The world of a woman.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Woman I worked with a few years ago thought she was really clever because she got some wank degree and her al fella was a high ranking copper.

She got a job interviewing asylum seekers and I was assigned to mentor her. She came out with some absolute classics. She had to interview an Iranian and I gave her some Christianity questions to help her in the interview. She just looked at me and said "why are you giving me these, Iran is a Muslim country for fucks sake"

She interviewed a Chinese applicant once who said he had 3 kids and she spent 20 minutes arguing with him about it calling him a bare faced liar because "it's well known that China has a one child policy". She was always ridiculously aggressive with them probably because she thought she was being like her copper Dad. She would be in there 4 hours and you'd still be none the wiser why someone had left their own country as she'd argue the toss over the colour of shite.

She always referred to Robert Mugabe as "Mugambi" and didn't question how some fella got a direct train from Kinshasa to Dubai. She said "we'll I didn't know they were miles away from each other"

Belgian cunts probably built the first part of it.....

[Skidfingers McGonical]

That makes you both as daft as each other.

 

 

She wants to kill you.

 

*changes next of kin"

[Carvalho Diablo]

The fuck is this witchery ?

 

[Dr Nowt]

"That's not how it looked in the brochure, gimme back my sex piss".

[Alan Sex]

One for the 'you realise you are getting older thread'

 

I'd take the car full of middle aged builders

All at once? Shouldn't this be in the Salad Cream thread?

[Paulie Dangerously]

There's just nearly been an uprising in our place after the demand for cakes outstripped supply at the McMillan cake and coffee morning in our work.

 

A gaggle of about 6 balloons got there just after I had got the last rice crispy cake after making a donation despite seeing the pickings were slim.

 

The huffing and tutting from these twats though, Jesus. They left dejected with purses closed and nothing chucked in the charity bucket. I know there were only flapjack bites left love but fucking hell it's for cancer

 

Pick your face up you cunt

 

 

 

 

 

In the words of LL this is not my current place of work

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

[Carvalho Diablo]

Two hands you daft cow...

 

[Saintslfc13]

Two hands you daft cow...

 

 

 

I'd watch that woman crash into an 18-wheeler from her passenger seat.

[Reacher]

Had to use facebastard this morning to create an event. The first post in my news feed was by a bird asking if you could "still have hormones if you're not pregnant.

 

 

Shook my head, then pressed create event.

[lifetime fan]

New young bint started at our place today, not bad body but terrible skin. maybe a 6.5/10.

 

Anyway showing her how to complete the kitchen checks, take the fridge and freezer temperatures, probe any food you've cooked and check the microwave and cooker work.

 

Bint: How will I know if the microwave and oven work?

Me: Try turning them on.

Bint: Ahahahaha that was a bit of a daft question wasn't it.

 

Rolls eyes.

[Bjornebye]

How long till bint gets some Col muck in her eye? 

[lifetime fan]

How long till bint gets some Col muck in her eye? 

 

It'd help with the acne.

[stringvest]

I'd watch that woman crash into an 18-wheeler from her passenger seat.

 

there'd be an airbag vs fun bag smackdown

[Ranxerox]

There's just nearly been an uprising in our place after the demand for cakes outstripped supply at the McMillan cake and coffee morning in our work. A gaggle of about 6 balloons got there just after I had got the last rice crispy cake after making a donation despite seeing the pickings were slim. The huffing and tutting from these twats though, Jesus. They left dejected with purses closed and nothing chucked in the charity bucket. I know there were only flapjack bites left love but fucking hell it's for cancer Pick your face up you cunt In the words of LL this is not my current place of work

 

Fuck me, had a nearly identical experience a couple of years ago (wasn't McMillan as we don't have it here) when there was a Heart and Stroke Foundation event at trade show I was attending.

[A Red]

Just an observation really.

 

I think women are genetically designed to be unhappy. When a woman is happy in a relationship she puts weight on, which will then make her unhappy. She then is unhappy whilst making her partner unhappy only becoming happy, along with her partner, when shes losing the weight. She then puts weight on........

 

I could be wrong

[PestiRed]

Just an observation really.

 

I think women are genetically designed to be unhappy. When a woman is happy in a relationship she puts weight on, which will then make her unhappy. She then is unhappy whilst making her partner unhappy only becoming happy, along with her partner, when shes losing the weight. She then puts weight on........

 

I could be wrong

This is why it is vital to check a woman's upper arms before contemplating marriage. Any fat at all and they will fight a losing battle with weight for most of their lives. Skinny upper arms and they're genetically guaranteed a diet-free life. They'll still be mental but one degree of crazy less

[A Red]

This is why it is vital to check a woman's upper arms before contemplating marriage. Any fat at all and they will fight a losing battle with weight for most of their lives. Skinny upper arms and they're genetically guaranteed a diet-free life. They'll still be mental but one degree of crazy less

Wise words

[Champ]

 

No-one can 'rough kids up' like Dads do. That's their job

[Barrington Womble]

This is why it is vital to check a woman's upper arms before contemplating marriage. Any fat at all and they will fight a losing battle with weight for most of their lives. Skinny upper arms and they're genetically guaranteed a diet-free life. They'll still be mental but one degree of crazy less

I discovered that when it was too late.

 

Barry "Slim Jim" Wom.

[lifetime fan]

I don't like being this size, i hate being this size, I've loads of really nice close for when I lose weight, it's too hard to lose weight so I'm going to have another fucking McDonalds.

 

And repeat.

[lifetime fan]

All the slags in work are doing these trendy diets constantly and yet not one of them loses any weight. Ever.

 

They piss me off so much every time I make drinks i always use full fat milk instead of skimmed in all their drinks. I know it won't make too much of a difference but it always cheers me up.

[dandyman]

Two hands you daft cow...

 

Where are the hands??

 

**checks picture again***

 

Nope can't see any hands in there!!

[lifetime fan]

All the slags in work are doing these trendy diets constantly and yet not one of them loses any weight. Ever.

 

They piss me off so much every time I make drinks i always use full fat milk instead of skimmed in all their drinks. I know it won't make too much of a difference but it always cheers me up.

You can't make this shit up, they're on low calorie hot chocolate this morning.

 

With fucking squirty cream and flakes.

 

I desperately need to get a new job!

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I made the switch to black coffee as I didn't like how much milk and sugar I was consuming through coffee alone. I haven't looked back. It's definitely an acquired taste, but once you have acquired said taste, there no other way!