*Shakes head* Everton again.

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

4 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

I went to London and met up with some lad I used to work with had moved to Croydon. I said I'd meet him for a few pints in a pub by Victoria Station.

 

Normally this lad is sound but he's an Evertonian and doesn't like Liverpool.at all. We both had about 7 or 8 pints in this pub where all actors from nearby thatres go for a post show bevie. 

 

This lad starts going on about Heysel saying we ruined their chances of at least 3 European Cups. As I laughed it off it got more and more heated and he kept raising his voice and all the luvvies started looking round shaking their heads. I started having a go back and winding him up even more saying Howard Kendall inly went abroad because he was a pisshead and loved ale and Sangria.

 

That actress Tracy Ann Oberman who was in Eastenders and Afterlife marched over and shouted at us "will you two dickheads stop arguing about football, its a fucking game where men kick a ball around for an hour and a half. Fuck off"

 

Pub went completely quiet and my mate decided to storm off and get the last train back to Croydon. I stayed for a couple more thinking about trying to chat TAO up but decided that it wasn't a good idea as she'd probably punch me and I just staggered back to my hotel. 

 

My mate texted me the next day apologising. Told him never to talk to me about footy ever again. 

In his version he roundhoused kicked you and sent you on a bus going to Scarborough . The actors, of course, gave him a standing ovation.

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

I went to London and met up with some lad I used to work with had moved to Croydon. I said I'd meet him for a few pints in a pub by Victoria Station.

 

Normally this lad is sound but he's an Evertonian and doesn't like Liverpool.at all. We both had about 7 or 8 pints in this pub where all actors from nearby thatres go for a post show bevie. 

 

This lad starts going on about Heysel saying we ruined their chances of at least 3 European Cups. As I laughed it off it got more and more heated and he kept raising his voice and all the luvvies started looking round shaking their heads. I started having a go back and winding him up even more saying Howard Kendall inly went abroad because he was a pisshead and loved ale and Sangria.

 

That actress Tracy Ann Oberman who was in Eastenders and Afterlife marched over and shouted at us "will you two dickheads stop arguing about football, its a fucking game where men kick a ball around for an hour and a half. Fuck off"

 

Pub went completely quiet and my mate decided to storm off and get the last train back to Croydon. I stayed for a couple more thinking about trying to chat TAO up but decided that it wasn't a good idea as she'd probably punch me and I just staggered back to my hotel. 

 

My mate texted me the next day apologising. Told him never to talk to me about footy ever again. 

Shame you didn’t tell the horrible bitch to fuck off. 
 

EDIT: both of them 

[Barrington Womble]

13 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

 

 

That actress Tracy Ann Oberman who was in Eastenders and Afterlife marched over and shouted at us "will you two dickheads stop arguing about football, its a fucking game where men kick a ball around for an hour and a half. Fuck off"

 

 

Did you say fuck off you tory twat?

[Harry Squatter]

19 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Did you say fuck off you tory twat?

I didn't realise who she was until the next day when the Eastenders omnibus was on and I was sitting on the couch with a massive hangover. 

[Harry Squatter]

21 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Did you say fuck off you tory twat?

Unfortunately not. All she seems to go on about these days is Corbyn and the Holocaust. 

[aws]

44 minutes ago, Jimmy Hills Chin said:

In his version he roundhoused kicked you and sent you on a bus going to Scarborough . The actors, of course, gave him a standing ovation.

And then he fucked TAO in a taxi. 

[Section_31]

Worst thing you can do with a blue is back down or try and placate them for a quiet life, as it always seems to make them worse.

 

If you're unfortunate enough to be trapped in a footy chat it all starts off friendly, "oh no a kopite" and so forth. You'll trade banter about your respective seasons and favorite and not so favourite players. You'll scramble around for something good to say so you don't look petty, it might be say "Pickford isn't the worst English keeper I suppose'.

 

Then they get this glint in their eye, like a spaniel that's just smelled its own arse for the first time.

 

Then the talk escalates and moves on to made up financial amounts spent by Liverpool, and inhalers. The anger starts to build and the voice gets higher and faster.

 

Then they try and top and tail things with something semi reasonable to make it sound like it was all just banter, like "Beardsley was alright though." 

 

The best way to deal with blues is to stand up and shut it down from the start.

 

Simply point in their face and shout "you're fucking shit!", and they bottle it, and say something like 'hey no need for that it's only footy."

 

Blues can not be tolersted. They thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding.

[Stouffer]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Worst thing you can do with a blue is back down or try and placate them for a quiet life, as it always seems to make them worse.

 

If you're unfortunate enough to be trapped in a footy chat it all starts off friendly, "oh no a kopite" and so forth. You'll trade banter about your respective seasons and favorite and not so favourite players. You'll scramble around for something good to say so you don't look petty, it might be say "Pickford isn't the worst English keeper I suppose'.

 

Then they get this glint in their eye, like a spaniel that's just smelled its own arse for the first time.

 

Then the talk escalates and moves on to made up financial amounts spent by Liverpool, and inhalers. The anger starts to build and the voice gets higher and faster.

 

Then they try and top and tail things with something semi reasonable to make it sound like it was all just banter, like "Beardsley was alright though." 

 

The best way to deal with blues is to stand up and shut it down from the start.

 

Simply point in their face and shout "you're fucking shit!", and they bottle it, and say something like 'hey no need for that it's only footy."

 

Blues can not be tolersted. They thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding.

 

I read that like it was a narrative from a Public Information Film.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[Harry Squatter]

Bet that this will be entertaining. Majority of it will be about punching pensioners on crutches or burglars and about 15 per cent footy.

[manwiththestick]

3 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Bet that this will be entertaining. Majority of it will be about punching pensioners on crutches or burglars and about 15 per cent footy.

Haha, the 'artwork' at the bottom, all of his glorious highlights.

[gkmacca]

10 hours ago, joe_fishfish said:

Plenty of psychotics in our fanbase already, but yeah we don’t need any more.

 

 

 

You really don't need to remind me of that! They don't use green ink, but they show their colours in their own predictable way (and pay for the privilege, too!)...

[rubble-rouser]

4 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

I went to London and met up with some lad I used to work with had moved to Croydon. I said I'd meet him for a few pints in a pub by Victoria Station.

 

Normally this lad is sound but he's an Evertonian and doesn't like Liverpool.at all. We both had about 7 or 8 pints in this pub where all actors from nearby thatres go for a post show bevie. 

 

This lad starts going on about Heysel saying we ruined their chances of at least 3 European Cups. As I laughed it off it got more and more heated and he kept raising his voice and all the luvvies started looking round shaking their heads. I started having a go back and winding him up even more saying Howard Kendall inly went abroad because he was a pisshead and loved ale and Sangria.

 

That actress Tracy Ann Oberman who was in Eastenders and Afterlife marched over and shouted at us "will you two dickheads stop arguing about football, its a fucking game where men kick a ball around for an hour and a half. Fuck off"

 

Pub went completely quiet and my mate decided to storm off and get the last train back to Croydon. I stayed for a couple more thinking about trying to chat TAO up but decided that it wasn't a good idea as she'd probably punch me and I just staggered back to my hotel. 

 

My mate texted me the next day apologising. Told him never to talk to me about footy ever again. 

Mrs Ray Purchase to you

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Harry Squatter said:

Bet that this will be entertaining. Majority of it will be about punching pensioners on crutches or burglars and about 15 per cent footy.

 

Wonder if the code SINCE1995 works.

[Harry Squatter]

 

 

At least they had Spurs off for Richy Lar. 2 goals all season, both against Marseille in the group stage. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

2 hours ago, rubble-rouser said:

Mrs Ray Purchase to you

Aunt Val.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 hour ago, Harry Squatter said:

 

 

At least they had Spurs off for Richy Lar. 2 goals all season, both against Marseille in the group stage. 

I can't believe they got a price for Gordon, too.

[Fugitive]

14 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

 

I've said it before mate but those who use Heysel over and over, if you sat them down and asked them would they rather Heysel happened or didn't then loads of them would say they are glad it did because without it they have nothing to throw at us. 

 

They don't give a fuck that people died or how it actually happened all they care about is point scoring seeing as their own team can barely fucking do so. 

They would say fuck all and say they support Hillsborough. They do this all the time and say they are scousers but spew bile when we are not about. Absolute sit bags and horrible twats. I’m so glad I don’t have to live around the cunts anymore. 

[Reckoner]

3 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Haha, the 'artwork' at the bottom, all of his glorious highlights.

I saw the art work and thought ‘oh right,it’s a spoof, that makes sense’. But I don’t think it is? 

[TheBitch]

5 hours ago, Reckoner said:

I saw the art work and thought ‘oh right,it’s a spoof, that makes sense’. But I don’t think it is? 

I thought someone on here had knocked it up for a laugh. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

9 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Bet that this will be entertaining. Majority of it will be about punching pensioners on crutches or burglars and about 15 per cent footy.

 

Haha it's a real event!!

 

https://www.liverpoolphil.com/whats-on/comedy-spoken-word/duncan-ferguson-my-story/8591

 

Those drawings are real and you can even get a mug of them! Fucking hell. They are truly pathetic 

 

https://www.justdoodlin.co.uk/products/duncan-ferguson-versus-hyypia-mug?_pos=4&_sid=9fb65bec6&_ss=r

 

[VladimirIlyich]

29 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

 

Haha it's a real event!!

 

https://www.liverpoolphil.com/whats-on/comedy-spoken-word/duncan-ferguson-my-story/8591

 

Those drawings are real and you can even get a mug of them! Fucking hell. They are truly pathetic 

 

https://www.justdoodlin.co.uk/products/duncan-ferguson-versus-hyypia-mug?_pos=4&_sid=9fb65bec6&_ss=r

 

As if Ferguson ever intimidated Hyypia! I think that was a foul for us and Hyypia was barged over. Definitely not punched as it is supposed to look like.

Duncan Ferguson 1 trophy

Redshite 16,or more.

[Bjornebye]

57 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

 

Haha it's a real event!!

 

https://www.liverpoolphil.com/whats-on/comedy-spoken-word/duncan-ferguson-my-story/8591

 

Those drawings are real and you can even get a mug of them! Fucking hell. They are truly pathetic 

 

https://www.justdoodlin.co.uk/products/duncan-ferguson-versus-hyypia-mug?_pos=4&_sid=9fb65bec6&_ss=r

 

We win our 5th champions league in that kit. I hope shit loads of them buy it. Mugs 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

11 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Haha, the 'artwork' at the bottom, all of his glorious highlights.

That Justdoodlin is worth a look.

https://www.justdoodlin.co.uk/collections/sale 

[Carra_is_legend]

10 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

 

 

At least they had Spurs off for Richy Lar. 2 goals all season, both against Marseille in the group stage. 

 

Red settee!