Would you give your left bollock for this car?

[Captain Turdseye]

4 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Yeah, I had one a few months ago at 3 Sisters track out towards Wigan.

 

I got to drive in a selection of four cars ranging from old cars, TV themed cars or supercars, in all cases you're not allowed to go over a certain speed or out of second or third gear depending on the car.

 

Ah, I’m opening that Lambo up on the straight. I don’t care if they say you can’t go over 3rd. 
 

What did you drive?

[manwiththestick]

30 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Ah, I’m opening that Lambo up on the straight. I don’t care if they say you can’t go over 3rd. 
 

What did you drive?

3.0 litre Ford Capri

MK1 Mexico Escort.

Dodge Charger (modern version)

Mclaren (not sure what model)

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

I can do 120mph in my Peugeot 206 on the M6 toll. 
 

If they don’t let me go faster than that, then what’s the point?

[Captain Willard]

My 11 year old son and I went to one of these. He drove a Porsche Boxster at 110mph on the straight. I think some places are more liberal than others re how fast you can go. 

[Captain Turdseye]

It’s the Top Gear track, FFS. As if you’re not gonna be trying to get a fast lap in.

[Dr Nowt]

31 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I can do 120mph in my Peugeot 206 on the M6 toll. 
 

If they don’t let me go faster than that, then what’s the point?

Please put your Hello Kitty window covers up in the Lambo and get a photograph. 

[Megadrive Man]

On 17/05/2018 at 15:16, Captain Turdseye said:

My left bollock is definitely for sale, if the price is right.

 

Not sure I could afford the insurance on a brand new 370z but I’m happy to swap it for a top-end custom made snooker table. Being a bollock short would make certain shots a bit easier and I’d have 22 more balls to play with.

 

Did you ever get that snooker table? 

[Captain Turdseye]

9 minutes ago, Megadrive Man said:

 

Did you ever get that snooker table? 

Working on it, mate. Sending the boy to university with strict instructions not to show his face around here again until he’s rich enough to buy me a custom table and possibly a house for it to go in. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 17/05/2018 at 20:26, Strontium said:

I'm missing something here, because since when was there a market for second hand testicles?

This is still the most troubling question; who the fuck bought it and why?

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

This is still the most troubling question; who the fuck bought it and why?

 

Medical science innit. He let them give him Ebola for €5000. 
 

On 17/05/2018 at 22:40, Captain Turdseye said:

The kind of people who paid the same bloke $5,000 to be willingly infected with the Ebola virus.

 

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/las-vegas-man-excited-to-sell-testicle-for-35000-as-part-of-medical-trial-8922991.html

 

 

Fucking good money if you can get it. 

[Sweeney287]

Only done one but drove a Gallardo whilst the brother and father in laws chose a ferrari. Enjoyable but they ask for additional waiver insurance on the day which really plays on your mind "what if I crash it and end up with a massive bill" so stumped up the extra £20.

 

Also bought a rally experience one and have still yet to do it. Need to get back in touch with them and book that up. 

[clangers]

Prefer the 350Z to be honest, cleaner looking. A bit purer as well, if you can find one that hasn't been vandalised sorry modded.

[Jairzinho]

[cochyn]

12 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m going to the old Top Gear track tomorrow for one of those driving experiences. They keep emphasising that it’s a driving experience, not a racing experience.
 

Fuck that, I’m going with my boy and my bird’s dad. I want the best lap time. We got to choose three cars and we’ll do three laps in each. I’m using a Lambo Gallardo, a Ferrari F430 and a Jaguar F-Type. 
 

Can’t wait, man. Gonna be boss. Who else has done these track days. Sorry, driving experiences?

 

Great choice of metal there Cap'n. If they offer you extra laps in the car once you've done a few, take it on. They let you open it up a bit more once they know you can handle it. Enjoy!

 

[Clem H Fandango]

I would suppose that after donating a lefty ball, a bumblebee wouldn't make an adequate penis extension.

[Captain Turdseye]

Boss that. After every car, the instructors give you a score out of 40 based on how well you’ve driven. The boy got 35 and 36 in his first two goes. Me and his grandad were getting 32’s and 33’s. 
 

Kept telling him, god, it’s not a competition mate. We’re here to have fun driving these cars. And anyway, you’re young and handsome, we’re old and ugly, all these female instructors are gonna give you a better score every day of the week. 
 

My last turn was in the Lambo. You should have seen me strut when I stepped out of that car with 37 marked on my card. 
 

I’m not a total spaz yet. 
 

It’s not a competition anyway. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

I'd probably give my left bollock to be be able to get in and out of the fucker.

[Lee909]

Car are shite with one exception 

 

[tokyojoe]

7 hours ago, Lee909 said:

Car are shite with one exception 

 

I used to have the model of the DB5 with the ejector seat and bullet proof shield. If I'd have kept it in it's box it would be worth a mint now. Funny, didn't think of that when I was a kid.