Middle Class Generalisation Thread

[Major Tom]

I've never been to Center Parcs... it's just been too expensive

For those prices i'd expect some sort of futuristic paradise, Logan's Run without the Sandmen, rather than a collection of huts, a few paths and an indoor pool with slide combo

 

And without the under 30 policy?

 

Otherwise we're all doomed.

[stringvest]

I couldn't imagine going without kids.  It would be like sitting down in the middle of a creche facility on a package holiday with all your beardy mates.  

[Section_31]

I've never been to Center Parcs... it's just been too expensive

For those prices i'd expect some sort of futuristic paradise, Logan's Run without the Sandmen, rather than a collection of huts, a few paths and an indoor pool with slide combo

We're going from Friday to Monday and it's about 350 for a two storey lodge, not bad I thought.

[Champ]

Champy is no stranger to a safety word.

Explain yourself, General

[Section_31]

I couldn't imagine going without kids. It would be like sitting down in the middle of a creche facility on a package holiday with all your beardy mates.

There's deffo a few awkward looks when we're out.

 

Some of the kids were a bit freaked out I think when my mate was having a piss in the swimming pool bogs singing: "I want to be, having a wee, in an Octopus's garden, in the aids."

[Dr Nowt]

Explain yourself, General

 

At parties of a swinging nature, and/or extreme sexual perversion, many couples agree a safe word ahead of the gig, in case one gets out of their depth.

 

Ours is "nipsy", for when anyone goes near my nipsy.

[mattyq]

We're going from Friday to Monday and it's about 350 for a two storey lodge, not bad I thought.

I'm sure it's great...i was just being a miserable cunt

[Chairman Meow]

To expand on what Lizzie has said (and mention of his nipsy certainly made me expand) you may also have cases in which people have a yellow and a red safe word. 

 

The yellow to signify a limit is near being reached and the red for stop altogether. Or so I've heard. 

[stringvest]

To expand on what Lizzie has said (and mention of his nipsy certainly made me expand) you may also have cases in which people have a yellow and a red safe word. 

 

The yellow to signify a limit is near being reached and the red for stop altogether. Or so I've heard. 

 

what does flashing yellow mean?

[stringvest]

At parties of a swinging nature, and/or extreme sexual perversion, many couples agree a safe word ahead of the gig, in case one gets out of their depth.

 

Ours is "nipsy", for when anyone goes near my nipsy.

 

mine was mooooooooooo!

[Chairman Meow]

what does flashing yellow mean?

 

Carry on if safe to do so. 

[Dr Nowt]

To expand on what Lizzie has said (and mention of his nipsy certainly made me expand) you may also have cases in which people have a yellow and a red safe word. 

 

The yellow to signify a limit is near being reached and the red for stop altogether. Or so I've heard. 

 

Was that you in the Grecian mask?

[stringvest]

Was that you in the Grecian mask?

 

no, but the one in the Grecian 2000 was me.

[Chairman Meow]

Was that you in the Grecian mask?

 

No I was the one in the gimp mask with your wife hanging out the back of me. 

[Dr Nowt]

No I was the one in the gimp mask with your wife hanging out the back of me. 

 

That wasn't my wife.

 

* Pats bulge *

[Chairman Meow]

I did wonder why that strap on seemed to be leaking. 

[General Dryness]

Explain yourself, General

Lizzie and Chev have got it covered.

[Champ]

Lizzie and Chev have got it covered.

You know those ground swallowing moments people speak of...

[cloggypop]

You have to be careful bringing up kids without any sugar as they can so easily be led into temptation in later life. Just think of Marianne Faithfull and that Mars Bar.

[Champ]

They have at least £100 in cash in their wallet at all times.

 

My wallet is genuinely empty at all times, unless I'm out on the piss.

At which case I debate whether getting £70 or £80 out is enough at the cash machine, opt for £70 and then end up getting another £40 out later anyway when I'm pissed and have ran out.

 

 

How flash are you with your 70 or 80 quid, while I debate with myself whether 30 will be enough!

 

How you hold your money is possibly an indicator of class in itself. I was chatting with 2 teacher friends last night who both agreed that kids from (not)working class homes were far better at basic maths than their better off peers who have much less experience of handling actual money as so much in their lives is paid for by debit/credit cards

 

I find the opposite, they tend to be quite cash poor because all their money is tied up in the extension.

Have you ever seen a middle class couple eating someone else's food? Say, at a wedding or a birthday bash? It's like spmeomw threw some chicken satay sticks into a lion's cage.

You will also never, ever see anyone as excited as a middle class couple at a carvery. The kid gets a fruit shoot and some chicken goujons while mum and dad take their lack of promotion frustrations out on the gammon with a glazed look that's s curious mix of desperation and concentration that says 'if I don't eat this, someone may take it from me.'

Agree with Stringy on the carvery. And genuine middle class kids can forget the fruit shoots; its plain tap water for them. Sugary drinks, rots their teeth, you know

[melons]

Ribbed, for her pleasure.

 

And lube. Alcohol and sunshine can cause dehydration. Be ready.

 

 

I've never=understood this - is there actually any extra pleasure in ribbed ones?

[Major Tom]

I've never=understood this - is there actually any extra pleasure in ribbed ones?

 

er...you tell us, surely!

[melons]

er...you tell us, surely!

 

I've had four kids, I'm lucky if I can feel that i'm wiping the right area after I've had a wee. 

[Major Tom]

I've had four kids, I'm lucky if I can feel that i'm wiping the right area after I've had a wee. 

 

Jesus. That is just way too much information for a small town boy like me.

[Champ]

Jesus. That is just way too much information for a small town boy like me.

Where have been all this time, Major??