The world of a woman.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Echo and the bunny men confirmed as playing in Sefton park being discussed in work

 

"oh I love their Christmas megamix!"

[Mook]

The other day one of our offices down south diverted their phones up to us, when they got back from their lunch they phoned my boss, "We've taken an average of twenty calls since you've been away.".

[Bjornebye]

Irish girl in our work then , whilst looking at geese through the window "I thought geese only lived in Canada?"

[Trumo]

Irish girl in our work then , whilst looking at geese through the window "I thought geese only lived in Canada?"

 

What's good for the goose is good for Canada.

[lifetime fan]

Ask her if you can goose her.

[mattyq]

Irish girl in our work then , whilst looking at geese through the window "I thought geese only lived in Canada?"

What about her tits?

[lifetime fan]

Pics or GTFO.

[A Red]

Me "Why did you activate parental control for our BT hub?"

 

Her " I wondered what it did"

 

Me " I'll tell you what if fucking did, it blocked every fuckin site you can think of, screwed up our network controls so none of the cottages have the internet and even if they fuckin did they wouldnt be able to get on any bastard sites"

 

Her " I didnt know it would do that did I?

 

Me " Me telling you not to mess with anything after us having spent £500 to set it up should have been a fucking clue!"

 

2 days of silent treatment did make it worthwhile though

[Bjornebye]

"why can't I access porn? bring me my shovel"

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Me "Why did you activate parental control for our BT hub?"

 

Her " I wondered what it did"

 

Me " I'll tell you what if fucking did, it blocked every fuckin site you can think of, screwed up our network controls so none of the cottages have the internet and even if they fuckin did they wouldnt be able to get on any bastard sites"

 

Her " I didnt know it would do that did I?

 

Me " Me telling you not to mess with anything after us having spent £500 to set it up should have been a fucking clue!"

 

2 days of silent treatment did make it worthwhile though

 

Wait, what? I take it it's not your standard home hub setup?

[Dr Nowt]

Hello...Susan? Can you make pornography come on my telly please?

[A Red]

Wait, what? I take it it's not your standard home hub setup?

No its linking different properties together by means of cat5, tplink and a Draytek router thing. Was all working lovely.

[PestiRed]

Apparently the reason for us procreating is that her company car parking spot has been moved slightly further down the road

 

I was kicked out from my parking place from the building and I will get a parking place 200 m from the building outside. We need a baby now. I want to stop working when the weather turns bad.

[Champ]

Apparently the reason for us procreating is that her company car parking spot has been moved slightly further down the road

 

 

Means to an end, Pesti. Means to an end.

You are powerless to resist

[PestiRed]

Means to an end, Pesti. Means to an end.

You are powerless to resist

I'm fully aware of that, but I do object to the pure shitness of this argument

 

When she comes home I will tell her that when our child asks about his/her origins, I will tell him/her that he/she was born simply because his/her mother couldn't be arsed to walk 200m in the rain

[Champ]

I'm fully aware of that, but I do object to the pure shitness of this argument

 

When she comes home I will tell her that when our child asks about his/her origins, I will tell him/her that he/she was born simply because his/her mother couldn't be arsed to walk 200m in the rain

This is only the start, mister

[stringvest]

What about her tits?

 

They're non-migrationary

[stringvest]

I'm fully aware of that, but I do object to the pure shitness of this argument

 

When she comes home I will tell her that when our child asks about his/her origins, I will tell him/her that he/she was born simply because his/her mother couldn't be arsed to walk 200m in the rain

 

 

You'll have to call her Ella

 

Ella 

 

Ella

[Dr Nowt]

The old dear has brought her a wooden turtle with her name on it back from her cruise.  A wooden fucking turtle!

 

For years I used to be presented with similar gift shop stuff and have been told numerous times by my better half how blunt and rude I am about not wanting it and asking Mum not to waste her money on stuff I'll just bin.

 

Watching her face pretend to like it yesterday and hearing the feigned "Oh, it's so lovely" was just 100% pure joy.  

 

She mouthed an obscene word at me when she caught me smirking from the other side of the room.

[stringvest]

haha!  I recently had the ugliest clock ever made brought back from Australia and given to me.  Apparently it was made by Aboriginals who are now using their craftsmanship handed down over thousands of years to make traditional items like clocks and wine bottle holders.  Fucking hell it was horrific. 

[Nunavut Patrick]

You have not seen shite aboriginal crafts until $10,000 bingo night in Nunavut.

 

The crap they draw and pawn off as traditional.

[Trumo]

Yeah but he can legitimately compare the quality of their woodcrafts before white man showed up.

[Evelyn Tentions]

haha!  I recently had the ugliest clock ever made brought back from Australia and given to me.  Apparently it was made by Aboriginals who are now using their craftsmanship handed down over thousands of years to make traditional items like clocks and wine bottle holders.  Fucking hell it was horrific. 

Politically incorrect racist comment follows

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

Traditional Aboriginal wine bottle holders around here are brown paper bags

[lifetime fan]

Never go for a piss with a third of your pint left.

 

Come out of the toilet and she's stood there with her handbag waiting to leave...

 

Me: Hang on, I've got a third of a pint left

Her: No you haven't.

M: I fucking have, it cost me £8, I know exactly how much is left.

H: I told them to take your glass away as I thought you were done.

M: I'm fucking done with you!

[Hand Shandy]

She drank it, you daft bastard...