What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Chip Butty]

Spuds have never been part of a full brecky, in ours, never.

 

Go to London and the dirty bastards want to put chips on your brecky, yanks try these hash brown shite mild beermat things and some trampy bastards try and put little square roasties on  your plate.

 

 

No fucking wonder I fucked meat off if you cunts are putting veg next to it in a totally inappropriate fashion and, time of day. 

[cloggypop]

Brian's Diner used to give you chips. They were always on a separate plate though. Optional.

 

Brian's was fucking superb though. Quite possibly the most lost gem of Liverpool.

[cloggypop]

.

[Karl_b]

Spuds have never been part of a full brecky, in ours, never.

 

Go to London and the dirty bastards want to put chips on your brecky, yanks try these hash brown shite mild beermat things and some trampy bastards try and put little square roasties on your plate.

 

 

No fucking wonder I fucked meat off if you cunts are putting veg next to it in a totally inappropriate fashion and, time of day.

A potato rant from Chip Butty. Super.

[aRdja]

I’m up in Newcastle for a stag... got a full English this morning by the quay.. now I fully understand your gripes re London offering..

 

£5.95

 

[Anny Road]

I’ve eaten worse. But not great.

Beans runny.

Toms can fuck off.

Farmfoods sausages and hash browns and Black.

Sausages look deep fried. Only excepable in the chippy.

Eggs just passable. Bacon needs longer.

£5.95 is prob why.

[aRdja]

I’ve eaten worse. But not great.

Beans runny.

Toms can fuck off.

Farmfoods sausages and hash browns and Black.

Sausages look deep fried. Only excepable in the chippy.

Eggs just passable. Bacon needs longer.

£5.95 is prob why.

You’re dead to me

[mgw100]

I'm a bit late to all this but I do love a breakfast so for no other reason than the wife has taken the kids out, here's my dos and don'ts...

 

A Big Plate - some of you lot seem to eat ridiculous amounts of food, I must have a little sparrow type stomach in comparison. That's up to you.  However, what I can't accept is lots of food on a plate too small to handle it. Everything piled on top of each other - not good. So, you need a 'big plate'. I have two that I only really use for breakfasts.

 

Generally, I always cook up the following:

 

2 x rashers of back bacon, grilled until the fat has just gone crisp but meat is still tender. It needs to be thick cut and with minimal water content, so best to purchase from a butcher. Smoked is preferable but not that arsed if it's not.

 

2 x pork sausages. No herbs, thank you, just a decent pork content and well seasoned. Again, bought from a butcher. I prefer these to be fried with a slight crisp to the skin. 

 

2 x black pudding. The rings are better than sliced usually but it seems hard to get them nowadays, so decent quality ones from the butcher should be alright. Stornaway is pretty safe. If I'm frying these, I'm careful not to use much oil, as greasy black pudding ruins the flavour. Definitely do not overcook, that's criminal, black pudding needs to be soft, not crispy.

 

2 x fried eggs - soft yolk, ether from a brief turn or spooning fat. Usually the former as I just use a very small amount of butter in a separate pan to anything else being fried. Pan is very hot to crisp the bottom. I don't like any fat or oil other than butter to be involved in the preparation of my egg. I'd consider poached eggs, reluctantly, but scrambled can fuck off.

 

Mushrooms - fried quickly in lots of butter and pepper. Leave the cooking to the end and don't fuck about otherwise they release all their liquid and then sort of poach. Not nice

 

Grilled tomatoes - i like them to go quite mushy. Needs salt and pepper prior to cooking. I actually don't mind a tinned plum tomato as long as the extraneous juice is removed before serving

 

Beans - just a small amount and cooked right down. If I had to forego an item, it would be beans, but as long as it isn't infiltrating upon other breakfast items, then they add a pleasant moisture and sweetness, especially at mop stage.

 

2 or 3 bits of soft white bread, heavily buttered.

 

Orange Juice, with coffee once the eating is done. I don't like mixing hot drinks with food.

 

I don't cook the following:

 

Hash Browns - would probably chuck one on at a hotel breakfast but would never cook them up as they add little

 

Potato Scones - see Hash Browns - popular up here in Scotland but pretty drab

 

Chips - never

 

Fried Bread - liked my mum's but can't seem to get the balance right of greasy/dry, either when cooking myself or eating out. Too much hassle

 

Toast - bread is better

 

Tea - yawn

 

Might post a pic, next time I do one.

[Numero Veinticinco]

As with Anny's post plus where's the toast. Decent amount for the cost, but 6.4/10.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Ardja's best effort yet.

 

Where about's on the Quayside are you pal ?

[Anny Road]

Ardja's best effort yet.

Where about's on the Quayside are you pal ?

That’s like saying Karius’ best game.

[Carvalho Diablo]

That’s like saying Karius’ best game.

Haha, damned by faint praise indeed!

[Fugitive]

I’m up in Newcastle for a stag... got a full English this morning by the quay.. now I fully understand your gripes re London offering..

 

£5.95

 

Fucking hell.

 

Have Iceland opened cafes in their stores?

 

Next time, ask them to actually cook the bacon.

 

Shite.

[aRdja]

Ardja's best effort yet.

 

Where about's on the Quayside are you pal ?

Venue opposite Quay Ingridients

[Fugitive]

P.S. was the chef a woman? It seems she may have menstruated on you plate at the bottom.

[Fugitive]

[Anny Road]

Are we under nuclear attack?

[Carvalho Diablo]

Would demolish but badly in need of some moisture.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Holy dry breakfast batman. Best toast I've seen on here, though. Your pan was too hot when you cooked that stuff.

 

Breakfast: 4/10

Toast: 9/10

[Fugitive]

Are we under nuclear attack?

Sorry Mr ‘I get my sausages straight from the pigs arsehole via my farmer friend who shags chickens’

[Fugitive]

The mushrooms were nice and moist, the sausages were dripping with juice when you bit into them, the bacon was grilled to burn the fat but the meat was still soft, the black pudding was ok but the Lorne sausage was shite.

 

Toast was superb.

[Captain Turdseye]

“Ooh, look at me. I’ve got a car”

 

Pathetic.

[Carvalho Diablo]

“Ooh, look at me. I’ve got a car”

 

Pathetic.

Hahaha!

[Elite]

Stick some beans on it and it would be decent. Does look like it's been rescued by Fireman Sam though.

[Fugitive]

“Ooh, look at me. I’ve got a car”

 

Pathetic.

Yeah, love to show off about having a fucking Ford.