Frigid bitch

[Top of the Kop]

This was posted on another thread but I think you should heed Mr Ramsey's advise...

 

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[Mendoza]

Cant be bothered reading the thread but i hope this clip sums up the mood

 

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[Liverpool lad]

Jnp knows. Women are fucking hard work so you have to go through quite a lot of effort at times, especially if you are in a long term relationship.

 

Early doors in the relationship is the best part

[Paulie Dangerously]

Pin her down for a struggle-snuggle

[Uncle_Meat]

Pin her down for a struggle-snuggle

 

Then call her by her sisters name and see how long you can stay on.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Remind her on, she promised to "love, honour and OBEY" ???

 

Then do a Monkfish on her.

 

Failing that, balaclava, rope, cosh and blame the neighbour.

[md1892]

Then call her by her sisters name and see how long you can stay on.

 

Fuck-a-roo ?

[VladimirIlyich]

 

Er, because like a lot of women, they are up for a good bit of sex before marriage then go frigid almost immediately after the wedding!?

 

There's no fucking reason for it. We agreed (note I didnt say 'I') she didnt need to go out to work if she didnt want to anymore as we are now quite comfortably off.

 

She pay the fucking dog more attention.

 

It seems old Rover is sorting out her

needs.

A dog isnt always mans best friend!

[Guest davelfc]

 

Bollocks to that. Anyone wants to moan about things without trying out alternatives or treating your lady like a human being then I have no sympathy towards you.

 

.

 

There's your problem right there, you're anthropomorphising them. :whistle:

[Trumo]

She's a lesbian.

[moof]

She's a lesbian.

 

Deffo. It's the only explanation.

[Guest davelfc]

On the subject of foreplay, I see it's been mentioned so I shall point you towards an expert on the matter.

 

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[Rick Sanchez C-137]

You can't throw that into a thread without an explanation or at least a link to where it's been explained before?

 

 

Urgh!

 

Over-zealous anal.

 

Didn't think it required explanation.

[melons]

Over-zealous anal.

 

Didn't think it required explanation.

 

She followed through? Barf!

[Flying Pig]

Why can't everyone be happy with one person and forget about being unfaithful? This is not what God wanted.

[melons]

Why can't everyone be happy with one person and forget about being unfaithful? This is not what God wanted.

 

Mochyn have you had a sex change? Failing that, stop taking your missus' pill.

[Kevin D]

And thats sound and all, but it's maybe the difference between getting a good night as aposed to sat wanking over porn, over a situation that will never happen as you can't turn your own missuis on, a guilty conscience after you've blown your load into a cold tissue in an empty room.

 

Think about it.

 

And I never said I was at it for four hours straight, the fuck you think I am, Sting?.

 

Bollocks to that. Anyone wants to moan about things without trying out alternatives or treating your lady like a human being then I have no sympathy towards you.

 

Get balls deep.

 

It's worse than I thought, you've even began to identify with your tormentor.

[brucespanner]

I once had an Ex who would put me on 'Sex Bans' for the slightest indiscretion, this advice came from the best friends boyfriend, who was subsequently found to be smashing his workmates back doors in on a regular basis, oh the irony of the pious cunt!

 

Anyhow's my subtle fight back was to instigate foreplay, while she protested that it wasn't going to work, I'd go down on her until she was literally begging to be 'treated like a whore' then I'd roll over and say the moments passed and I don't feel like it anymore, she's then rubbing and caressing for all she's worth to be fucked, I'd fall asleep with her in a state of sexual frustration, it was beautiful!

[Ian Sea]

I once had an Ex who would put me on 'Sex Bans' for the slightest indiscretion, this advice came from the best friends boyfriend, who was subsequently found to be smashing his workmates back doors in on a regular basis, oh the irony of the pious cunt!

 

Anyhow's my subtle fight back was to instigate foreplay, while she protested that it wasn't going to work, I'd go down on her until she was literally begging to be 'treated like a whore' then I'd roll over and say the moments passed and I don't feel like it anymore, she's then rubbing and caressing for all she's worth to be fucked, I'd fall asleep with her in a state of sexual frustration, it was beautiful!

 

The phrase 'cutting your nose off to spite your face' springs to mind there mate!

[brucespanner]

The phrase 'cutting your nose off to spite your face' springs to mind there mate!

 

It was worth it for her to profusely apologies and say she'd do anything.

 

More often than not I'd let her stew for a half hour and then recommence proceedings on vastly different terms, she got to be treated like a whore, she loved it being the good middle-class Christian she was!

[Kevin D]

Wanted to jump the missus last night but she was making all these exaggerated yawns and things. Had a right stork on too. Not pleased.

 

So, at about 6 o clock this morning I had another stonker and tried my luck again. Tickled her clit and got fucking kicked. Deffo not fucking happy

 

I was going to take her out today but I fucked that straight off.

 

Is this grounds for starting a divorce? She's never truely been one for it although she does coo 'I love you being inside me' when she is.

 

Or should I just look for a hot bitch on the side and just use home for somewhere to eat me tea and crash at night!?

 

[/rant over]

 

Instead of moaning on an internet forum, like a hysterical girl, why don't you shut up and get behind her for a change?

[Pony Princess]

Over-zealous anal.

 

Didn't think it required explanation.

 

I was along the right lines then. I guessed you were kicking her brown back door in and as you exited, a little bit of shit squirted out.

 

Its not at all like in the porno's is it?

[VladimirIlyich]

I once had an Ex who would put me on 'Sex Bans' for the slightest indiscretion, this advice came from the best friends boyfriend, who was subsequently found to be smashing his workmates back doors in on a regular basis, oh the irony of the pious cunt!

 

Anyhow's my subtle fight back was to instigate foreplay, while she protested that it wasn't going to work, I'd go down on her until she was literally begging to be 'treated like a whore' then I'd roll over and say the moments passed and I don't feel like it anymore, she's then rubbing and caressing for all she's worth to be fucked, I'd fall asleep with her in a state of sexual frustration, it was beautiful!

 

How did you hold it in or did you have a sly ham shank?

 

Once my bullet's in the chamber the gun is always gonna be fired.

[brucespanner]

How did you hold it in or did you have a sly ham shank?

 

Once my bullet's in the chamber the gun is always gonna be fired.

 

See above.

 

The best piece of advice I've ever received, off a female friend, was 'Men and women are exactly the same, we both like getting drunk, fucked and having a good time. It's not rocket science, women love sex as well as men, it's society which tells us to act like chaste prudes'. That's how I've always approached women since.

 

And yes we did fuck after said exchange.

[Remmie]

Have you tried revenge negging her?