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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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So, we’re quietly having breakfast this morning when my wife spots a wasp in the front room. 

 

She dashed to the kitchen quicker than Usain Bolt and grabbed the bug spray she had previously told me off for buying.

 

The wasp is buzzing round me, so I’m sitting statue still as you’re meant to do. It seems leave so I take a drink of my coffee at which point my wife unleashes the bug spray to similar effect as De Niro does with his flame thrower in Deer Hunter and gets all over me, my clothes and of course my coffee of which I’m still mid-drink.

 

Apparently it was going for me...

 

The above isn’t the problem. Seeing I swallowed some of the bug spray, I then spent the next 10 mins with my head over the toilet bowl dry heaving and bringing up brown bile & trying to wash it out my eyes, which she finds hilarious. 

 

“I’m so sorry, hahahahaha, it was going for you, hahahahaha, aren’t you happy I stopped you being stung, hahahahaha, are you Ok? hahahahaha”

 

Yeah, fucking hilarious. I tell you what wouldn’t be funny and that would be if the roles were reversed and you ended up being sick for 10 mins. That would be grounds for a full scale argument of World War 3 nuclear proportions. 

 

I still ill feel too sick to bother making anything of it. 

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They have absolutely no concept of time. We were supposed to be going out at 11am to do a bit of shopping and then go for lunch. 1.10pm and we're still at home. Any decent eating places will be full.

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Had all the family round mine yesterday and me Mam is prattling on about cousins me and my brother have never met...

 

Mam: And Marg was saying that Peter Crowley is doing better and has stopped drinking gin for breakfast. 

 

Sister in law: Did he have a drink problem? 

 

Ginge and I are pissing ourselves laughing and she’s asking what’s so funny. 

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