Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

[Vincent Vega]

This is a good opinion piece by Jonathan Liew in The Guardian.

 

Manchester United must finally dump Fergusonism and make a clean break

Club remain weirdly in thrall to a 79-year-old man who has not coached in almost a decade when a cultural reset is needed
 

It was a few months into David Moyes’s ill-fated reign at Manchester United, and with results in freefall and the dressing room in mutiny, Patrice Evra decided to go to see the only man he knew who could fix things.
 

“Boss, you have to help David,” he pleaded with Sir Alex Ferguson on a visit to his home in Cheshire.

 

Ferguson refused. “I’ve given him the biggest chance of his life,” he said. “I think it’s fair that I keep a distance and let him do his job.”

 

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this vignette – related in Evra’s recent autobiography – is its casualness. The fact Evra still referred to Ferguson as “boss”, or saw nothing remotely untoward in the fact he was going behind the back of his manager to appeal to his predecessor (and to do what, exactly?).

 

The fact Ferguson still regarded Moyes’s position as his own personal bequest. As things turned out, Moyes would not be the last United manager to learn that even when you have ascended to one of the biggest jobs in club football, you still answer to a higher power.

 

Ole Gunnar Solskjær has never made any secret of his reverence for his former manager. Pretty much from the moment he took over as caretaker he made it clear he intended to re-establish the Ferguson blueprint, piece by piece. He restored Ferguson’s beloved quiz nights. He ordered players to wear club suits before matches, as they had done in the Ferguson era. He brought Ferguson’s former assistant Mike Phelan back on to the coaching staff. He even refused to park his car in Ferguson’s old parking space at Carrington out of respect. “It just doesn’t feel right parking there,” he is reported to have told colleagues. “It’s still the gaffer’s place.”

 

And yet in recent weeks, as results have taken a downturn and his future at United has come under increasing scrutiny, Solskjær has discovered that positing oneself as the heir to Ferguson comes with pitfalls as well as benefits, particularly when the man himself is still hanging around the joint.

 

This month a video emerged of Ferguson criticising Solskjær’s decision to drop Cristiano Ronaldo for the game against Everton. “You should always start your best player,” Ferguson tells the former cage fighter Khabib Nurmagomedov. Then, during the 5-0 defeat against Liverpool last Sunday, came the face that launched a thousand memes.

 

Glowering up in the Old Trafford stands, Ferguson was unimpressed with what he was watching and seemed not to care who knew it.

 

On Tuesday, Ferguson made a rare appearance at the training ground. It is not known which parking space he used. Nevertheless, his presence itself was riotously open to interpretation: a show of support for Solskjær or an ominous sign, depending on which news website you read.

 

Within hours the club’s communications department had kicked into action, briefing friendly journalists that Ferguson’s visit was no more than a “suit fitting”.

Partly, of course, there is an element of media mischief to all this.

 

Equally, however, there is something essentially quite weird about the extent to which this global super-club still appear to be in thrall to a retired 79-year-old man who hasn’t coached a football team in almost a decade. It’s also a situation without any real precedent. Naturally Matt Busby at United and Bill Shankly at Liverpool continued to wield influence and cast a shadow on their successors long after they stepped down. But at least they weren’t having their reaction filmed every time Liverpool or United conceded a goal.

 

Officially, Ferguson is a club ambassador and a much-loved legend. Unofficially, he appears to be a sort of manager emeritus: his counsel keenly sought, his blessing greatly valued, his every utterance consecrated as if it were the word of the divine. This is a veneration that goes beyond simply celebrating and respecting the achievements of your greatest manager. Underpinning the enduring cult of Ferguson is the essentialist idea that his greatness can be bestowed by his presence alone. That the attributes and traits that made him such a brilliant coach can somehow be transmitted without him giving a single team talk or picking a single squad.

 

For a club struggling to match up their past with their future, desperate for short-term success and tiring of long-term promises, Fergusonism has an easy appeal. The logic goes something like this: Ferguson was the best coach, and United were the best team, and so all you have to do is crack the code to the Ferguson genome (or “United DNA”, as Solskjær so touchingly terms it), and world domination will inevitably follow.

 

In a way, each of United’s past four managerial appointments has been an attempt to reanimate Ferguson in a different bodily form. Solskjær was an effort to recreate the spirit and attacking ethos of the Ferguson era; José Mourinho the pragmatism and laser-focus on trophies; Louis van Gaal the schoolmasterly arrogance and magnetic personality; Moyes the Scottish work ethic. The result: three trophies in eight years. A possible conclusion: that your one-off genius was, in fact, a one-off genius.

 

And yet for many supporters, and even members of the club hierarchy, Fergusonism remains an article of faith, a reference point, United’s Rosetta stone, unquestioned and unquestionable. Naturally it is an impression the man himself has done little to deter, building his leadership brand to the tune of two books, an acclaimed documentary film and a teaching post at Harvard. Meanwhile, former United players in the media – many of whom knew little else but Ferguson – espouse his teachings as if they were universal truths, rather than a particular approach to a particular situation at a particular time.

Fergusonism is why United should always play with wingers. Fergusonism is why the ultimate responsibility always lies with the players. Fergusonism is why all managers deserve time, however bad things get. But what if everyone’s been doing it wrong? What if the real lesson of the Ferguson era was that in order to drive real change you need an apostate, a young visionary prepared to sweep everything away and build a club along new principles, from the academy upwards?

 

By now, we have probably all come to our own conclusion about whether Solskjær can be that man. In the meantime, it is probably worth reflecting on just what this drifting club need right now.

 

Never have United felt more in need of a clean break, a fresh start, a cultural reset, a new idea. Instead, they remain beguiled by the idea of reanimating the past: by the one magic switch that will flick everything back to the way it once was.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I'm kind of depleted when it comes to man United stories now, they really are the countries blonde hair blue eyed kid.

[Barrington Womble]

11 hours ago, Reckoner said:

Annoying that we have had next to zero praise for beating then. However, the week of introspective mourning from our world class neutral UK media has in some ways been quite hilarious.

I couldn't be less arsed about that. We've had a massive laugh, they have suffered badly and if they turn the telly on or read any sports press it's all about them and how shit they are. And if they want OGS to stay it's deeply painful. And if they want him gone, it's deeply painful because everything is about how shit he is but going nowhere. And in the mean time nobody is talking about our title credentials and being unbeaten in nearly 6 months, it's just OGS is shite. 

21 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

Southgate would be my absolute dream there’s just no way they would wait that long for him.

 

they should go for Bobby brown shoes too

Southgate is possibly one of the few "credible" appointments they could make that could bring someone with as little ability as OGS. It would be an absolute fucking dream. I can't believe england wouldn't come to an arrangement for the nations favourite team to let him take over in the summer and finish his england stint at the world cup. 

[Leyton388]

Looking forward to United v Spurs tomorrow in el Sackisco.

 

No way he survives if they get beat with city up next.

[Anubis]

Looking forward to Ronaldo finding out he’s in one of the three envelopes.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

18 minutes ago, Leyton388 said:

Looking forward to United v Spurs tomorrow in el Sackisco.

 

No way he survives if they get beat with city up next.

Tonight 5:30pm

 

Its win win, for us. If he loses we get so see his cringey post match interviews and the world laughing at how out of his depth he is, if he wins we get to enjoy the knowledge that he may have bought himself more time.

 

The best outcomes (that are actually possible) of course would be winning against spurs and sneaking a draw against City if City have an off day up front.

[JagSquared]

20 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

Tonight 5:30pm

 

Its win win, for us. If he loses we get so see his cringey post match interviews and the world laughing at how out of his depth he is, if he wins we get to enjoy the knowledge that he may have bought himself more time.

 

The best outcomes (that are actually possible) of course would be winning against spurs and sneaking a draw against City if City have an off day up front.

Two wins is prob too much to ask for but I reckon I’d struggle to control my erection if that happened.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

4 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

Two wins is prob too much to ask for but I reckon I’d struggle to control my erection if that happened.

 

Definitely think it's asking for much, but holy fuck it would be hilarious.

 

"Turned a corner", "The players have bought in", "Oles at the wheel"

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

I want to see Rodgers there just for the uproar when he produces 25 envelopes.

[Leyton388]

32 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

Tonight 5:30pm

 

Its win win, for us. If he loses we get so see his cringey post match interviews and the world laughing at how out of his depth he is, if he wins we get to enjoy the knowledge that he may have bought himself more time.

 

The best outcomes (that are actually possible) of course would be winning against spurs and sneaking a draw against City if City have an off day up front.

Even better. 

 

Yes like you said its win win. Also he's been retired for almost 10 years but Ferguson hanging round the club like a stale fart it also holding them back. Long may it continue.

 

Looking back this is a perfect example as to why Bob asked Shanks not to keep turning up at Melwood as he knew the negative effect it would have. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

5 minutes ago, Jimmy Hills Chin said:

I want to see Rodgers there just for the uproar when he produces 25 envelopes.

 

His dossier must be at least 500 pages by now.

[The Midnight Rambler]

whatever, you cheating cunt.

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

His dossier must be at least 500 pages by now.

He doesn't need a dosier, his teams performance this morning will tell everyone he'll fit right in in Salford. 

[Bjornebye]

Ferguson shouldn't have to stop going the game, they should have a manager with a pair of balls. him turning up at the training ground and stuff isn't right. Give it toe sucker 

[KMD7]

2 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

I couldn't be less arsed about that. We've had a massive laugh, they have suffered badly and if they turn the telly on or read any sports press it's all about them and how shit they are. And if they want OGS to stay it's deeply painful. And if they want him gone, it's deeply painful because everything is about how shit he is but going nowhere. And in the mean time nobody is talking about our title credentials and being unbeaten in nearly 6 months, it's just OGS is shite. 

Southgate is possibly one of the few "credible" appointments they could make that could bring someone with as little ability as OGS. It would be an absolute fucking dream. I can't believe england wouldn't come to an arrangement for the nations favourite team to let him take over in the summer and finish his england stint at the world cup. 

I'd almost be ok with England winning the World cup if it ensured his appointment to the Mancs.

[halewood pete]

[Bruce Spanner]

'Ole’s on the mic. “Excellent,” he tells Sky. “The experience came through. I was told that was the oldest team I’ve picked for Manchester United, and it was time for it, put it that way. I’ve been here three years now as manager, and Tuesday’s training performance by Edinson Cavani was probably the best training performance anyone’s put in here. So the old men led from the front. Ronaldo and Cavani play well together, and respect each other. The workrate and quality they put in is second to none. We probably got a man of the match performance from Scott McTominay, he was outstanding out there, unplayable. They all played really well. Cristiano Ronaldo, what a man, what a goal. We need consistency. We need this type of performance again and again and again.”

 

That's the stuff, Goblin, throw the kids under the bus, make sure they know their place.

 

Wonderful stuff.

 

I'd say he deserves until Ronaldo's ego runs dry.

[Anubis]

6 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

'I'd say he deserves until Ronaldo's ego runs dry.

So he’s there for eternity then..  

[Bruce Spanner]

The Gruniad being suitably snide...

 

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Ole is such a bellend. If he ever does get sacked I'd still enjoy it even though I know it may lead to United getting better purely because he's an arrogant little prick when he has very little reason to be, fucking sub bench player and a sub par manager.

[Elite]

Ole isn't playing the long game anymore, unless he plans to build his team around pensioners.

[johnsusername]

54 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

'Ole’s on the mic. “Excellent,” he tells Sky. “The experience came through. I was told that was the oldest team I’ve picked for Manchester United, and it was time for it, put it that way. I’ve been here three years now as manager, and Tuesday’s training performance by Edinson Cavani was probably the best training performance anyone’s put in here. So the old men led from the front. Ronaldo and Cavani play well together, and respect each other. The workrate and quality they put in is second to none. We probably got a man of the match performance from Scott McTominay, he was outstanding out there, unplayable. They all played really well. Cristiano Ronaldo, what a man, what a goal. We need consistency. We need this type of performance again and again and again.”

 

That's the stuff, Goblin, throw the kids under the bus, make sure they know their place.

 

Wonderful stuff.

 

I'd say he deserves until Ronaldo's ego runs dry.

Brilliant. As far as he's concerned he's solved the problem. He's such an ego-maniac he believes it as well. He probably thinks he's up there with Klopp and Guardiola. 

[Arniepie]

8 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Ferguson shouldn't have to stop going the game, they should have a manager with a pair of balls. him turning up at the training ground and stuff isn't right. Give it toe sucker 

The way sojkaskaar grovels to him Is beyond embarrassing. 

[Red_or_Dead]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

'Ole’s on the mic. “Excellent,” he tells Sky. “The experience came through. I was told that was the oldest team I’ve picked for Manchester United, and it was time for it, put it that way. I’ve been here three years now as manager, and Tuesday’s training performance by Edinson Cavani was probably the best training performance anyone’s put in here. So the old men led from the front. Ronaldo and Cavani play well together, and respect each other. The workrate and quality they put in is second to none. We probably got a man of the match performance from Scott McTominay, he was outstanding out there, unplayable. They all played really well. Cristiano Ronaldo, what a man, what a goal. We need consistency. We need this type of performance again and again and again.”

 

That's the stuff, Goblin, throw the kids under the bus, make sure they know their place.

 

Wonderful stuff.

 

I'd say he deserves until Ronaldo's ego runs dry.

Fucking hell.  He makes Rodgers sound like Mr Modesty.

 

 

[Arniepie]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

'Ole’s on the mic. “Excellent,” he tells Sky. “The experience came through. I was told that was the oldest team I’ve picked for Manchester United, and it was time for it, put it that way. I’ve been here three years now as manager, and Tuesday’s training performance by Edinson Cavani was probably the best training performance anyone’s put in here. So the old men led from the front. Ronaldo and Cavani play well together, and respect each other. The workrate and quality they put in is second to none. We probably got a man of the match performance from Scott McTominay, he was outstanding out there, unplayable. They all played really well. Cristiano Ronaldo, what a man, what a goal. We need consistency. We need this type of performance again and again and again.”

 

That's the stuff, Goblin, throw the kids under the bus, make sure they know their place.

 

Wonderful stuff.

 

I'd say he deserves until Ronaldo's ego runs dry.

Ha ha suoerb man management. 

Havent a fair few youth players come through the last few years?(rashford etc)

They read a list of the players he has bought the other day and apart from Fernandes and arguably cavani, it was shocking.

Didnt they pay £40odd million for that Dutch kid (van derby beek?)and he doesmt get a sniff?

Hopefully today's result will see him given a few more months.

Rodgers would probably do a decent job there.