Have you got a claim to fame???

[Caramac]

I once went in the Cabbage Hall for a pre match bevy and Paul Usher was in there.

 

Thats it.

[Dr Nowt]

I once saw Nikki Shadwick, from Brookside, in Drome Menswear on Bold Street and had a wank when I got home.

Can't compete with that, Tone.

 

Cap doffed.

[TheHowieLama]

I once went in the Cabbage Hall for a pre match bevy and Paul Usher was in there.

 

Thats it.

 

Wrong thread dumbass.

[Caramac]

Wrong thread dumbass.

 

[stringvest]

I owned the first pair of trousers in my family. 

[Arl arse]

My Brother lives in Ft Mcmurray in Alberta Canada, I was over visiting him in 1992 and he took me to his friends house for a party, I got talking to a beautiful blonde named Natasha who took pity on me because I didn't know anyone and she liked my Liverpool accent. I thought I was in with a chance of nobbing her as she was laughing at all my jokes and didn't seem to mind me having the odd glance at her heaving cleavage.

That was until she introduced me to her fella ten minutes later and my hopes and dreams of a drunken pity fuck with a stunning Canadian bird where crushed.

 

Natasha Henstridge you fuckin Prick tease, I'll never forgive you.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

I once got elbowed in the head by Jan Molby.

[aRdja]

I once saw Nikki Shadwick, from Brookside, in Drome Menswear on Bold Street and had a wank when I got home.

Cunt wank.

[ZonkoVille77]

I once called Steve Staunton a marshmallow headed cunt cos he wouldn't sign a programme for me. That count?

[Barnesey]

I megged Alan Kennedy during a training session he ran for saddos like me.

 

I also sidestepped Martin Johnson and left him on his arse

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I owned the first pair of trousers in history.

No surprise there.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I once called Steve Staunton a marshmallow headed cunt cos he wouldn't sign a programme for me. That count?

I saw Steve Bruce at Euston Station after Hull had drawn at Arsenal. I was drunk enough to think I was being nice when I said "Good result today, Wonky Nose."

 

He was unimpressed.

[Dr Nowt]

I once called Steve Staunton a marshmallow headed cunt cos he wouldn't sign a programme for me. That count?

Yes.

 

I walked right past Andy Townsend outside Bournemouth's ground after watching our FA Cup tie there in 2014, and having involuntarily said "Oh, it's Andy Townsend" out loud, he and I shared an awkward few seconds of him looking at me like I was an autograph hunter, before I said "Just look at the fucking nose on it", and he realised I wasn't.

 

She'd come with me and turned a brighter shade of maroon.

[stringvest]

I had a brief chat with Martin Keown a few weeks ago in a greasy spoon outside Arsenal's ground.  He's slimmer and more handsome in the flesh.  Diametrically opposed to me. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Played hide and seek amongst other things with a female ex BBC News presenter. Got picked for the school team by Craig Charles. Signed up John Barnes to a membership of a video club. Built a wall for an ex Liverpool player. Broke my wrist as a kid and sat next to Graeme Souness in Alder Hey chatting for half an hour.

All true except the wall bit. I just did the labouring.

 

Got a few others too.

[suzy]

I almost got squashed under Big Daddy's armpit! I was about 10 years old....

[SammyAftershave]

I had a brief chat with Martin Keown a few weeks ago in a greasy spoon outside Arsenal's ground.  He's slimmer and more handsome in the flesh.  Diametrically opposed to me. 

 

[Arl arse]

I almost got squashed under Big Daddy's armpit! I was about 10 years old....

Have you informed operation Yew Tree?

[Strontium]

More like Operation Yew Fat Bastard

[suzy]

Have you informed operation Yew Tree?

 

Ooh err - well it was in the 70's!

[Ginny]

One of my mates got a chew from Danielle Lloyd behind the 051

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I met Louis Spence on a train back from London, I was a bit pissed so decided to have my picture taken with him. It's a close call, but I think he looks slightly more camp than I do.

John Conteh gave me a headache tablet on a train back from London.

 

 

Mike Oldfield shouted at me in 1983.

[TheHowieLama]

Mike Bloomfield once asked me to turn down

[Josef Svejk]

I once got to take a penalty against Pat Jennings. I put it wide.

 

You've got to make him make a save...

[Furmedge]

I once asked Phil Thompson if he'd do me a deal on a fireplace at his shop when I saw him in a lift. Cornered him you see, that's the secret.