Captions needed for next issue...

[xerxes]

 

Originally there was an entire man, but I ate him, leaving only the boot.

[xerxes]

 

"Luis, that Ivanovic is a tasty defender."

[Jairzinho]

 

Luis Suarez celebrates his 20 game ban for cutting off Jay Spearing's foot.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

 

Metal defenders - a novel way to get more iron into Luis' diet.

[Cij]

 

James Milner: Gareth, ignore those love rats - you're a better man! Oh wait, I forgot about your injunction...

[Cij]

 

BREAKING NEWS: The FA hit Suarez with a further 10 game ban for mocking Joleon Lescott.

[Cij]

 

Brendan expresses his view on the FA's "independent" disciplinary process.

[Anubis]

 

"Tell him that next time a love bite should be on the neck."

[Trumo]

'These things even themselves out over the course of a season, #2342':

 

 

Booking Suarez once for absolutely nothing makes up for booking five ManU players for actual foul play.

 

 

 

Barclays' sacked their appointed trophy maker for spelling 'racist' wrong.

 

 

 

Milner saves Barry from doing anything actually noteworthy on the pitch.

[lifetime fan]

 

 

Suarez: Like this you said wasn't it Bellers?

[sir roger]

 

Better than Xabi, you're fucking joking.

[Stu Monty]

Players wear their hearts on their sleeves in the Manchester derby

RF: "...a Diabalo! You havin' a laugh? The Testarossa's got more style than..."

GB: "...AND, it's GPS fitted so I know where the wife and kids are at any time!"

RG: "Whoah there Rio! Gareth, tell me more about this GPS on the wife stuff"

 

 

 

 

 

Red disks installed on dummies to help Suarez perfect his next move: the charging headbutt to the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BR: "So, I was thinking of bringing in Ashley Williams this summer...what do you think...exciting, eh?"

SG: ".........."

JC: "....................."

BR: "...or not, you know, or someone else. Just thinking out loud".

[Stu Monty]

Media spotlight on Rodgers before Sothampton game

Mid-wipe, with a handful of snot, Brendan realised this could be a "Sneaking a look at someone's tits" moment.

[Stu Monty]

Just when you think you couldn't look any more ridiculous...

...you go and let Stewart Downing score a header against you.

 

Was that goal a header? Trying to remember. Did he head it or volley it off that cross?

[Stu Monty]

BR: "...so then Martinez tells me they showed him the accounts and that..."

AVB: "...They didn't show you them? I mean, when I saw them I thought, "oooh, tricky""

BR: "..Aw man, you saw them too? Motherfuckers!"

Edited April 29, 2013 by Stu Monty

[Stu Monty]

Rodgers willing to try anything to get an advantage

BR: "Your eyes are feeling heavy, you're very tired, you don't rate Jan Vertongen and want to sell him to me this summer"

[Trumo]

Ivanovic and Cech discussed exactly what might have caused Suarez try and bite the defender. Meanwhile, Luiz was tending to yet another facial injury caused by stepping on a rake.

 

 

PC: Mate, what did you do to set him off?

BI: He called me a dirty cunt, so I replied with "Bite me!". Next thing you know...

PC: Amazing scenes Bran. Amazing scenes.

[KevieG]

I don't care what you say Vidic. Lunch money.

[Pureblood]

 

RB: Those players in red look kind of familiar, no?

BR: There's one! I signed him! I got my chequebook right out and said "here you go, that's my offer", and they accepted!

[AJBlaikie]

 

Put your hand up if you have scored more league goals this season than Danny Welbeck has scored goals in all competitions this season.

[SCOUSE TAPAS]

 

BR: See him there that Serbian player of yours Rafa, well if the crowd don't stop chanting your name I will get Luis to eat him.

[Trumo]

John Terry's stadium tours now included discounts for OAPs.

 

 

 

 

OAP: I've left the wife at home on her own for this you know.

JT: Really?...erm, I mean, you wanna speak to Wazza mate.

[Lario]

 

Don't know what Warrior were thinking about with the grey neck, but these finger holders are boss!

[Hermes]

howard webb and lewandowski photo - http://dropinsavings.com/search/#  Yahoo! Search Results

 

"I hear you are hoping to play for Manchester United next season"

 

"Too right, I've already earned them so many points with my whistle. I could do so much more in one of their shirts"

[Hermes]

 

"I hear you are hoping to play for Manchester United next season"

 

"Too right, I've already earned them so many points with my whistle. I could do so much more in one of their shirts"