The world of a woman.

[Bob]

 

From the Observer news story:

 

The fan responsible for the accident was brandishing a large cardboard sign with a message to her grandparents as she stood on the side of the road.

The spectator was facing away from the peloton, grinning obliviously to a TV camera, as she caused the crash.

 

[Rushies tash]

Whenever Insigne's name is mentioned in the corrent sporting tournament, Mrs Tash has taken to singing this:

 

 

Can't get the fucking thing out of my head now.

 

[Rico1304]

My missus had a long standing night out with her mates planned for tomorrow. I’d got myself ok with watching the football on my own and was quite looking forward to being able to call Kane a ‘fat tongued cunt’ with no fear of reproach. My mates are going to the cricket club but her do was arranged a long time ago.  
 

One of the women on the night out is now ill, so it’s been cancelled. I’ve just been informed we are now all going to another of her mates to watch the footy. With a load of blokes I don’t know and quite frankly don’t want to. Because the mates I’ve already got are going to the cricket club.   But if I go there she can’t go to her mates without me.  Why? 

[littletedwest]

Spoke to my mum last night she ended the conversation with " anyway you go bed Kev and rest in peace"

[VladimirIlyich]

51 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Spoke to my mum last night she ended the conversation with " anyway you go bed Kev and rest in peace"

I'm gutted your real name is not Ted.

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

My missus had a long standing night out with her mates planned for tomorrow. I’d got myself ok with watching the football on my own and was quite looking forward to being able to call Kane a ‘fat tongued cunt’ with no fear of reproach. My mates are going to the cricket club but her do was arranged a long time ago.  
 

One of the women on the night out is now ill, so it’s been cancelled. I’ve just been informed we are now all going to another of her mates to watch the footy. With a load of blokes I don’t know and quite frankly don’t want to. Because the mates I’ve already got are going to the cricket club.   But if I go there she can’t go to her mates without me.  Why? 

That’s a foot down moment mate. 

 

Just cook her breakfast in bed with a surprise bunch of flowers and say; 

 

Love; seriously, you want me there drinking in front of your friends?

 

Look at the starting XI

 

1: Short arm cunt

2: Fast useless cunt

3: Great at passing to the opposition cunt

4: You seen the size of his head cunt

5: You seen the size of his gut cunt 

6: Crab cunt

7: Chav cunt

8: T-Rex cunt

9: Can’t even speak cunt

10: Nice young lad wish we’d signed him

11: Look at the fucking state of that cunt! 
 

I’ll book your favourite restaurant for us next week. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

My missus had a long standing night out with her mates planned for tomorrow. I’d got myself ok with watching the football on my own and was quite looking forward to being able to call Kane a ‘fat tongued cunt’ with no fear of reproach. My mates are going to the cricket club but her do was arranged a long time ago.  
 

One of the women on the night out is now ill, so it’s been cancelled. I’ve just been informed we are now all going to another of her mates to watch the footy. With a load of blokes I don’t know and quite frankly don’t want to. Because the mates I’ve already got are going to the cricket club.   But if I go there she can’t go to her mates without me.  Why? 

Hahahaha fucking hell, good luck however it works out mate. She tried to get me to go to her brothers with his missus and some of her family for it. "Kids will be in bed" (Theirs, we don't have any) haha like fuck. I'm staying on my couch and swearing at the telly. 

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

Spoke to my mum last night she ended the conversation with " anyway you go bed Kev and rest in peace"

Hahaha! Just be glad you woke up to tell the story 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, lifetime fan said:

That’s a foot down moment mate. 

 

Just cook her breakfast in bed with a surprise bunch of flowers and say; 

 

Love; seriously, you want me there drinking in front of your friends?

 

Look at the starting XI

 

1: Short arm cunt

2: Fast useless cunt

3: Great at passing to the opposition cunt

4: You seen the size of his head cunt

5: You seen the size of his gut cunt 

6: Crab cunt

7: Chav cunt

8: T-Rex cunt

9: Can’t even speak cunt

10: Nice young lad wish we’d signed him

11: Look at the fucking state of that cunt! 
 

I’ll book your favourite restaurant for us next week. 

Hahahahaha

[niallers]

I get nagged by herself as much as any of us down trodden husbands on here, but when it comes to football, I made it clear from the very outset of our now 20 year relationship, that whenever the reds play, I'll be watching it on my terms,regardless. If that means on my own, with my brother and a few friends or now with my 11 year old lad. She's been well trained not to expect anything to take priority over that part of my life. That used to go for ireland matches too but we're beyond crap currently so that scenario doesn't need dealing with. 

There's no way I'd watch a game with strangers. Fuck that. As was said above, that's a foot down moment.

 

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/63e0ef12-5187-4bc9-a5ae-9ce9647a0bd1

[deiseach]

6 hours ago, niallers said:

I get nagged by herself as much as any of us down trodden husbands on here, but when it comes to football, I made it clear from the very outset of our now 20 year relationship, that whenever the reds play, I'll be watching it on my terms,regardless. If that means on my own, with my brother and a few friends or now with my 11 year old lad. She's been well trained not to expect anything to take priority over that part of my life. That used to go for ireland matches too but we're beyond crap currently so that scenario doesn't need dealing with. 

There's no way I'd watch a game with strangers. Fuck that. As was said above, that's a foot down moment.

 

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/63e0ef12-5187-4bc9-a5ae-9ce9647a0bd1

Another case where my wife is the opposite, in the sense that she can't get her head around me wanting to do my own thing when Liverpool are playing. I don't like watching them or listening to them as my stress levels go through the roof, so I like to do something productive like any DIY that needs doing or going for a walk. We've been together nearly 20 years as well and she still - still! - behaves as if this is a new thing. There was an occupational therapist in recently who said she was exactly the same as me and I thought great! Here is a local who has the same habits as me so maybe she'll understand where I'm coming from. But no, the very next game I reached for my coat and she asked me what I was doing, the Reds were on the box. 

[YorkshireRed]

10 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

My missus had a long standing night out with her mates planned for tomorrow. I’d got myself ok with watching the football on my own and was quite looking forward to being able to call Kane a ‘fat tongued cunt’ with no fear of reproach. My mates are going to the cricket club but her do was arranged a long time ago.  
 

One of the women on the night out is now ill, so it’s been cancelled. I’ve just been informed we are now all going to another of her mates to watch the footy. With a load of blokes I don’t know and quite frankly don’t want to. Because the mates I’ve already got are going to the cricket club.   But if I go there she can’t go to her mates without me.  Why? 

A diplomatic approach is required here.

 

Tell her to go fuck herself. 
 

(Don’t actually do this).

[Curly]

10 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

My missus had a long standing night out with her mates planned for tomorrow. I’d got myself ok with watching the football on my own and was quite looking forward to being able to call Kane a ‘fat tongued cunt’ with no fear of reproach. My mates are going to the cricket club but her do was arranged a long time ago.  
 

One of the women on the night out is now ill, so it’s been cancelled. I’ve just been informed we are now all going to another of her mates to watch the footy. With a load of blokes I don’t know and quite frankly don’t want to. Because the mates I’ve already got are going to the cricket club.   But if I go there she can’t go to her mates without me.  Why? 

Why couldn’t you go the cricket club when she was meeting her mates for the initial planned night out? 

[Harry Squatter]

My mate invited me to his when we played Milan in the 2007 Champions League final. My Mrs went but she understands footy so was just as animated as me and my mate. 

 

He invited a load of his neighbours round and their wives who didn't like or understand footy were there and were shaking their heads at me constantly swearing, jumping up and down and generally being pissed off at the result.

 

One was asking questions every 5 minutes then said I took it too seriously and her husband grabbed her and marched her out into the garden because he could see she was winding me up. 

 

I then got tons of messages off my Evertonian mates laughing and i proceeded to phone them all back calling them tramps laughing at someone losing their house keys. This woman was in genuine shock that a footy game could make people act like that. Even my Mrs told her to shut up if she had no idea what was going on.

[Section_31]

When passangers in the car, both my mother and wife start conversations just as I turn the car engine off and have one foot out the door. It's quite bizarre. 

[VladimirIlyich]

25 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

My mate invited me to his when we played Milan in the 2007 Champions League final. My Mrs went but she understands footy so was just as animated as me and my mate. 

 

He invited a load of his neighbours round and their wives who didn't like or understand footy were there and were shaking their heads at me constantly swearing, jumping up and down and generally being pissed off at the result.

 

One was asking questions every 5 minutes then said I took it too seriously and her husband grabbed her and marched her out into the garden because he could see she was winding me up. 

 

I then got tons of messages off my Evertonian mates laughing and i proceeded to phone them all back calling them tramps laughing at someone losing their house keys. This woman was in genuine shock that a footy game could make people act like that. Even my Mrs told her to shut up if she had no idea what was going on.

It's only when you stand back and read things like this that you realise what bellends WE are when it comes to footy. It makes no sense at all yet we just lose the plot over a load of,now millionaires,kick a plastic inflated ball around. That said,how could anybody get any type of fun out of shopping or looking at shoes? 

[Harry Squatter]

No matter how long they have to get ready, even if it is all day they will still keep you waiting once you are ready to go. There will always be something that delays them which keeps you waiting.

[Harry Squatter]

1 minute ago, VladimirIlyich said:

It's only when you stand back and read things like this that you realise what bellends WE are when it comes to footy. It makes no sense at all yet we just lose the plot over a load of,now millionaires,kick a plastic inflated ball around. That said,how could anybody get any type of fun out of shopping or looking at shoes? 

Or watching soap operas for years despite reading the plot lines in magazines weeks in advance.

[Rico1304]

3 hours ago, belarus said:

Why couldn’t you go the cricket club when she was meeting her mates for the initial planned night out? 

Madeline fucking Mccann. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

48 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

No matter how long they have to get ready, even if it is all day they will still keep you waiting once you are ready to go. There will always be something that delays them which keeps you waiting.

I have all my clothes ready, shit, shave and ready to go. When she says she is ready I get ready.

[lifetime fan]

6 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Madeline fucking Mccann. 

Let her have a nice sleep over with her grandparents. 

[sir roger]

When I used to watch the football in the Sefton and the Standard in West Derby , there were always a string of young girls in there with no interest in the match just spending the whole game parading past the screen to the toilets or bar hoping that the younger lads in there noticed them.

[Curly]

19 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Madeline fucking Mccann. 

Oh, haha. So now it’s a family excursion? Ouch

[Rico1304]

21 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Let her have a nice sleep over with her grandparents. 

I would but my old man has been in hospital this week. Selfish old bastard. 

[lifetime fan]

16 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I would but my old man has been in hospital this week. Selfish old bastard. 

Tell him you’ll send her with 4 tins of brown beer. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

2 hours ago, sir roger said:

When I used to watch the football in the Sefton and the Standard in West Derby , there were always a string of young girls in there with no interest in the match just spending the whole game parading past the screen to the toilets or bar hoping that the younger lads in there noticed them.

Was the H&H for me or the Alton not so many parading haha. The Birk House and the Lords in the Brook could be like the Sefton sometimes.