January Transfer Window 2015

[Mook]

I'm expecting a 'swoop'.

 

Those Covent Garden ones are nice.

[Section_31]

Being 'poised to swoop' is always good, it makes me think of Ayre dressed as Eddie the Eagle Edwards.

[Harry Squatter]

Or the Colombian man dressed up as a bird in the stands at Italia 90

[Russ Atmosphere]

Hope we don't give this transfer committee any more war-chests, may as well give it the KLF.

[Ne Moe Imya]

*saunters over to the BBC gossip page to see what's what*

 

"Hm, Arsenal after Carvalho - there's a player who could actually make a massive impact in our side.  Hope we're after someone similar."

 

*reads further*

 

"Liverpool are ready to test Aston Villa's resolve by trying to sign midfielder Fabian Delph, 25, and centre-back Ron Vlaar, 29, in a 15m deal, with both players out of contract in the summer."

 

*throws computer in the bin, heads outside to try to forget that football exists*

[billypilgrimnz]

*saunters over to the BBC gossip page to see what's what*

 

"Hm, Arsenal after Carvalho - there's a player who could actually make a massive impact in our side.  Hope we're after someone similar."

 

*reads further*

 

"Liverpool are ready to test Aston Villa's resolve by trying to sign midfielder Fabian Delph, 25, and centre-back Ron Vlaar, 29, in a 15m deal, with both players out of contract in the summer."

 

*throws computer in the bin, heads outside to try to forget that football exists*

 

We really have no fucking clue. It's just a rumor, of course, but it sounds ominous because it is just like us to prefer Delph and Vlaar over Carvalho.

[Gym Beglin]

We really have no fucking clue. It's just a rumor, of course, but it sounds ominous because it is just like us to prefer Delph and Vlaar over Carvalho.

It's just like us to offer £15m for those two with 6 months left on their contract, when their actual value with five years left on their contract would be around the same price.

 

It's like trawling the bargain bucket in HMV and finding a Best of Eurythmics album for 99p and then buying it because it's 'such good value'. You're 99p poorer and you now have a shit album, well done you. Meanwhile, John Chelsea spends a fiver on a quality EP, which he listens to while fingering Anna Premierleague.

[Lee909]

15ml on two average players available for nothing 6 months later. I hope it's normal press BS

[Mook]

I can't see us buying another CB so I'm 99% certain it's bullshit.

[Jairzinho]

He's only 5' 8" according to Wiki. It's on!

 

Fuck sake. They've edited it.

[J-V]

David Moyes wants to take Emre Can on loan apparently.

Send Allen instead

[El Dangerous]

Are you lot really watching onazi vids?

 

Christ, you don't get it do you, we aren't allowed to make straightforward improvements to our team.

 

First the transfer committee has to come to a decision using the AV method, only if the player is under 27 and costs less than £12m on 1 Dec of any year. The committee then has 28 clear working days to consider each target and submit reviews.

 

Each target is then rigorously checked on YouTube and wiki to make sure there any no injury concerns.

 

Another committee in Boston is then hastily consulted, and this consists of Rick Moranis, Pato Banton, Sigourney Weaver, and Teller from Penn and Teller.

 

They must then come to 75% consensus on the best target within 8 minutes.

 

Upon identification of the target, a sealed bid will be sent by first class mail to the lucky club.

Everyone knows all the cool kids use Squawka to determine which shit players we should sign. Do they know about Squawka?

[Paulie Dangerously]

Ron vlaar and fabien delph please.

[Jairzinho]

Curtis Davies and Lee Cattermole please.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Ogenji Onazi sounds like a shaolin temple or a rain forest. 

Steer clear, he's an Irish fascist.

 

Damn you Barry Wom

Edited December 28, 2014 by Jarvinja Ilnow

[El Dangerous]

Typical that we go out and find the only Nigerian midget. All the rest are big dicked Adebisi looking mother fuckers and we get Arnold off of Different Strokes. I bet he's about 40 in real life as well.

[JermainePennant]

Am I the only one who thinks that Cech isn't great with the ball at his feet?

 

The exact thing that Mignolet is being ridiculed for?

Your right, he's made several mistakes on the ball in games against us in the past and has looked bad under managers who play football.

 

I would not spend big on him, if we were spending big we should get a top young keeper like a Leno or someone.

[Nightcat]

So Torres who is on loan to Milan from Chelsea, will sign on a permanent basis for Milan, who do not actually rate him, so  they can then loan him to Atletico, who will send on loan an Italian player back to Milan.

 

Modern football and its transfers are shite.

[Boss]

Delph would be a good signing, Vlarr though i'm not sure, he was superb in a back 5 at the world cup with better players around him. May as well go for Milner as well for a nominal fee if he isn't going to sign a new deal at City.

[El Dangerous]

Milner would be a good upgrade on Allen and probably Henderson I reckon. Really versatile as well, definitely at the top end of the quality scale of a Rodgers type midfielder.

[RoboRiise]

 

First time I can recall seeing him.  Tell you what, he had a great game there, no denying it.  In particular his awareness and anticipation of the play are outstanding.

 

 

Milner would be a good upgrade on Allen and probably Henderson I reckon. Really versatile as well, definitely at the top end of the quality scale of a Rodgers type midfielder.

 

Unsung star of many of City's performances is Milner.  Unspectacular but very solid.

[RoboRiise]

So Torres who is on loan to Milan from Chelsea, will sign on a permanent basis for Milan, who do not actually rate him, so  they can then loan him to Atletico, who will send on loan an Italian player back to Milan.

 

Modern football and its transfers are shite.

 

I suspect I know how this one went down and it's not that complicated really.  Chelsea want rid of him, Milan took him on loan but now they want to cancel it.  Chelsea don't want him back so told Milan that they signed a deal and they're sticking to it.  Milan don't want to be stuck with him and know Atleti want him.  Atleti don't have the money to buy him outright.  Milan decided their best bet is to sign him from Chelsea for a fee and loan him out to Atleti themselves to recoup some of it because at least he isn't stinking the San Siro out that way.

 

Recurring theme - virtually nobody wants Torres.  People still wanted us to sign him, amazing isn't it - he's about as welcome as a bacon butty at a Bar Mitzvah pretty much everywhere other then the club he came through at.  The lad is shot to shit.

[Brigant Moloch]

Delph is poor man's Henderson, Vlaar is mediocre, we don't need Milner + he's average

[Jairzinho]

Milner is an excellent player with exactly the type of mentality we need. We won't sign him.

[markcd]

I'd take Milner - but are City really not going to offer him a new contract? He plays every week?