little things that annoy the shit out of you

[bouncebrigade]

People who are constantly clearing their throat.

 

Either quit fucking smoking 40 a day or get on some medication.

[Rico1304]

Office clowns. I'm working from another company's offices today and they've put me next to the office 'clown', so far he's made about 30 inappropriate smutty comments (it's not the fact they are inappropriate it's the fact they aren't funny), referred to people by obscure nicknames rant he's had to explain to his colleagues as they've no idea what he's on about and now is demanding chocolate from anyone walking passed as he's so busy and needs the energy. He might need the energy in a minute when I chuck him out of the window and he's swimming in the Thames.

[Mook]

See when someone is going to the coffee machine (I work in an office) & someone says 'I'll have a gin', 'can you get me a voddy', 'bit early for that' or something to that effect?

 

I want to burn down their house with them & their entire family in it.

 

Just fuck right off with that shit.

[Bjornebye]

"collateral"

 

You mean documents don't you? Thought so, now run into a spike. 

[A Red]

Eclectic. Who the fuck says that in real life?

[Carvalho Diablo]

Eclectic. Who the fuck says that in real life?

 

Eddie Grant ?

[manwiththestick]

Eclectic. Who the fuck says that in real life?

Dickheads on Facebook who say they have an eclectic taste in music because they like Mumford and sons and Calvin Harris.

[stringvest]

Dickheads on Facebook who say they have an eclectic taste in music because they like Mumford and sons and Calvin Harris.

 

they mean shit

[PestiRed]

Extremely eclectic myself. I'm happy to hate all sorts of different idiots

[Jose Jones]

The crusty bits of dry milk around the top of the bottle that fall off into your cup of tea.

[Bjornebye]

People who call an envelope and onvelope.

 

Nagga munchetty just said it twice on bbc news then. I launched my cereal at the telly. She is an annoying twat as is it without this caper

 

Have some alpen fucking lego ed

[PestiRed]

Alpen? Again? No wonder you're in a shitty mood. You know it's 23% sugar?

[Bjornebye]

Alpen? Again? No wonder you're in a shitty mood. You know it's 23% sugar?

Never noticed, bastards

[Trumo]

People who call an envelope and onvelope.

 

Nagga munchetty just said it twice on bbc news then. I launched my cereal at the telly. She is an annoying twat as is it without this caper

 

Have some alpen fucking lego ed

 

[stringvest]

People who call an envelope and onvelope.

 

Nagga munchetty just said it twice on bbc news then. I launched my cereal at the telly. She is an annoying twat as is it without this caper

 

Have some alpen fucking lego ed

 

you're eating shite that's why you're in a bad mood in the morning.  Too much sugar and milk powder, and too many e-numbers making you hyper and naughty.  

 

you watch too much Dave.

[magicrat]

Fucking cunts that park on motorway bridges to watch the traffic.

I swear to god some of them do it to look like speed traps . I suppose they could have a thing about people driving too fast  but the vast majority must have so little going on upstairs that this is entertainment for them . Trainspotting for brain -dead  morons that can't spot trains,

[Bobby Hundreds]

I can't remember what it was like when you had nothing to do and couldn't really think of anything to fill up that time with. Now you have the internet and a million tv channels or games consoles. If I sit down now I'll get my phone out or ipad I don't leave time for my own thoughts just constantly fill my mind with other people's opinions and bulshit. I don't use any of the social media sites like facebook or twitter yet I still waste huge amounts of time doing nothing constructive.

 

There was a time when I had a question and nobody I knew had the answer, I couldn't find out unless I went to the library or by chance asked the right person. Some shit I didn't find out for years and I'd go "oh yeah I always wondered about that". Now I can't even watch a programme without googling something during it like finding out who the fuck that fit extra is and with research.... xmen like research powers connecting dots finding out who she is how old she is and if she has naked pictures all with in 5 minutes whilst the missus is boiling the kettle.

 

I think ill book a holiday to somewhere with no internet connection, no tv ( that I can understand anyway ) and maybe meditate or some shit.

[stevebaby]

Data.

It's pronounced "day-tah"...not "dah-tah". Get it right or have your face torn off.

[Trumo]

Data.

It's pronounced "day-tah"...not "dah-tah". Get it right or have your face torn off.

 

We had a uni lecturer from Ireland who pronounced it like that too. Get it right or get the boat back byatch!

[Bjornebye]

Data.

It's pronounced "day-tah"...not "dah-tah". Get it right or have your face torn off.

Our old data girl was from new zealand called it "dah tah"

 

Its nearly as annoying as americans calling a route a "rowt"

 

Die of shit

[Liverpool lad]

Nothing more painful than repetitive office banter

[bouncebrigade]

People who think it's okay to park in the middle of the road so long as they have their hazard lights on.

[Tj hooker]

New Supermarkets that are about to open always put a sign up saying Your new Asda / Lidl is opening soon total fuckwits it's not my shop it's yours

[Hooch]

Probably said this before but people who buy EVERYTHING at the newsagents.

 

I just want to purchase my Echo and loaf of bread but I'm always stuck waiting behind some biff who is determined to spend all of their money on anything they lay their eyes on in vicinity of the tillpoint.

[Bjornebye]

Just had my first interview with HR over IT cunt’s (Andrew) grievance.

 

 I was asked had I over-heard any homophobic comments/jokes in the sales office. I replied ‘No’. I was then asked if I had been involved in any homophobic discussions to which I replied ‘No.’ Finally I was asked if I knew if (Lad who I sacked last month) was gay. My reply was “I wasn’t sure either way nor did it bother me to find out”. Fucking IT idiot as part of his grievance has claimed that the lad was sacked for being gay and that there is a homophobic culture in the office. I asked how Andrew knew the lad was gay and apparently he has written in the grievance “…. Was openly homosexual in the office and as such people should have been aware of this and treated him as such”

 

 Ok so firstly you fucking spreadsheet wanker, for him to be ‘openly gay’ would mean him bumming a man over one of the desks or sucking a cock in-front of everyone. If you are on about his mannerisms then for you to make an assumption that he is gay is mildly homophobic in itself. Secondly what the fuck has it got to do with you anyway? He didn’t work in your department and all this shite you are spouting is hear-say.

 

 As it happens , the sly cunt has contacted the lad who was sacked and sent him parts of the grievance with what he classes as ‘evidence’ that he was sacked for being gay. The fucking whopper has now got his own lawyers involved and is taking the company to court for discrimination !!!!

 Funny as fuck this. I have call recordings, performance reviews and stats to show that he was consistently under-target and also had a HR meeting a month after starting for excessive sickness. He was sacked because he didn’t pass his probation not for being gay.

 

 Even more annoyingly is the IT cunt is still working here and we can’t do anything about it whilst his grievance is being investigated.

 

 How can I annoy the cunt without getting caught out? I’m thinking semtex.