little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Jairzinho]

People at work that say "what's it like out there?" when referring to the weather and you've just got back from lunch etc

 

Look out the window...its raining/windy/sunny/snowing/frosty/dark/light/sleating...

 

I think the correct response in this situation is to throw them out of the window.

[Teasmaid]

Being asked for 'feedback' every time I buy something. It's like having a really needy kid that needs constant reassurance. It used to be bad enough when it was just on eBay, then it extended to everywhere online. From there it's spread to proper stores, and even if I ring Sky I get texts within a second of putting the phone down, asking me to 'rate your experience'.

 

No, fuck off. It was a ballache enough having to ring in the first place, without having to grade the service I received like a fucking judge on Strictly. The same in shops. 'If you go to this website, and tell us about your 'experience' today, you could win £100!'. I'd rather not be arsed, if it's all the same to you. I picked up a coat, and took it to the till. The cashier scanned it and told me how much it cost, please. I put my card in the reader and the cashier did the usual theatrical 'pretend to look away when you enter your PIN', handed me my receipt, thanked me, and I thanked them in return before fucking off. It wasn't an 'experience'. I won't look back in years to come and remember it fondly. It was a simple transaction. I've got enough to do without writing you a book on how great you're doing so your senior management team can wank themselves off over positive comments and earn themselves a nice bonus. I bought your shit. You sold your shit. Everyone's a winner. Let's leave it there, eh?

[Guest Super Sub]

When you have fell asleep on the sofa with a cup of coffee and you wake up half in a half sleep / dream state and spill the contents of your cup all over you and the sofa.

[magicrat]

People just sneezing or coughing on trains, buses etc and making no attempt to avoid their germs flying off in all directions are equally irritating.  

Agreed. I hate cunts ( usually fat cunts) that eat burgers and chips on crowded trains., Piling onto crowded carriages and stinking them out with some revolting offering from Burger King and stuffing the greasy shite down their bloated necks in close proximity to other passengers then lobbing the remnants under the seat. Eat when you get home you inconsiderate fat scumbag fucks.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Part time term time twats in work. I can understand you wanting this time off when your kids are young and in school and are not able to take care of themselves.

 

What pisses me off is people, mainly women who keep to these hours when their kids are in their late teens or have actually left home to go to University. Would a 17 year old want their Mum lurking in the house all summer?.

 

Then it's up to the rest of us to fight it out for holidays during the summer because you are sitting at home for six weeks doing fuck all.

 

A Civil Servant for sure ?

 

Doctor, I feel your pain.

[Curly]

Agreed. I hate cunts ( usually fat cunts) that eat burgers and chips on crowded trains., Piling onto crowded carriages and stinking them out with some revolting offering from Burger King and stuffing the greasy shite down their bloated necks in close proximity to other passengers then lobbing the remnants under the seat. Eat when you get home you inconsiderate fat scumbag fucks.

 

I love smashing a bit of scran in on the train if it's a long journey. One of life's small pleasures eating some fast food and reading the papaer on an otherwise boring journey. I dispose of the remnants in the correct manner and my BMI is around 23 though.

[Harry Squatter]

A Civil Servant for sure ?

 

Doctor, I feel your pain.

Correct, no other industry would entertain such behaviour!

[magicrat]

I love smashing a bit of scran in on the train if it's a long journey. One of life's small pleasures eating some fast food and reading the papaer on an otherwise boring journey. I dispose of the remnants in the correct manner and my BMI is around 23 though.

Long journeys are one thing but on crowded commuter trains its bang out of order  

[General Dryness]

Being asked for 'feedback' every time I buy something. It's like having a really needy kid that needs constant reassurance. It used to be bad enough when it was just on eBay, then it extended to everywhere online. From there it's spread to proper stores, and even if I ring Sky I get texts within a second of putting the phone down, asking me to 'rate your experience'.

 

No, fuck off. It was a ballache enough having to ring in the first place, without having to grade the service I received like a fucking judge on Strictly. The same in shops. 'If you go to this website, and tell us about your 'experience' today, you could win £100!'. I'd rather not be arsed, if it's all the same to you. I picked up a coat, and took it to the till. The cashier scanned it and told me how much it cost, please. I put my card in the reader and the cashier did the usual theatrical 'pretend to look away when you enter your PIN', handed me my receipt, thanked me, and I thanked them in return before fucking off. It wasn't an 'experience'. I won't look back in years to come and remember it fondly. It was a simple transaction. I've got enough to do without writing you a book on how great you're doing so your senior management team can wank themselves off over positive comments and earn themselves a nice bonus. I bought your shit. You sold your shit. Everyone's a winner. Let's leave it there, eh?

Honestly SKI, if you don't give them feedback, how are they supposed to refine your "shopping experience".

 

Fucking cunts. You sell, I buy. I don't want it to be an "experience". And if you want to call it an experience, put your fucking back into it. I want jugglers and men on unicycles eating fire when I turn up at the checkout with my weedkiller.

[A Red]

Being asked for 'feedback' every time I buy something. It's like having a really needy kid that needs constant reassurance. It used to be bad enough when it was just on eBay, then it extended to everywhere online. From there it's spread to proper stores, and even if I ring Sky I get texts within a second of putting the phone down, asking me to 'rate your experience'.

 

No, fuck off. It was a ballache enough having to ring in the first place, without having to grade the service I received like a fucking judge on Strictly. The same in shops. 'If you go to this website, and tell us about your 'experience' today, you could win £100!'. I'd rather not be arsed, if it's all the same to you. I picked up a coat, and took it to the till. The cashier scanned it and told me how much it cost, please. I put my card in the reader and the cashier did the usual theatrical 'pretend to look away when you enter your PIN', handed me my receipt, thanked me, and I thanked them in return before fucking off. It wasn't an 'experience'. I won't look back in years to come and remember it fondly. It was a simple transaction. I've got enough to do without writing you a book on how great you're doing so your senior management team can wank themselves off over positive comments and earn themselves a nice bonus. I bought your shit. You sold your shit. Everyone's a winner. Let's leave it there, eh?

This top stuff. 

 

The other side of it are the people that want to review everything they buy or where they stay. The "where they stay" being the bit I'm going to concentrate on here.

 

I was talking to a twat in a hotel lift in Benidorm in June. Basically he said "this is the worse hotel ive stayed in, its fuckin shite and i shall be on fuckin tripadvisor when i get home."

 

It was a basic hotel, clean, little bar and an ok small pool about 1/2 a mile from the beach that he will have paid £250 a week for. What the fuck did he expect for £250? The twat will now try to ruin the hotels reputation. What he was actually saying was, "im too fucking good for here, you might not be but i am, people need to know how good i am"

 

Small time little twat

 

(this has nothing to do with me getting a shite tripadvisor review)

[RJ Fan club]

Being asked for 'feedback' every time I buy something. It's like having a really needy kid that needs constant reassurance. It used to be bad enough when it was just on eBay, then it extended to everywhere online. From there it's spread to proper stores, and even if I ring Sky I get texts within a second of putting the phone down, asking me to 'rate your experience'.

 

No, fuck off. It was a ballache enough having to ring in the first place, without having to grade the service I received like a fucking judge on Strictly. The same in shops. 'If you go to this website, and tell us about your 'experience' today, you could win £100!'. I'd rather not be arsed, if it's all the same to you. I picked up a coat, and took it to the till. The cashier scanned it and told me how much it cost, please. I put my card in the reader and the cashier did the usual theatrical 'pretend to look away when you enter your PIN', handed me my receipt, thanked me, and I thanked them in return before fucking off. It wasn't an 'experience'. I won't look back in years to come and remember it fondly. It was a simple transaction. I've got enough to do without writing you a book on how great you're doing so your senior management team can wank themselves off over positive comments and earn themselves a nice bonus. I bought your shit. You sold your shit. Everyone's a winner. Let's leave it there, eh?

Add to this, asking for your postcode or can we email your receipt to you please?

 

Just another fucking ploy to get more of your data.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Adblock Plus is your friend there.

Do go on. Where, how and how easy is it ? 

[VladimirIlyich]

Do go on. Where, how and how easy is it ?

Just google it mate,seriously. Its the dogs and on everything i use. The element hider is built in and priceless.

All for free.

[Harry Squatter]

Last year I got sky as it was a good deal. Some fella came out and fitted the box and dos the wiring, he then said "my boss will be along later to ask you how I did, he's a bit of a jobsworth between me and you but can you just tell him everything was fine so he doesn't give me any grief?". I just said yeah.

 

Anyway I was sitting off going through all the channels when I saw some fella outside the house taking photos of my gaff with an I-pad. I walk out and ask why he was taking photos of my house. He said he was the chief engineer at sky and that one I his lad had just fitted a sky box. He then goes straight into a long winded questionnaire without asking me if I was ok to do it. I asked why he needed photos of my house and he just said "oh just for our records". I told him that he had no right photographing my house and made him delete the photos. I also asked what relevance the outside of my house had to the efficiency of a sky engineer sorting my telly out which he didn't even answer.

 

I then got a series of stupid questions, all of which were slightly worded to make out the sky engineer didn't do the best job ever. I said it wasn't really relevant how friendly he was etc as long as he got the sky to work. I said that they could always send two birds round in bikinis covered in baby oil and maybe I'd say sky's service was outstanding, as long as there were no problems with the broadband and programmes. He just looked at me and fucked off.

[Mook]

My boss having to comment on it everytime my belly rumbles.

 

Actually she has to comment on fucking everything, last week I came in with a bacon roll, "Ooh, a bacon roll?", "You had a sausage roll yesterday.".

 

What are you, my fucking dietician?

[Captain Turdseye]

My boss having to comment on it everytime my belly rumbles.

My bird does this, it is annoying. To be fair though, sometimes she follows it up by getting off her arse and making me a scran. Those are the days when I think she's alright.

[dickie mint]

My boss having to comment on it everytime my belly rumbles.

 

Actually she has to comment on fucking everything, last week I came in with a bacon roll, "Ooh, a bacon roll?", "You had a sausage roll yesterday.".

 

What are you, my fucking dietician?

She might want a tit roll.

[Mook]

She might want a tit roll.

 

She can want then, she looks like Junior Gorg off Fraggle Rock...

 

[General Dryness]

Would.

 

Have, probably.

[Rico1304]

The school near us sent home 100 kids on Thursday as they didn't have the correct uniform. The uniform hasn't chnaged, the kids were,warned if it was wrong they'd be sent home. Tough shit, get the right clothes, were,them, follow the rules and you won't have to go home.

[stringvest]

The school near us sent home 100 kids on Thursday as they didn't have the correct uniform. The uniform hasn't chnaged, the kids were,warned if it was wrong they'd be sent home. Tough shit, get the right clothes, were,them, follow the rules and you won't have to go home.

 

3/10.  Grammar, spelling and punctuation way short of the expected standard.

[RJ Fan club]

3/10. Grammar, spelling and punctuation way short of the expected standard.

I reckon Rico had non regulation Farahs on when he wrote that.

[Stouffer]

My boss having to comment on it everytime my belly rumbles.

 

Actually she has to comment on fucking everything, last week I came in with a bacon roll, "Ooh, a bacon roll?", "You had a sausage roll yesterday.".

 

What are you, my fucking dietician?

Fucking food inspecting bastards.

[Rico1304]

I reckon Rico had non regulation Farahs on when he wrote that.

And I had my tie the wrong way round so it was thin.

[RJ Fan club]

And I had my tie the wrong way round so it was thin.

Hope it was a Ben Sherman shirt, a pair of all black reebok hexalite and a Fred Perry jumper to finish the ensemble