Have a rant thread

[Juniper]

 

Result.

 

My favourite she's come out with was 'I need you to be strong for me but if you cried I'd know you cared'.

 

Which fucking is it woman?

 

They haven't got a clue what they want.

 

All madder than a box full of monkeys. Every one of them.

[Juniper]

 

So you went home with TWO plant pots then!

 

Bought some stuff for the pets, the food I got from The Asda where she dropped me off and sped off leaving me there wont be seen by her.

 

It never existing

 

*taps nose*

[lifetime fan]

Bought some stuff for the pets, the food I got from The Asda where she dropped me off and sped off leaving me there wont be seen by her.

 

It never existing

 

*taps nose*

 

 

Wasn't it her that went mental because you had a take away or something when she wasn't there?

[Juniper]

 

Wasn't it her that went mental because you had a take away or something when she wasn't there?

 

The very same, went mental at me for buying a sarnie and a samosa from a corner shop (after working over hours) hours before she herself got home.

 

Don't get me wrong, she's the nicest person I know but when she's in THAT type of mood it's like I'm living with satan himself and I can't be...

 

...I'm making a bad move aren't I.

[Pony Princess]

There is a gay arse twitter meme going round at the moment which is 'mfw (my face when) mom has been to the shops and the refrigerator is full'

 

Yeah, they take a picture when their mum/mom has been to the store and the fridge is full of food they can chow down on.

 

Tim Berners Lee.. is this what you wanted? I know it wasn't. I love you man, and I'm sorry that when you will die you will roll.. Roll, roll, roll in your grave. You never wanted the internet to become this, you couldn't have prevented it.

 

Christ almighty, I'm in my 30's and in ten years time when everyone on the internet is a fucking foetus with a USB interface or edgy teen it is going to be depressing as fuck. They are going to be talking about spazzy shit no-one gives a fuck about and when we tell them to shut the fuck up they are going to say 'fuck off grandpa, you just don't get it'.

[mattyq]

What is this mom you speak of?

[Pony Princess]

What is this mom you speak of?

 

I think it is american speak for mum.

[lifetime fan]

The very same, went mental at me for buying a sarnie and a samosa from a corner shop (after working over hours) hours before she herself got home.

 

Don't get me wrong, she's the nicest person I know but when she's in THAT type of mood it's like I'm living with satan himself and I can't be...

 

...I'm making a bad move aren't I.

 

 

That was it.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Seeing mega fit birds walking around in the sun bouncing, i just want them all, i want to be a tyrant dictator who just picks woman of the street because i can. If i was superman with his powers Jesus Christ id abuse it, thank whatever god of your choosing that im not. These sportsmen/celebrities who are married such as Beckham are you fucking stupid you could walk through town selecting pussy at will because almost every woman is an absolute slag for fame and would probably drop their knickers infront of their husbands fir you to bang them. You have the golden ticket and you fucking waste it, shame on you sirs shame on you. So er..yeah i want all the womens. I walk through town like im dying of thirst and women are ice cold bottles of water, theyre great aren't they.

[RedBrian84]

Adverts. Shit fucking adverts.

 

The Werther's Original one: "I remember when I went to my favourite caramel shop..."

 

What the fuck? A caramel shop? There are enough to have a fucking favourite one?

 

And don't get me started on that whispering woman from Secret fucking Escapes.

[Pureblood]

People, I call them people when really they're fucking bastards, who request "read receipts" for their emails. FUCK OFF!!! Are you one of them? I bet you are. Isn't your inbox just full of shitty "read receipts"? Arsehole.

[Liverpool lad]

People' date=' I call them people when really they're fucking bastards, who request "read receipts" for their emails. FUCK OFF!!! Are you one of them? I bet you are. Isn't your inbox just full of shitty "read receipts"? Arsehole.[/quote']

 

Probably the same cunts who take charge of the heating controls and turn the place into a sauna

[Remmie]

On a hot bus in Lviv in Ukraine due to it being a sunny day and absolutely crammed with people. Some middle aged hag insists the window be shut because it is cold. Body odour all over the shop and people sweating like pigs, yet the snake blooded hag is somehow cold. I lost my temper a bit and told her nice jacket, why don't you wear it, clearly miming how to put a jacket on in case she didn't understand me. I was lying of course as it was a hideous denim number and meant she would have gone double denim.

[Trumo]

Seeing mega fit birds walking around in the sun bouncing, i just want them all, i want to be a tyrant dictator who just picks woman of the street because i can. If i was superman with his powers Jesus Christ id abuse it, thank whatever god of your choosing that im not. These sportsmen/celebrities who are married such as Beckham are you fucking stupid you could walk through town selecting pussy at will because almost every woman is an absolute slag for fame and would probably drop their knickers infront of their husbands fir you to bang them. You have the golden ticket and you fucking waste it, shame on you sirs shame on you. So er..yeah i want all the womens. I walk through town like im dying of thirst and women are ice cold bottles of water, theyre great aren't they.

 

Reading that makes me wonder if that is really you in your avatar.

[Liverpool lad]

On a hot bus in Lviv in Ukraine due to it being a sunny day and absolutely crammed with people. Some middle aged hag insists the window be shut because it is cold. Body odour all over the shop and people sweating like pigs' date=' yet the snake blooded hag is somehow cold. I lost my temper a bit and told her nice jacket, why don't you wear it, clearly miming how to put a jacket on in case she didn't understand me. I was lying of course as it was a hideous denim number and meant she would have gone double denim.[/quote']

 

Lviv is boss though

[Pony Princess]

I've ranted about about it before but Halifax.. oh you fucking cunts.. getting the most generically aesthetic of your staff to form a choir and sing songs like 'I'll be there'... You fucking got your bog standard fucking drones and got them to sing that in an advert.

 

"Given our demographic, our campaign will show that Halifax is a caring brand. The demographic can associate with us, we can show that Halifax will care."

 

You fucking cunts. And they know that some mongs will believe it. Otherwise why would they do adverts like that and keep on doing them?

 

"Did you see that advert where the staff are all singing? :) that was nice! They will help us with our mortgage! They are here to help us!"

 

Fucking hell.

[Red Soul]

I've ranted about about it before but Halifax.. oh you fucking cunts.. getting the most generically aesthetic of your staff to form a choir and sing songs like 'I'll be there'... You fucking got your bog standard fucking drones and got them to sing that in an advert.

 

"Given our demographic, our campaign will show that Halifax is a caring brand. The demographic can associate with us, we can show that Halifax will care."

 

You fucking cunts. And they know that some mongs will believe it. Otherwise why would they do adverts like that and keep on doing them?

 

"Did you see that advert where the staff are all singing? :) that was nice! They will help us with our mortgage! They are here to help us!"

 

Fucking hell.

 

Oh,and try getting a loan off the lying cunts!.I bank with Natwest of RBS fame,who spunked all their cash into the gutter then begged the government for a bailout.They have the fucking audacity to turn me down for a fucking loan.Who the fuck are these simpletons actually lending to?.Burn them,Burn them with very hot fire!.

[Pony Princess]

Oh,and try getting a loan off the lying cunts!.I bank with Natwest of RBS fame,who spunked all their cash into the gutter then begged the government for a bailout.They have the fucking audacity to turn me down for a fucking loan.Who the fuck are these simpletons actually lending to?.Burn them,Burn them with very hot fire!.

 

Yeah but they got their staff to sing in a choir. They must be ok, right?

[Pidge]

Speaking of adverts.

 

Rowntrees Randoms. Shit, outdated gimmick and one the most irritating marketing campaigns of all time just got much worse. Fuck off you parrot cunt! On what level was this conceived as anything other than deeply obnoxious?

[Red Soul]

Yeah but they got their staff to sing in a choir. They must be ok, right?

 

You would think so wouldnt you,but when Rebecca promised to call me back last month after my loan application was "referred"...and fucking didnt?,I saw the choir for what they actually were.Cloven hoofed Crowley groupies in suits.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Those "free" magazines they give out. Shortlist and Stylist for the ladies.

 

In monetary terms it is free but you have to flick through 70% adverts and then get a hilarious article about how funny being a man is in metrosexual britain and then read about the top 10 cognacs and top 20 ball-hair-removers

 

Fuck off, I'd rather read that free-thought-robbing rag the Metro

[Reacher]

I've ranted about about it before but Halifax.. oh you fucking cunts.. getting the most generically aesthetic of your staff to form a choir and sing songs like 'I'll be there'... You fucking got your bog standard fucking drones and got them to sing that in an advert.

 

"Given our demographic' date=' our campaign will show that Halifax is a caring brand. The demographic can associate with us, we can show that Halifax will care."

 

You fucking cunts. And they know that some mongs will believe it. Otherwise why would they do adverts like that and keep on doing them?

 

"Did you see that advert where the staff are all singing? :) that was nice! They will help us with our mortgage! They are here to help us!"

 

Fucking hell.[/quote']

 

I agree, they have just given me a mortgage though. *smily thing*

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

People you work with,in their 30s or 40s, never married,still live at home,don't bet booze or bird/ bloke it up,love soaps,Facebook,never go on holiday saying 'am counting the days till payday/thanks gawd it's payday'!! Erm why? Your wages have been accruing for month's/ years!! So the rant is folk that kid on they are skint!!-

[Pony Princess]

I agree, they have just given me a mortgage though. *smily thing*

 

Made up for you, but next time you pay interest on that - did you know that usury is a sin? According to old biblical teachings there is a special place in hell for those who commit usury (the practice of making unethical or immoral loans). Dante's inferno shows that usuary shares the same level of hell as sodomites which I think is a bit harsh. Sodomites are alright.

 

 

Essentially, what I am saying is that if there is a God, anyone who lends money is going to hell. Feels good man.

[Reacher]

 

Made up for you' date=' but next time you pay interest on that - did you know that usury is a sin? According to old biblical teachings there is a special place in hell for those who commit usury (the practice of making unethical or immoral loans). Dante's inferno shows that usuary shares the same level of hell as sodomites which I think is a bit harsh. Sodomites are alright.

 

Essentially, what I am saying is that if there is a God, anyone who lends money is going to hell. Feels good man.[/quote']

 

Cheers la, haha. I wasn't aware of that. I'm a hedge your bets sort of man (coward.) Looks like 99% of the population is going to suffer eternal damnation.