Whats your shit like?

[ratcatcher]

I think Im a Type 2 or 3 but I'll have a closer look next time I bomb the bog.

 

 

Which poo do you do?

When doctors at a Bristol hospital found patients were reluctant to describe their faeces, medics devised the Bristol Stool Form Scale. The handy chart is now used all over the world to help patients open up (excuse the pun) with less embarrassment.

 

The perfect poo

What you should be looking for...

Type Four (above) is a sign of a healthy colon, but anything from Three to Five is acceptable. Poos should glide out smoothly, be light to medium brown, cause no discomfort, and be in one long shape. Movement should happen soon after you sit down, and if there is any sign of blood in the stool, see your GP immediately as it could be an indicator of cancer.

[Trumo]

* goes to add 'scatcatcher' tag *

 

* curses Dave for the lack of tagging *

[Chip Butty]

All of the above and in combinations if my guts are in the mood. 

[The Golden Eel]

Almost always 4 or 5 these days

[Carvalho Diablo]

My shit's all fuck up.

[JagSquared]

This is the GF we already have a thread on poo.

[ZonkoVille77]

This is the GF we already have a thread on poo.

I think this is ratcatcher trying to describe what he types rather than what he does in the bog

[JohnnyH]

I love a good scuttery rabbit poo one that comes out your backside like gunfire. It just feels nice and satisfying. I'd usually have a cup of coffee after that to celebrate.

[Liverpool lad]

Machine gunned the pan with a 6 on Saturday, spicy chippy meal sorted that right out

[Bob]

Used to commonly be 6 or 7, but since cutting carbs out if my diet I'm 3 or 4 all the time.

 

Think I night have a gluten intolerance.

[Dr Nowt]

Fired a couple of ramrod straight 4's into the bog today.  When that bridgehead passes the point of no return it's a beautiful thing.

[Bjornebye]

I know tomorrow's is gonna be a seven. Warm guts as I type.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/55973-poosflash/page-8

[Jonny83]

Mostly 2 and 3, with the occasional 6 after a particularly heavy night thrown in for good measure.

[Section_31]

Tend to be six these days, haven't had a 3 since I was about nine years old and look back on them fondly. 

[Adebisi]

Mine are a 4 since getting back into the habit of eating well with plenty of fruit and veg.

My mate has told me his are always nearly a 7 and has even found blood in them recently. He's only 22 so hopefully nothing serious but he still hasn't got himself to the docs.

[The_Goat]

erratic

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Mine are a 4 since getting back into the habit of eating well with plenty of fruit and veg.

 

My mate has told me his are always nearly a 7 and has even found blood in them recently. He's only 22 so hopefully nothing serious but he still hasn't got himself to the docs.

 

No harm but if you don't go to the docs with constant and bloody runs, your cause of death will be 'natural selection'. Give him a kick up the arse to go. Not with white trainers on, obviously.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Mainly type 5 with the odd 4 thrown in. 

[ratcatcher]

Mine are a 4 since getting back into the habit of eating well with plenty of fruit and veg.

 

My mate has told me his are always nearly a 7 and has even found blood in them recently. He's only 22 so hopefully nothing serious but he still hasn't got himself to the docs.

 

Fucking hell, you need to get him to the docs pronto. It might only be piles which are bad enough but still needs to be looked (!) at. He might even have a nice lady doctor shoving her finger up his starfish.

[Adebisi]

No harm but if you don't go to the docs with constant and bloody runs, your cause of death will be 'natural selection'. Give him a kick up the arse to go. Not with white trainers on, obviously.

 

 

Fucking hell, you need to get him to the docs pronto. It might only be piles which are bad enough but still needs to be looked (!) at. He might even have a nice lady doctor shoving her finger up his starfish.

I've just told him he might have a parasite that'll eat his innards and he seems to be warming to the idea of going.

 

I've had a case of the piles before. It came at the worst time as well as I'd finally persuaded my girlfriend to give me a rimjob but I couldn't let her go through with it after seeing the state of it. That's what you get for holding in hangover poos on a 5 hour bus journey. When I finally went for  shit it was like an American football coming out sideways.

[Hades]

If I could shit type 2's without having piles I'd take that. Nothing like single wipe for efficiency. Most times I'm 5 or 6 and going broke on bogroll.

[ZonkoVille77]

I've just done one that shouted "ya bastard" at me as it dropped. Fucking 5 stone job, 4 days worth of goods.

[Fowlers God]

I am a solid 7 at the min (no pun intended) my arse is so sore and I feel like fucking shit. I'm going every half an hour and can't even keep a sip of water down. On the upside I'm already on holiday so don't have to use any sick time and could do with losing some weight.

 

Sent from my C5303 using Tapatalk

 

 

[Fowlers God]

I'm pretty fucking poorly now. Can't hold down the sip of water I'm having between every bowel movement.

 

So glad there is sudocream in the house because there have been some wimpers the last couple of wipes