little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Carvalho Diablo]

Blown out by a fucking lesbian.

 

A fucking lesbo !!

 

[Jim MM]

Cunts, who don't keep to the left hand side when using stairs.

That reminds me, I need to publish my Theory of Pedestrianism : When two or more people are walking abreast in front of you then their velocity is inversely proportional to their sum.

[Liverpool lad]

People who claim to have been a ghetto tearaway when they were a kid knowing full well no-one can prove they weren't, when you know in reality they probably never even had as much as a single detention their whole school life.

 

I used to be a little terror causing trouble me, before I grew out of it".

Fuck off, you brought your own atlas to Geography lessons you snitch.

 

Or the type who was fucking wild and always in all types of bother before he got himself a job.  Had the choice of going down the route with his friends but chose office life, I didn't choose office life, office live chose me. The fucking mugs

 

They normally make out that it was like one day a criminal fraternity offered them a role in their enterprise but they decided to just do some admin.

 

People dont just do it about their childhoods.

 

"Well i was well wankered, i must had 15 pints and 3 fights"

 

"I remember drinking a full bottle of whisky and going up Ben Nevis and drinking another"

 

etc etc

 

Then you go on the piss with them at 7.30 and they're home by 10.30

 

Nothing worse than people who lie about what they can drink, they are on par with sex liars.

 

'Out last night, 10 pints'

 

Normally after that many I lose track,and if somebody was to ask me about my drinking on Monday night in London, I would have said a few before the match and a few afterwards, to state the exact number just sounds like bullshit unless you are Rain Man.

 

I used to work with a fella who was full of it and everyone used to go along with it as though they believed it.  Turns out loads didn't but we didn't have the heart to shut him down.  Sad really as the reality is that you would have looked a cunt for exposing him so it became a vicious circle where we left him.

[Furmedge]

The bulbs in fitting rooms. Brighter and hotter than the sun.

 

[Champ]

The bulbs in fitting rooms. Brighter and hotter than the sun.

How tall are you?

[Furmedge]

How tall are you?

5'9" but I reckon with a bit of water and a couple of weeks under those bulbs I could be 6 foot.

[Bjornebye]

Why would anyone have a glass chopping board? 

[FanchesterCity]

That special form of plastic on some blister packs that appears to be military grade, and could slice your thumb clean off if not approached with extreme caution.

 

I have also noticed that its military grade seems to be directly related to the need to get to its contents.

[Trumo]

That special form of plastic on some blister packs that appears to be military grade, and could slice your thumb clean off if not approached with extreme caution.

 

I have also noticed that its military grade seems to be directly related to the need to get to its contents.

.

 

Fortunately, there's a tool available for just such a job.

 

[alles ist gut]

Why would anyone have a glass chopping board?

 

Blood seeps into the wooden ones, over time.

[Mook]

My fucking boss again, sits on an extremely urgent e-mail which came across first thing this morning, asking people to check a document & come back ASAP with any comments. The boy has just phoned her to ask if she's looked at it (everybody else responded within an hour), she says 'no', opens it up & starts going 'where did that figure come from?', 'Who has double checked this bit?'. Gets off the phone & starts giving me a load of grief about where I got my figures from (two weeks ago I might add).

 

Just fuck off & kill yourself with a barbed wire dildo you horrible twat.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Mates that can turn into wankers...

 

Going on holiday on 19th Sept (Malta) i go a lot and have a nice bird out there.....have the craiq excellent. She's having some shit at mo so i changed my flight to an earlier one so i can get out there slightly earlier do a bit to help etc.....my flight is now 18th (Fri)....i have one really sound pal Steve (from Liverpool in fact) real gent he goes on Sunday (20th).....so the plan was we were both going on 19th....Steve on 20th meet there. So now i've changed mine...

 

The mate i was meant to be going with got it into his head that we were going to get on the lash all day, then head to airport etc etc getting a 7.35pm flight...despite my reservations (i'm 42 FFS them days are gone!!)...i told him my flight change and i'm now all the shit bags under the sun and he's vowed never to speak to me again!!

 

Worra cock!!

[Rico1304]

Your use of brackets (even in your forum handle) is impressive.

[Bobby Hundreds]

"Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on" 

 

WHAT!

[Champ]

Getting stuck in a queue beside someone who reeks of stale smoke.stomach turning

[Trumo]

The flimsy as fuck wiring on Samsung phone chargers.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Audio, video adds. Especially the ones that start when you inadvertently drag the curser over them. Annoying as fuck.

[Harry Squatter]

People who sit in reserved train seats then act all soft when you tell them it's booked for you. The fact that there is a ticket on the back of the seat is normally a big giveaway.

[Bjornebye]

People who sit in reserved train seats then act all soft when you tell them it's booked for you. The fact that there is a ticket on the back of the seat is normally a big giveaway.

People who reserve train seats.....

[Mook]

People.

[General Dryness]

Mates that can turn into wankers...

 

Going on holiday on 19th Sept (Malta) i go a lot and have a nice bird out there.....have the craiq excellent. She's having some shit at mo so i changed my flight to an earlier one so i can get out there slightly earlier do a bit to help etc.....my flight is now 18th (Fri)....i have one really sound pal Steve (from Liverpool in fact) real gent he goes on Sunday (20th).....so the plan was we were both going on 19th....Steve on 20th meet there. So now i've changed mine...

 

The mate i was meant to be going with got it into his head that we were going to get on the lash all day, then head to airport etc etc getting a 7.35pm flight...despite my reservations (i'm 42 FFS them days are gone!!)...i told him my flight change and i'm now all the shit bags under the sun and he's vowed never to speak to me again!!

 

Worra cock!!

Negged for repeated and unnecessary use of ellipsis. Cool story though bro.

[General Dryness]

People.

Yeah this. Everyone in the whole fucking world. Feeling that mate.

 

I wouldn't have negged that previous fella, but reasons and people and stuff.

[Stouffer]

The flimsy as fuck wiring on Samsung phone chargers.

Aye; absolute joke of a design.

[Stouffer]

Negged for repeated and unnecessary use of ellipsis. Cool story though bro.

I do that (all the time); I can't help it.

 

Sorry.

[General Dryness]

I do that (all the time); I can't help it.

 

Sorry.

Theres no need...to be sorry...just don't do it.

 

Like I said, I wouldn't normally neg for that, but I'm in a shit mood. He'll get a rep somewhere to make up for it.