinho]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

I used to enter bars and scan for attractive looking females. I now scan for seats with plenty of space, that are ideally within close proximity of a radiator. 

 

And the bog.

 

A few weeks ago I was dragged to some tedious, hipster joint with 738 different types of ale, all with added apricots and the like. Seen simpler episodes of Crystal Maze than trying to find the shitter there. Ended up having to ask someone in their kitchen. 

[Mook]

I pointed out a fit barmaid recently, she is in her mid 20s & was called a 'nonce'.

[Section_31]

50 minutes ago, Mook said:

I pointed out a fit barmaid recently, she is in her mid 20s & was called a 'nonce'.

 

There's a 26-year-old bird in our place and every time I talk to her I get a stiffy, but I genuinely can't help it. It's to the point where I have to make sure I'm sitting behind a desk before we chat, or at the very least standing face on.

 

I think it's because I'm getting older and don't have kids.

[Mook]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

There's a 26-year-old bird in our place and every time I talk to her I get a stiffy, but I genuinely can't help it. It's to the point where I have to make sure I'm sitting behind a desk before we chat, or at the very least standing face on.

 

I think it's because I'm getting older and don't have kids.

 

'Is that your biological clock sticking out or are you just happy to see me?"

[littletedwest]

A 21 year old bird from work messaged asking was I going to a works do and if so did I wanna share a taxi with her. Years ago even though I'm an ugly pig I'd have thought it was a sign of interest. At my age I just knew she wanted save taxi money and saw me as a nice old bloke.

More to the point my response was" no its a bit far"

 

[Furmedge]

I've got a Christmas meal with work booked for Friday night on a freebie.  The HR girls are meeting us all afterwards and there's a few stunners in there, all around 20 years younger than me.  Years ago I'd be doing my best to impress, but now I'm just thinking "Fucks sake, more people to talk to."

[Furmedge]

8 hours ago, BeefStroganoff said:

Loud music in town and just loud noise in general.

 

Went in to that McCooleys by Matthew st last week for the sheff Utd game and they had music on that was off the scale. Then they had the game volume on that was off the scale. Either everyone is already deaf or that’s the norm these days.

 

Went there in May for the same thing and thought I'd been had off by the bar when I was charged almost £24 for 4 drinks, until I got back to the table and someone told us it was £6 a bottle.  It actually ruined my day.  Thieving cunts could buy a case of 12 for the cost of two beers they were selling.

[Furmedge]

First channel I turn to when I put the telly on is Gold.  Always good for an episode of OFAH or Partridge.

[BeefStroganoff]

1 hour ago, Furmedge said:

 

Went there in May for the same thing and thought I'd been had off by the bar when I was charged almost £24 for 4 drinks, until I got back to the table and someone told us it was £6 a bottle.  It actually ruined my day.  Thieving cunts could buy a case of 12 for the cost of two beers they were selling.

Yep I bought two pints and was given about 60p back from a tenner.

 

It was like Black Books magical popcorn.

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, Furmedge said:

 

Went there in May for the same thing and thought I'd been had off by the bar when I was charged almost £24 for 4 drinks, until I got back to the table and someone told us it was £6 a bottle.  It actually ruined my day.  Thieving cunts could buy a case of 12 for the cost of two beers they were selling.

I don't get out these days but £6 for a drink? Fuck that right off.

I could go out and get hammered on £2 when I first started going the pub.

Mild, 24p a pint, bitter 26p  and lager 28p.

Now I do feel old.

[Creator Supreme]

30 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I don't get out these days but £6 for a drink? Fuck that right off.

I could go out and get hammered on £2 when I first started going the pub.

Mild, 24p a pint, bitter 26p  and lager 28p.

Now I do feel old.

That was the week the Germans invaded Poland wasn't it?

[RJ Fan club]

Debating whether to wear light coloured trousers on a night out.

 

You either spend half the evening shaking at the urinal or risk walking around with piss stained kecks if you chance too early that you’ve finished.

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

11 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

That was the week the Germans invaded Poland wasn't it?

1978 when I was 14/15. 

[Creator Supreme]

39 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

1978 when I was 14/15. 

You've got years on me then bud, I was only born in 75.

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

Thinking Harry’s Lad of t’internet was getting on a bit and then realising he was born only a couple of years before me.

[VladimirIlyich]

9 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I just read that Sting is now the same age as Private Godfrey was when he first appeared in Dad’s army. 

That's Stringvest's lad in his home guard uniform.

[Section_31]

13 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I just read that Sting is now the same age as Private Godfrey was when he first appeared in Dad’s army. 

 

The police are making a comeback as the security guards.

[Captain Turdseye]

Just been for a little kickabout with Turdsette. Half an hour. I’m absolutely goosed. 
 

My hands are genuinely shaking as I type this post. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Pulled my wooly hat down today and it pushed some weirdly long eyebrow hairs into my line of vision.

 

Turning into Denis Healey here.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

The only looks I have off women now are ones of 'he could comfortably kill me if he felt the need to'.

[littletedwest]

Realising people born in 2000 are turning 24