Wank Phrases people use at work.

[rEddie]

"Synergy". "Cognizant". "Guys". "Win" (but no definition of what it takes or means to deliver a win). Oh, and platitudes. I fucking hate platitudes.

[Rex Banner]

What would you say instead if guys? People, gang, compatriots, fellow work colleagues?

[Jose Jones]

I don't mind guys (phnar) - it's certainly a lot better than "team".

[s(k)aturation]

"Correct".... rather than "yes".

 

And any emailed, all-staff motivational quote on a Monday morning.

[GUS]

"Digital by default" is the new buzz phrase being used where I work.

[manwiththestick]

[YOUTUBE] v=mXO5ffjAufE [/YOUTUBE]

[Furmedge]

"We're all one big team."

 

Okay, can I have the same wage as you then?

[Champ]

Not exactly the same but there are a number of 'healthy living' messages posted up along the corridors and stairways where I work reminding us that you burn more calories using the stairs than taking the lift, etc. I dont know about anyone else but they just bring out the adolescent in me. Fuck off, I'll do what I like, comes to mind

[Liverpool lad]

What would you say instead if guys? People' date=' gang, compatriots, fellow work colleagues?[/quote']

 

Comrades

[Champ]

What would you say instead if guys? People, gang, compatriots, fellow work colleagues?

 

Lurtz? I know you're a hater of this term; what do you use instead?

[sir roger]

The latest buzz phrase with our bosses is ' getting into the ribs of it' as in a sentence such as ' right , we've talked a bit about this new product, but now we need to get into the ribs of it'.

 

Must have heard it 10 times in a one day course last week.

[loadsoftrophies]

"How does it feel to be a part of something special?"

 

Shut.up.

[Reacher]

The latest buzz phrase with our bosses is ' getting into the ribs of it' as in a sentence such as ' right ' date=' we've talked a bit about this new product, but now we need to get into the ribs of it'.

 

Must have heard it 10 times in a one day course last week.[/quote']

 

Not sure if that's better or worse than our old area manager loudly clapping his hands then rubbing them and shouting "Right, lets crack on!"

[lifetime fan]

'My'.

 

As in my staff, my department, my targets.

 

Normally spouted by some prick who's just gained some minor, insignificant promotion.

[Liverpool lad]

'My'.

 

As in my staff' date=' my department, my targets.

 

Normally spouted by some prick who's just gained some minor, insignificant promotion.[/quote']

 

Tell me about it

 

Fucking imbeciles

[Champ]

I am irritated by colleagues describing service users as being 'distressed.' What's wrong with the 'upset', I want to know. I'm sure its not the way they describe their own friends and rellies

[zigackly]

Service users, there's another one.

 

What would you say instead if guys? People, gang, compatriots, fellow work colleagues?

 

"Bunch of twats" works for me.

[Champ]

Service users' date=' there's another one.

 

[/quote']

 

I know but is there a better description out there?

[Preston Red]

Being a welder is awesome.

 

We don't get wank phrases. Just plenty of swearing and talking about sex. Good ol' industry

[Barrington Womble]

What would you say instead if guys? People' date=' gang, compatriots, fellow work colleagues?[/quote']

 

My ex boss used to use colleagues, both verbally and in email. Sounded like some shit he'd been taught on a management course.

[Barrington Womble]

The latest buzz phrase with our bosses is ' getting into the ribs of it' as in a sentence such as ' right ' date=' we've talked a bit about this new product, but now we need to get into the ribs of it'.

 

Must have heard it 10 times in a one day course last week.[/quote']

 

That's funny. I think I might use it for a laugh.

[Section_31]

Hate all this shit me. Have been looking around at a few jobs lately and anything corporate just sends shivers down my spine and makes me want to go and work in the woods. "Do you have a track record of influencing decision matrices?" no, because I don't even know what that means - and neither do you.

 

HR departments are partly to blame for how hard it is to get jobs now. Time was you'd phone the boss, he'd have a chat with you to make sure you're not a psychopath, and you'd get a trial period. Now you've got some 17-year-old temp throwing your CV in the bin because you only got a D in RE.

[lifetime fan]

I know but is there a better description out there?

 

 

People.

 

Individuals.

 

Or we could use their name.

[Champ]

 

People.

 

Individuals.

 

Or we could use their name.

 

I mean for the purposes of posting on here

[zigackly]

I know but is there a better description out there?

 

It used to be clients but that's not really right either. Service users is the latest buzz phrase in the voluntary sector. Like Col, I try to use the word people as often as I can, or refer to individuals by their first name.