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Ronaldo was left on the bench as United took on Everton at Old Trafford. Hilarious how some people tried to make out that was some kind of controversial thing that Ronaldo wasn't on board with and that it was solely Solskjaer’s decision to leave him out. As. If. The only way he’s left Ronaldo out is with Ronaldo’s consent. Yes, I did just use the words Ronaldo and consent in the same sentence even though those those words are usually only uttered together in police interview rooms or in witness statements. Ronaldo can’t play every minute of every game (no-one really does any more, do they?) but anyone thinking Solskjaer is the one who decides which ones he sits out must be living in dreamland. Besides, Ronaldo can do a better job managing the team when he’s sat on the bench so it makes sense. Why is he wearing a big fuck off ear-ring while he’s on the bench though? He knows he’d need to take that out before he went on the pitch, so why not leave it in the fucking dressing room? What a preening twat. Just the worst isn’t he? If I looked like him I wouldn’t give a fuck about wearing jewellery because what’s the point? You know you look great anyway, it’s not needed. Admittedly I’d be shirtless all the time, showing off the abs, but I wouldn’t be wearing no stupid ear-ring. He had a face like a smacked arse all day but it won’t have been because he was left out. It was probably the realisation of just how fucking average his new team is and that they were being outplayed by Everton. Martial had already missed a sitter before he eventually gave United the lead. It was totally against the run of play though as Everton had been comfortably the better side in the first half. They were in the second too for that matter and should have won the game. Andros Townsend equalised and did the Ronaldo celebration in front of the away end. As far as alpha moves go, it’s up there. He’s marked his territory there. Not quite as dominant a move as pissing on Ronaldo’s boots but its definitely a statement and I respect it. He gave it some bullshit afterwards about how it was a tribute to his hero rather than any show of disrespect, but nah, we know what it was and that’s fine, no need to moonwalk away from it Andros. Ronaldo wasn’t amused and wouldn’t shake Townsend’s hand afterwards. It’s easy to rip him for that and call him a spoilt brat but I get it. If I’m Ronaldo I’m thinking “who the fuck is this cunt?”. He could have celebrated that goal in any number of ways but he chose to taunt United and Ronaldo and no amount of "it was meant as a tribute to him" will wash. Personally I love it, I’m just saying that I get why Ronaldo didn’t want to shake his hand afterwards as I wouldn’t have either. United were shit and Everton should have won it late when Davies went though but he decided to square it to an offside Mina instead of burying it himself. He’s a prick that Mina, I can’t stand him. Dancing like a fucking clown when he was offside. Tit. I think I have to reassess my Demarai Gray takes though. He’s good. I need to give him due credit as he’s playing well week in week out now and looks a player. United under Solskjaer is one weird fucking situation isn't it? They're always just one bad result away from meltdown. They’ll win six games on the bounce, score loads of goals, and then all it takes is one bad result for #oleout to be trending on Twitter and all the debate about whether he’s up to the job or not starts up again. In fact, sometimes it doesn’t even take a bad result, just a bad half. They’ve been unbeaten away in the league for fuck knows how long, but a home loss to Villa was all it took for all hell to break loose. Then this weekend they drew with Everton and the pressure is right back on him again. They’ll have a thumping win soon and everyone will be back on board watching "Ole at the wheel, doing his thing". I hope it stays like this forever. Elsewhere on Saturday, Chelsea had lost to City and Juve but you’d think a home game with Southampton would be just the tonic for that. It was in the end, but for a long time this wasn’t looking good for Tuchel’s side. It needed a late sending off for Ward-Prowse before Chelsea were finally able to end Southampton’s dogged resistance. The Saints had drawn at City two weeks ago so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that they made it so difficult for Chelsea. Yet it was. I thought this would be an easy win for Chelsea and in the end it turned out to be, but if Ward-Prowse hadn’t lost his fucking mind then who knows? Chalobah gave Chelsea an early lead with a back post diving header. He looks good him, although dribbling past three players on the edge of his own box isn’t something I’d be wanting to see him do again. Not even Big Joel would attempt that. I mean it worked and it looked great, but it’s not a high percentage play is it? He does look decent though. It was all Chelsea in the first half as Lukaku had one ruled out for offside and Hudson-Odoi was denied a solo goal by a fantastic challenge by Tino Livramento. Early days but he looks fucking boss him. For some reason I thought he was Argentinian but I just googled him and he’s an 18 year old English kid that Southampton picked up from Chelsea. Basically like Brighton did with my boy Lamptey (where the fuck is he these days by the way? Haven’t seen him for what seems like years). There are so many really good English right backs around at the moment though and Chelsea seem to have produced around half of them. Werner then had a goal disallowed due to a foul by Azpilacueta in the build up. Correct decision. Livramento then won a penalty when he skinned Chilwell and was brought down. Ward-Prowse buried the pen by sending the keeper the wrong way but then blotted his copybook with a reckless lunge on Jorginho. Initially Atkinson gave a yellow but after being advised to take another look he switched to a red. Right so. Ward-Prowse’s studs went right into the achilles of Jorginho. The thing that I find funny about incidents like this is when the ref has gone to the screen and had a proper look, and then he comes back onto the field and he’s got players who were 40 yards away from the incident and haven’t seen the replays kicking off and telling him he’s got it wrong. After that Southampton folded like a cheap suit. Even Timo Walcott scored against them. Chilwell eventually scored after Lukaku and Azpilacueta had both hit the post with a second of eachother. I’d never heard him speak before but Timo Werner’s voice does not match his face. It’s a bit like how I felt the first time I heard Daniel Farke talk. Very disconcerting. Ross Barkley is still at Chelsea, which took me by surprise as I thought he’d joined Villa permanently. What a fucking waster he is. He should have been one of the best players in the country but he’s no better now than when he was 21. Usually this only happens when players join Arsenal. Moving on and Wolves went in front at home to Newcastle when Jiminez released Hwang and he finished well. What’s with the really shit music they play after goals there? I hadn’t noticed before, but then they hadn’t scored at home before so that will be why. Newcastle equalised through Hendrick, but my first thought was just what the fuck was the keeper doing? The ball goes in and he’s not even in his goal. They showed the replay and he’d come out to dive at the feet of Joelin Ton and apparently hurt his shoulder. He was lying on the ground wanting the game stopped but play rightly went on. When he realised he got back to his feet, saw the shot coming and ran back to try and save it. But the ball went in so he went back down again making out he was injured. Wolves wanted a free-kick but there was fuck all wrong with that and it was embarrassing how the keeper was carrying on. Saint-Maximin should have given the Geordies the lead but Sa reacted well and made the save. Not bad for a lad who was half dead not long before. Hwang won it for Wolves after another pass by Jiminez. Looks a promising partnership that. You know what they need? They need a Minamino to complete the trio. Remember how boss that Salzburg front three was with Taki, Hwang and Haaland? If Wolves want to talk swap deal with Traore (or Neto), I’m all ears. As for Newcastle, they seem to be edging closer to that Saudi takeover. There’s an awful lot I have to say about that but this isn’t the time. The one thing I would say is why the fuck would the other clubs agree to allow owners with TEN TIMES MORE WEALTH THAN MAN CITY come into our game? That’s a fox you don’t want to let in the henhouse and if this happens it might be the final nail in the football coffin. I hope they get relegated but if this goes through it won’t matter anyway as they’ll spend so much money they could attract Messi and Ronaldo to play in the Championship if they wanted. Watford lost at Leeds and sacked their manager. It’s hard keeping of track of their managers isn't it? As soon as I finally learn the name, they’re gone. I still don’t know this fella’s full name. I know it was Xisco something. Doesn’t matter now. They’re appointing Ranieri to replace him. Why? Just what’s the point of that? No wonder they’re a fucking yo-yo club. Llorente put Leeds ahead from a corner but Watford thought they’d equalised when Meslier dropped the ball into his own net from a corner. It was disallowed by VAR for an alleged foul by Kabasele, but frankly that’s a fucking scandalous decision. It’s as much a foul by the Leeds defender if anything. The two of them are wrestling, but they aren’t even a factor in the play as neither of them are getting the ball and it had nothing to do with the keeper dropping it. Leeds deserved to win but that decision robbed Watford of a point and probably cost the manager his job. Although clearly he was only ever going to be one game from getting the boot anyway, as Watford’s owners are fucking loons. Brighton played some lovely stuff against Arsenal but it ended goalless in the "Ben White Derby". Both teams had chances but Brighton were the better side. Typical Arsenal. Smelling themselves after beating Spurs last week, but never forget who you really are, Arsenal. Fucking bums. The new Brighton left back is boss. Really elegant little footballer him. Cucurella he’s called, and if the Brighton fans don’t have a song for him to the tune of La Cucaracha then what are we even doing here? Norwich finally picked up a point with a goalless draw at Burnley. Predictably dire stuff and a point isn't really any good to either side. Ozan Kabak was on the receiving end of a really heavy challenge by Wood that saw the frontman yellow carded. His studs went into Kabak’s shin, so not sure why that’s not a red as it seems to be a standard sending off these days. Thankfully Kabak was ok and he almost got revenge in the most spectacular fashion when he set off on a Maradona style dribble up the field that took him past sixteen players and would have ended in the greatest goal in the history of the world if he hadn’t been cynically hacked down on the edge of the box. I may be over-egging that, but only by a smidge as it was genuinely fucking boss. I like that lad, I wish he was at a better team than Norwich as I want him to do well. There’s not really anything else to say about the game. It was fucking terrible. Norwich stink and Burnley aren’t much better. Dyche described it as a ‘strong performance’ and remarked ‘sometimes you need a refereeing decision at some point’. Well he got one when his centre forward wasn’t sent off. His grievance was that Krul came out and punched Vydra in the head with two fists when they challenged for a high ball. He’s right. That was a foul. Vydra got the ball first, Krul then punched the ball a split second after it came off the striker’s head and he then connected with both fists and knocked him down. Should have been a pen but more often than not you don’t get them. He’s clutching at straws using that as an excuse and it’s not a ‘strong performance’ when you barely create a chance against the worst team in the league (and potentially one of the worst teams in the history of the league). I think this is the year Burnley don’t put together a run to get themselves out of the shit. They’re going down with Norwich. And hopefully Newcastle. Onto Sunday now. Leicester have been in ropey form of late and they lost in Europe in midweek before heading to Selhurst to face Palace. It started well and ended terribly. That cunt Iheanacho put them ahead when he robbed Anderson and rolled the ball in. Vieira signed two ball playing centre backs so he had transform how they play, so this is an occupational hazard that he’ll probably be philosophical about. I don’t know if he is because if he was asked about it afterwards I couldn't tell you. He started talking and got as far as "It was a little disappointing not to win because...." zzzzzzzz I nodded off. Vardy made it 2-0 but didn’t do the eagle celebration, which was extremely disappointing but given what happened afterwards was probably the smart thing to do. He's learned his lesson from last week clearly. Palace were getting spanked and it seemed like it was just a case of how many Leicester would score. Then Eduoard hit the bar and it woke Palace up. Substitute Olise volleyed in to get them back in it and another sub, Schlupp, headed in the equaliser. Palace went close to winning it a couple of times as Brendan’s boys wobbled all over the fucking place. Leicester are missing Fofana and Evans and it’s really showing. Takes a really good team to be able to lose their centre backs and still perform at a top four level. How about Brentford eh? Winning at West Ham isn't easy these days but the Bees are flying (see what I did there?). Mbuemo broke the deadlock with a rebound after a Sergi Canos shot was saved by Fabianski. My boy Ivan Toney (I made it official this week) created that with a lovely through ball. West Ham responded well to going behind and had a really good spell. Bowen should have scored but headed wide. Feels like every time I watch West Ham he looks really lively but is always missing chances. Like Timo Werner, only much cheaper. The sun even shines on a dog’s arse somedays though and he did bag one in the second half to level the scores. His first goal in 17 games. Not good that though, is it? Brentford won it with the last kick of the game when Wissa (who scored against us and did that yoga celebration) rifled in after Fabianski had made a save. A real sting in the tail from the Bees. Yeah ok, that's shite. I haven't got my A-game today but I can't be Mo Salah all the time. Sometimes you'll need to settle for me being Sadio - a bit hit and miss. Finally, Spurs. They won their first three and Nuno was being hailed. They lost their next three and he was being slammed. Now they’ve beaten Villa and they’ve got 12 points, they’re in 8th spot and just two points off the top four. That’s basically where I’d expect them to be. Somewhere between 6th and 8th and a million miles off the level of the top clubs. This was a pretty good win for them as Villa are in fine form. Hoijberg stroked one in from 18 yards midway through the first half after a one two with Son. Watkins levelled when he finished off a lovely move. No more than Villa deserved at that point as they’d made most of the running and Spurs were just playing on the break with Son’s pace. And that’s how they won it. Son broke clear down the left, skinned Konsa (for the umpteenth time) and crossed for Moura. It looked like he got the final touch but it’s gone down as a Target own goal. All Spurs have got are counter attacks but they are fucking good at them when Son's in the mood. Lo Celso should have made it 3-1 after a brilliant break by Son and a sensational back heel by Kane. Some goal that would have been. Kane went clean through late on but couldn’t finish and still hasn’t scored in the league. Fortunately for him he’s still on course for a 50 goal season as long as Spurs stay in that fucking UEFA Farmers League thing. That's the worst idea since Everton sent Gylffi to visit the local schools.