What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Total Longo]

3 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Stopped at a Premier Inn in darkest Sussex this week. The first morning I just had toast but the second, my responsibilities to this thread kicked in and I had a go.

 

It’s ‘eat as much as you like’ which is probably why the make it as unlikeable as possible. 

 

I’d clocked the bacon from the fruit juice terminal so left that to hardier souls than me. 
 

The sausages and poached eggs were ok.

 

Hash browns and beans were cold. 
 

The lady who served it was very jovial. Point off for that, it’s not fucking Butlins.

 

2/10.

 

 

The phrase "fruit juice terminal" lends this a gravitas that it frankly doesn't deserve. It's a dispenser.

 

Beans aside, that doesn't look that bad. A bit of pepper on the eggs wouldn't go amiss though. Also, I am dying to know what the issue with the bacon was though. Too raw? 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Total Longo said:

The phrase "fruit juice terminal" lends this a gravitas that it frankly doesn't deserve. It's a dispenser.

 

Beans aside, that doesn't look that bad. A bit of pepper on the eggs wouldn't go amiss though. Also, I am dying to know what the issue with the bacon was though. Too raw? 

It was coming out of a juice terminal. It’s about the only thing he did right

[Total Longo]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

It was coming out of a juice terminal. It’s about the only thing he did right

Tom Hanks was there encouraging him (in a dodgy eastern European accent) to get apple juice.  

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Total Longo said:

The phrase "fruit juice terminal" lends this a gravitas that it frankly doesn't deserve. It's a dispenser.

 

Beans aside, that doesn't look that bad. A bit of pepper on the eggs wouldn't go amiss though. Also, I am dying to know what the issue with the bacon was though. Too raw? 

If not raw, definitely undercooked. Pretty sure it would have been cold. 
 

The eggs were probably the best part. I’ve had worse eggs on superior breakfasts. 

[Total Longo]

15 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

If not raw, definitely undercooked. Pretty sure it would have been cold. 
 

The eggs were probably the best part. I’ve had worse eggs on superior breakfasts. 

I think I prefer scrambled eggs these days as i am having a running battle with those membrane-y things that you get in raw eggs now (i'm guessing it's the bit that sort of connects the yolk to the albumen?). I have to remove them, it's become an unhealthy obsession, as the thought of them knocks me sick. The downside is that both poached eggs and fried eggs then can have a tendency to go all over the place. Hence the scrambled eggs preference. I may have to go and cook something now....  

 

EDIT : Apparently it's called the chalaza. You learn something new every day. Anyway, I hate them.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Total Longo said:

I think i prefer scrambled eggs these days as i am having a running battle with those membrane-y things that you get in raw eggs now (i'm guessing it's the bit that sort of connects the yolk to the albumen?). I have to remove them, it's become an unhealthy obsession, as the thought of them knocks me sick. The downside is that both poached eggs and fried eggs then can have a tendency to go all over the place. Hence the scrambled eggs preference. I may have to go and cook something now....  

Eggs are superb but im now craving scrambled egg and all 

[Total Longo]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Eggs are superb but im now craving scrambled egg and all 

I'm going to cook a breakfast now. I may even post it on here, i'll see how delicate I feel once it's cooked. 

[Total Longo]

 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I'm going to cook a breakfast now. I may even post it on here, i'll see how delicate I feel once it's cooked. 

Im nervous 

[Captain Willard]

11 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I'm going to cook a breakfast now. I may even post it on here, i'll see how delicate I feel once it's cooked. 

Where is it ? Have you fucked it up ? 

[Elite]

4 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Where is it ? Have you fucked it up ? 

Takes longer than 10 minutes mate. Give the lad some time.

[YorkshireRed]

27 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I'm going to cook a breakfast now. I may even post it on here, i'll see how delicate I feel once it's cooked. 

This could make or break my day. 

[Total Longo]

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

[YorkshireRed]

Just now, Total Longo said:

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

 

54 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

This could make or break my day. 

Day broken. 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Total Longo said:

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

Yep that was worth the wait. Very nice looking. 

 

I do need to double check just for sanity, that is smoked bacon right? 

[Total Longo]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Yep that was worth the wait. Very nice looking. 

 

I do need to double check just for sanity, that is smoked bacon right? 

Of course, mate! Only deviants eat unsmoked bacon.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Total Longo said:

Of course, mate! Only deviants eat unsmoked bacon.

Phew. Enjoy brother 

[Total Longo]

I'm buzzing off how long Willard thinks it takes to cook a breakfast. 

[Elite]

4 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

Just needs beans, apart from that it looks like a good effort.

[Carvalho Diablo]

This award winning brekky looks phenomenal, but only 1 sausage? Fuck off.

 

[Total Longo]

Just now, Elite said:

Just needs beans, apart from that it looks like a good effort.

Normally i would throw in loads of toast on there, but no beans. It was sufficient for my needs, without the toast. The mushrooms were surprisingly ace, fried in butter with a bit of pepper 

[Total Longo]

2 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

This award winning brekky looks phenomenal, but only 1 sausage? Fuck off.

 

Is that the Channel 5 dog weirdo?

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Just now, Total Longo said:

Is that the Channel 5 dog weirdo?

 

Isn't that that Simon Jordan Talkshite Palace nonce?

[Total Longo]

I just don't know anymore, mate. I just don't know. 

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I'm buzzing off how long Willard thinks it takes to cook a breakfast. 

To be fair given the state of some of the bacon on here lately it's no surprise some might think it takes about 18 seconds