Premier League Round Up (Nov 5-6 2016)

[tlw content]

Another good weekend for us, with most results going our way. We could have done with the Blueshite doing us a favour at Stamford Bridge but I don’t think anyone was surprised that they decided to just stick it up us and roll over for Chelsea instead.

 

As good as Chelsea were, Everton were a fucking disgrace and didn’t even manage a shot. Hazard was bang at it and Everton just never dealt with him at all. He scored the first and then made the second, scored by Marcos Alonso, but you have to wonder just what the hell the Everton keeper was doing on the second goal. People were buzzing off him after he saved two pens against City, but turns out he’s actually shite. There’s a reason he was playing for relegated Fulham last year. When the alternative is Joel Robles though… 

 

Had to laugh at how Alonso fucked up his celebration. He jumped up in the air but didn’t nail his landing and ended up on his arse instead. It looked like he might have been nudged in the back by Costa, who was lurking suspiciously behind him. He just can’t help himself can he? Shithousing is just a way of life for him. Sees a defender jumping and it’s just his natural instinct to give him a little nudge to knock him off balance, the fucking villain. 

 

After that it was just a case of how many Chelsea would score. It should have been more than five really as Everton’s goal led a charmed life at times. Chelsea’s front three just tore through them at will, and even Victor fucking Moses looked threatening. He’s doing well at wing back, but it just reminds of when Markovic had that brief spell when he looked great there too, until teams worked it out and he reverted back to being crap. I fully expect this to happen to Moses. 

 

The Blues were so fucking bad though, I can’t wait for us to play them in a few weeks as other than Lukaku (who Koeman says is too good for them) they just look terrible. Jagielka just looked old and fat in this game, Costa completely destroyed him. Koeman would be better off picking himself. He’s old and fat too, but at least he can pass a ball.
 
Right now the two best teams in the league are us and Chelsea, but Chelsea only got good when they changed to three at the back and that’s only a small sample size. Teams haven’t really had time to figure that out yet, so let’s see how they do when other managers have had a chance to ‘study the tape’. 

 

Watching this on MOTD though I had to rewind it back twice just to make sure I was hearing it right. “Costa is not the kind to lie down if he’s not really hurt” declared shithead Motson. Ok, enough is enough now BBC, put that fucking old goat out to pasture, as you’re making a mockery of the show by keeping him on there. If anyone else had said that I’d have assumed they were taking the piss, but this doddering old coot actually meant it. The irony is that it was a bad tackle and Costa was genuinely hurt this time, but if he wasn’t the type to feign injury, how come his team-mates didn’t put the ball out and were happily passing it around his prone body? 

 

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[eeyore]

What exactly is this lallana song you're on about, heard you say that before. Are you seriously implying singing a Kylie Minogue song?

[buster69]

Stekelenburg was terrible on the first Hazard goal too. I think they were sold a lemon alright.

 

Would love if Mourinho got sectioned. Would be like that episode  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXoqEOxC1y8&list=PL-Sr9yb7twDwsNOXx76UFCOwVK5bATgvXof Peep show with Super Hans "Did you try and get me sectioned"

 

Finally, Do you think Swansea would have been better off hiring Giggs instead of Bradley?....I'll go get my (full length Wenger) coat.

[Trumo]

What exactly is this lallana song you're on about, heard you say that before. Are you seriously implying singing a Kylie Minogue song?

 

Dave is the token fella at One Direction gigs.

[William_Ulsterman]

Loved the line about Brendy, made me laugh and think about the Anthill mob. Remember them?

[Nunavut Patrick]

any weekend round up that includes sleeping bag coats, egg and spoon races and a Bruce Forsthy reference is ace.

[m0e]

Brilliant!

[eric rotterdam]

you should write a book mate

[RobbieOR]

The Swansea unrest has come from Jenkins selling up to two Yanks. Under Jenkins they had a fan representative who would be consulted on all decisions. The new owners now ignored him. 

[index1000]

'With My Long body and Short legs this race is a cinch.' 

[dave u]

The Swansea unrest has come from Jenkins selling up to two Yanks. Under Jenkins they had a fan representative who would be consulted on all decisions. The new owners now ignored him. 

 

Jenkins is still the chairman isn't he? The Bradley appointment did have US owners written all over it though. Bruce Arena was probably their second choice.

 

What exactly is this lallana song you're on about, heard you say that before. Are you seriously implying singing a Kylie Minogue song?

 

Like you don't know.

 

Dave is the token fella at One Direction gigs.

 

My daughter went to see them about four years ago. I could have gone with her but let my wife go instead. Regretted it ever since. 

[RobbieOR]

Jenkins is still the chairman isn't he? The Bradley appointment did have US owners written all over it though. Bruce Arena was probably their second choice.

 

 

Like you don't know.

 

 

My daughter went to see them about four years ago. I could have gone with her but let my wife go instead. Regretted it ever since. 

 

Think he is but he has very little say. Like Moores when he sold up basically. 

[StevieMax]

Great round up, Dave - cheered me up on a grey afternoon. One thing you didn't mention was how all the Bournemouth defenders were getting bounced around by Big Vic all afternoon, but when there's a slight touch in the box Big Vic goes all Drogba and flops.

[dylstar]

Wenger was wearing one of those super long coats again, and I’m wondering now if Nike only make them for him. No-one else ever wears them.

 

I tell you who else wears them super long coats Dave.It's the rugby boys. Yes I know it's not Nike but their coats are down to their ankles just like Wengers and in the same colour.

 

Maybe Arsenal should of moved to Twickenham instead of the Emirates. Imagine them cunts raving on Arsenal TV if they would of gone there.

[dylstar]

Excellent report as per usual Dave.