Summer 2024 Transfer Thread

[Anubis]

Any other summer transfer thread is a pale imitation.

[Scott_M]

The self flagellators will be out in numbers this summer, polishing their kebab skewer urethral sounding prongs & anal beads made from barbwire, desperate to excitedly / aggressively telling everybody that “We all told you we’ll be shite once Klopp left, we told you, WE TOLD YOU”. 
 

They’ll all be desperate to pipe up and chip in, each one getting nutrition from them agreeing with each other, shitting in each others mouths like a human centipede. 
 

Those who are more relaxed about the situation and have faith in the club employees to do their job will be mocked for not caring or sucking on FSG’s cock. 
 

Ultimately, despite forumites thought processes wildly differing, the majority of conclusions will be very similar but nobody will be able to see that for all the rabbit hole the thread goes down. 
 

Unfortunately, I acknowledge myself I dragged down these rabbit holes. My new mantra is you can’t argue with morons and ultimately by arguing with morons, you become a moron yourself. I’m going to try to rise about it… I give myself until 1st June, at best. 

[Scott_M]

The self flagellators will be out in numbers this summer, polishing their kebab skewer urethral sounding prongs & anal beads made from barbwire, desperate to excitedly / aggressively telling everybody that “We all told you we’ll be shite once Klopp left, we told you, WE TOLD YOU”. 
 

They’ll all be desperate to pipe up and chip in, each one getting nutrition from them agreeing with each other, shitting in each others mouths like a human centipede. 
 

Those who are more relaxed about the situation and have faith in the club employees to do their job will be mocked for not caring or sucking on FSG’s cock. 
 

Ultimately, despite forumites thought processes wildly differing, the majority of conclusions will be very similar but nobody will be able to see that for all the rabbit hole the thread goes down. 
 

Unfortunately, I acknowledge myself I dragged down these rabbit holes. My new mantra is you can’t argue with morons and ultimately by arguing with morons, you become a moron yourself. I’m going to try to rise about it… I give myself until 1st June, at best. 

[TheHowieLama]

Scott getting in early.

In stereo.

[aws]

Scott dishes out 12 of the best to the self-flagellators. 

[Barrington Womble]

Gonna be a funny one this with nobody around. I suppose it all starts with Schmadtke's replacement. 

[Code]

All know is that we will sign more players than in this January window. 

[Mook]

Can't see us doing an awful lot unless Salah goes.

 

Quansah & Bradley have been revelations so the defence doesn't need as much work as it seemed six months ago. The lads in Boston will be over the moon.

[BeefStroganoff]

2 hours ago, Scott_M said:

 

Unfortunately, I acknowledge myself I dragged down these rabbit holes. My new mantra is you can’t argue with morons and ultimately by arguing with morons, you become a moron yourself. I’m going to try to rise about it… I give myself until 1st June, at best. 

 

Fucking hell. What a complete berk you are.

[Scott_M]

4 minutes ago, BeefStroganoff said:

 

Fucking hell. What a complete berk you are.

Tra-lala-lala

[El Rojo]

Matip is probably gone and Virgil is getting on in years, so another centre half would make sense.

 

Much will depend on which players don't want to stick around without Klopp. 

 

Here's my shock departure prediction - Trent to Real Madrid.  

[3 Stacks]

If the new manager wants signings, he'll get signings. No self respecting manager would take a job if they want something and they're told they won't get it.

 

If it was still Klopp and there weren't more departures than out of contract players or any surprises, it'd be likely we'd do very little.

[etho]

Apart from maybe a centre half we don’t actually need to buy anyone unless anyone leaves. Completely happy with the squad. Can start the summer 2025 thread 

[Carvalho Diablo]

As if self-flagellation is a bad thing.

[Bad Red Bull]

Buy Olise!!

[Dicko]

Really?

Just enjoy the season and worry about it then. Once it's over you can get your FSG OUT banners back out and start asking for an oil rich nation to take over.

 

Edit this is not directed at Anubis who sponsored this thread with gallons of salt.

[Harry Squatter]

If Klopp doesn't ask FSG for a massive transfer budget he can fuck off in the summer. 

[Bruce Spanner]

I assume it’s about who we can upgrade. 
 

Matip, Adrian, Thiago, Williams, Phillips are gone, you’d assume and we don’t really need to replace anyone bar Matip and Adrian and that’ll be with a British steady Eddie to put the cones out and pick up £20k a week.

 

Kelleher & Carvalho are our only sellable assets who we wouldn’t really miss.

The easiest upgrade I see is Diaz as he’s the least productive of our starting forwards and would get a reasonably big fee.

 

All contingent on who comes in as manager, but that’s a solid squad to inherit.

 

Nice place to be.

 

 

[Lee909]

Until we know who tbe manager is and what formation,style of play etc talk of any buying and selling is pretty pointless 

[Carvalho Diablo]

[Captain Turdseye]

We’ll go big on someone with the Salah money.  

[Creator Supreme]

13 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

We’ll go big on someone with the Salah money.  

What's Rickie Lambert up to these days?

[Bruce Spanner]

8 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

What's Rickie Lambert up to these days?

He’s up to level 18 dickhead, I think.

[Vincent Vega]

If none of our top lads leave, then a summer concentrating on contract extensions would be fine in my book. Get Mo tied down for another 2 years, same with Virgil, get Trent on a new five year deal, and Konaté is out of contract in 2026, so let’s get him to sign for another five years as well. We should also reward some of the young lads for the progress they’ve made, starting with Bradley obviously.

[Red Banjo]

I'd like to think we'll go all out for the Georgian lad at Napoli in the summer.

 

He's proper boss and still really young. Napoli are having a shocker this season so you'd imagine everyone will be for sale at the right price.

 

Scores, assists and already plays anywhere across the front 3 - so a seamless transition.

 

Get it done LFC yer clumps.