Anyone else hate Weddings?

[Tj hooker]

Marie as in Donny and Marie? Or Mary as in Peter, Paul and Mary?

 

I don't want you to go to all that expense only for a spelling error to trip you up.

Never seen Goodfellas then Tom.

[Flying Pig]

I was very happy to have been asked to be my mates best man, including the speech etc. Everything going to plan until the two before me (from brides side) came up with hilarious stuff. On walks myself, still confident of my own ability, and starts my speech. I'd like you to imagine Gervais's first meeting the 'swindon lot' and talking about the wanking claw. After an incredibly indepth fictional 8 minute chat I'd 'hilariously' made up about my mate I walked across the hardwood flooring hearing my own steps as my friends family occasionally clapped once or twice out of respect. Funny thing is that I like the notoriety I brought on myself and the looks I got from strangers at the party. Overall it was a great night. It's never been mentioned again by my mates.

[Rico1304]

We went to a wedding yesterday and the speeches were awful. The brides dad was nervous and didn't like all eyes being on him, which is fair enough but the 2 groomsmen were just nasty about the groom. Unnecessary piss taking, dragging up old stories about other birds and generally being twats. One of them was his fucking brother too. They didn't get many laughs and it was very uncomfortable listening. I really felt for the groom, if it was my wedding I'd have stopped them.

 

It's going to back fire on them though, he knows plenty of life changing secrets about them both and currently making them sweat that he's going to spill the beans. He won't, but they can't be sure of that.

[Dr Nowt]

We went to a wedding yesterday and the speeches were awful. The brides dad was nervous and didn't like all eyes being on him, which is fair enough but the 2 groomsmen were just nasty about the groom. Unnecessary piss taking, dragging up old stories about other birds and generally being twats. One of them was his fucking brother too. They didn't get many laughs and it was very uncomfortable listening. I really felt for the groom, if it was my wedding I'd have stopped them.

 

It's going to back fire on them though, he knows plenty of life changing secrets about them both and currently making them sweat that he's going to spill the beans. He won't, but they can't be sure of that.

 

Nothing worse than that sort of speech and how it makes everyone else in the room shrink in their seats.

[Champ]

'Groomsmen'? Do groomsmen not work in stables?

[Mendoza]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-32267990

[Rico1304]

Nothing worse than that sort of speech and how it makes everyone else in the room shrink in their seats.

It was exactly like that, the thing is if they had half a brain between them they could have made subtle references to the stories that the lads in the know would have got, without telling his gran about the time he got caught wanking.

[littletedwest]

On stag do's I've been to five. Two abroad three over here the ones over here were average.The abroad ones are top five nights I've ever had.

cost a bomb. But being fucked at 3pm in krakow drinking tabasco shots and somehow still going at 3am was an ordeal I was still ill a week later.

[Champ]

It was exactly like that, the thing is if they had half a brain between them they could have made subtle references to the stories that the lads in the know would have got, without telling his gran about the time he got caught wanking.

Classy. Old fart, maybe, but that making me angry just thinking about it and I dont know any of the people involved

[Liverpool lad]

Got four this year to deal with. What might be your special day means a lot less to me.

[Guest Super Sub]

Usher is wearing a wig and he is in fact bald.

[Harry Squatter]

Cousin is getting married this year in the usual place. Some stately home in the middle of fucking nowhere where one local taxi firm charges a shitload. The place itself will probably cost a shitload to stay in and any hotels within a ten mile radius will be impractical.

 

He's only invited "immediate" family so expects the rest of us to turn up there for a couple of hours at the evening reception. Already said no as have most of my family. He'll probably have a face on when none of us turn up.

[lifetime fan]

We've done a guest list already, lowest we could get it down to was 75.

 

Immediate family (but no step brother or sisters to the day) and closest friends only.

 

I just glared at me mam when we told her about the step siblings, she never said a word.

 

At the end of the day as long as we both enjoy the day I couldn't really give a fuck about everyone else.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Usher is wearing a wig and he is in fact bald.

Get this in the Conspiracy Theories thread, quick.

 

Weddings... I had my first threesome as a niave 19 year old at/after a wedding. It was at a hotel, so going upstairs and fucking seemed the done thing.

 

Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly as nice as I thought it would be. In fact, one was a minlf and the other had hairy armpits and stubbly legs. To be honest, it was only the giant hangover that stopped me getting blood tests the next day.

 

On the upside, I did pork a stunning brunette at a wedding a few years later. She was right dirty minded. Like it up tge arse and souted 'spunk in my mouth' just at the right time.

 

The end.

[lifetime fan]

Get this in the Conspiracy Theories thread, quick.

Weddings... I had my first threesome as a niave 19 year old at/after a wedding. It was at a hotel, so going upstairs and fucking seemed the done thing.

Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly as nice as I thought it would be. In fact, one was a minlf and the other had hairy armpits and stubbly legs. To be honest, it was only the giant hangover that stopped me getting blood tests the next day.

On the upside, I did pork a stunning brunette at a wedding a few years later. She was right dirty minded. Like it up tge arse and souted 'spunk in my mouth' just at the right time.

The end.

Theres no such thing as a bad threesome.

[Rico1304]

we were talking to a couple on Friday and they have 11 all day weddings to attend this year. Thats got to be the best part of 3 grand in beer, hotels, presents and clothes.

 

You've got it right Col, small is beautiful.

 

[lifetime fan]

It's a cunt being from an Irish family at times.

 

No way am I going to invite a load of family I only ever see at hatches, matches and dispatches at the expense of great mates I see/speak to on a weekly basis that have helped me through some of the shittest times. Fuck off.

 

I've 7 first cousins on me mam's side and 6 on me dads. All but 3 of them are either married or in long term relationships and there's 5 kids in there too. Add in 5 step siblings with another 2 kids and youre looking at 35 people already and that's just me not even starting with Tegan.

 

So they can all come to the evening do if they like, that's an open invitation, but the day will be for us and those we want to share it with.

[lifetime fan]

we were talking to a couple on Friday and they have 11 all day weddings to attend this year. Thats got to be the best part of 3 grand in beer, hotels, presents and clothes.

You've got it right Col, small is beautiful.

 

 

Haha

 

We actually looked at that when doing the guest list.

[Champ]

we were talking to a couple on Friday and they have 11 all day weddings to attend this year. Thats got to be the best part of 3 grand in beer, hotels, presents.

One of the advantages to this stage in my life. I cant remember the last wedding I went to.

 

Haha. Typing on autopilot there. I just typed in 'weeding', which plays a far bigger role in my life and can be much more enjoyable

[Rico1304]

One of the advantages to this stage in my life. I cant remember the last wedding I went to.

Haha. Typing on autopilot there. I just typed in 'weeding', which plays a far bigger role in my life and can be much more enjoyable

You're right Cath, they are early 30's so it's prime time.

[Champ]

You're right Cath, they are early 30's so it's prime time.

*translates as, a time you wont remember, you wizened old bag*

[Rico1304]

Ha ha not at all!

[RJ Fan club]

we were talking to a couple on Friday and they have 11 all day weddings to attend this year. Thats got to be the best part of 3 grand in beer, hotels, presents and clothes.

You've got it right Col, small is beautiful.

Back in about 2008, me and the missus attended 13 in a 1 year. We also turned down half a dozen that year.

 

Fuck that was expensive and tiresome at times. Two of the weekends we attended two in a weekend. Once one Friday and a Sunday, the other one Saturday and a Monday.

 

I reckon we stayed in Southport, Buckinghamshire, Birmingham, Tunbridge Wells and the rest were in various venues around Sussex.

I actually have no idea what it cost with hotels, travel, booze, presents, shirts/dresses/suits and stag and hen dos. But probably over £10k for the pair of us.

 

The next year we did 7 or 8. Then after that it's beena steady fall down to 3 or 4, and now 1 or 2.

 

Had some great times though.

[lifetime fan]

13 in a year?

 

No one deserves that mate.

[lifetime fan]

Although we have a lad who plays the unmentionable who himself got married twice in a year. He's now engaged for a fifth time.

 

We're going to have to change his name from '4 pigs Pete' to, well you can guess, next year.

 

I've never met a bloke with worse taste in women.