What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Fugitive]

Stick some beans on it and it would be decent. Does look like it's been rescued by Fireman Sam though.

Beans and Tomatoes are dirty horrible twat cunts!!!

[lifetime fan]

Holy dry breakfast batman. Best toast I've seen on here, though. Your pan was too hot when you cooked that stuff.

 

Breakfast: 4/10

Toast: 9/10

 

 

USHER!!!!

 

How do you put these know nothing cunts on ignore?

[Numero Veinticinco]

What I love most about the anti beamers is the fucking STATE of their breakfasts. The state of them. I want to see one from the ring leader himself, Remmie. That'd be a fucking treat.

[lifetime fan]

 

Don’t eat eggs or mushrooms so won’t comment.

 

Sausages? Gone too far - I know what you were hoping for with the crispy edge and soft centre but you fucked it.

 

Bacon? Looks cheap and thin - it’s why you don’t have all the fat crispy and the rest looks dry and shit.

 

Black pudding? Looks like you bought it in the corner shop with the happy shopper brown sauce you were going to try and rescue everything after you’d burnt it all.

 

Warm bread? Get out of fucking town!

 

 

 

 

The only positive I can come up with that is I’m impressed you can shit in squares.

[Numero Veinticinco]

USHER!!!!

 

How do you put these know nothing cunts on ignore?

Col, the state of your toast was absolutely fucking horrendous, my love. Shameful, it was.

[lifetime fan]

Col, the state of your toast was absolutely fucking horrendous, my love. Shameful, it was.

 

If you want warm bread go for it sweet cheeks.

 

I’ll have ‘toast’ thanks.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

What I love most about the anti beamers is the fucking STATE of their breakfasts. The state of them. I want to see one from the ring leader himself, Remmie. That'd be a fucking treat.

If they're anything like his interpretation of pizza, I'd rather be sheltered from it.

[Numero Veinticinco]

It's more well done than yours!!!!!

[Numero Veinticinco]

If they're anything like his interpretation of pizza, I'd rather be sheltered from it.

That's with the courts. I can't comment at the moment.

[lifetime fan]

That's with the courts. I can't comment at the moment.

 

You really are a lefty, pussy, liberal letting him go to the courts before execution after that shit!

[Numero Veinticinco]

You really are a lefty, pussy, liberal letting him go to the courts before execution after that shit!

I didn't call the police, he did. He feared for his life so handed himself in.

[lifetime fan]

I didn't call the police, he did. He feared for his life so handed himself in.

 

I hope it was southern American cops and he was dressed as batman when they turned up.

[lifetime fan]

It's more well done than yours!!!!!

 

Is it fuck! You need new eyes as well as taste buds.

[Numero Veinticinco]

I hope it was southern American cops and he was dressed as batman when they turned up.

He's slumming in the Ecuadorian embassy. Assange said, 'fuck this, im out'.

[Fugitive]

Don’t eat eggs or mushrooms so won’t comment.

 

Sausages? Gone too far - I know what you were hoping for with the crispy edge and soft centre but you fucked it.

 

Bacon? Looks cheap and thin - it’s why you don’t have all the fat crispy and the rest looks dry and shit.

 

Black pudding? Looks like you bought it in the corner shop with the happy shopper brown sauce you were going to try and rescue everything after you’d burnt it all.

 

Warm bread? Get out of fucking town!

 

 

 

 

The only positive I can come up with that is I’m impressed you can shit in squares.

It was a rush job. Had nothing in and shot around to Morrison’s this morning and grabbed a few bits.

[General Dryness]

“Ooh, look at me. I’ve got a car”

 

Pathetic.

Yeah, look at him showing off his furniture and eating utensils as well. The big posh nob.

 

What's up with a big upturned cardboard box, an old floor tile and a knitting needle? The GF has gone fucking soft.

[Anny Road]

Fugitive has another go

[Numero Veinticinco]

Fugitive has another go

Perfect time to put the egg on.

[Chip Butty]

Brecky's are meant to set you up for the day - not dehydrate you, overdose you with carbon and give you piles as you have no moisture left in your body so you shit sand. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Throw in a couple of cream crackers and you're golden.

[Tony Moanero]

Tomatoes are boss.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Tomatoes are boss.

[Remmie]

What I love most about the anti beamers is the fucking STATE of their breakfasts. The state of them. I want to see one from the ring leader himself, Remmie. That'd be a fucking treat.

As previously stated I'd do well to get 2 or 3 out of 10 for many reasons. Firstly as a vegetarian I'm already onto a losing battle, secondly I've never cooked a full English, thirdly the bean groomers would get their revenge neg on and point out there is no bacon in faux surprise, fourthly I'd struggle to get enough variety of items on a plate.

 

Fuge's breakfast was patently far superior to Ardja's geordie breakfast, your showing your agenda in your ratings.

[Numero Veinticinco]

The fact you think that dry abomination with a piss poor egg was better shows your lack of authority on the subject.

 

Go on though, diva fry up de la Rem just for the crack.

[Captain Turdseye]

Just make some beans on toast, Rem. You’ll walk away with +ve rep.