What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bjornebye]

Wow yes what have you edited there? 
 

Defo something cock related, knew it 

[Stouffer]

It's not my creation unfortunately, the Mrs. saw it on Faceshite.

 

I don't buy poppers by the bottle, it's piped in from the bulk storage tank.

[Pidge]

16 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

I don't buy poppers by the bottle, it's piped in from the bulk storage tank.

Believe this arrangement is called a tactical mook.

[Mook]

Funnily enough, I was trying to imagine dipping sausages into a boiled egg whilst off my tits on poppers and it was pretty fucking good.

[Evelyn Tentions]

3 hours ago, Stouffer said:

How about this for an idea?

 

 

While I'm not against meat soldiers, you've wasted half the yolk, in my opinion the best part. I'm not a fan of egg whites. Quail eggs are dirt cheap here and have a higher yolk to white ratio than chook eggs but they're tiny fuckers, about 1/5 the size of a chook egg. One of those sausages would be as wide as the egg. Not that I can find any edible sausages here. I've got myself a sausage stuffer mincer and skins to make my own (which I've been doing for years in Aus.) but unfortunately the kitchen in my little house here isn't conducive to going full Riverside Cottage. I'd also be prepared to offer human sacrifices to get a supply of black puddings.

[Remmie]

My list of things to try dipping into a boiled egg:

 

Halloumi

Breadstick

Cheddar fingers

My penis

Quavers

Croissant

Chips

Another egg

Crumpet

 

 

[Mook]

7 hours ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

While I'm not against meat soldiers, you've wasted half the yolk, in my opinion the best part. I'm not a fan of egg whites. Quail eggs are dirt cheap here and have a higher yolk to white ratio than chook eggs but they're tiny fuckers, about 1/5 the size of a chook egg. One of those sausages would be as wide as the egg. Not that I can find any edible sausages here. I've got myself a sausage stuffer mincer and skins to make my own (which I've been doing for years in Aus.) but unfortunately the kitchen in my little house here isn't conducive to going full Riverside Cottage. I'd also be prepared to offer human sacrifices to get a supply of black puddings.

No decent sausages has just shot in at No.1 in my list of reasons never to move to Australia.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

[Bjornebye]

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Has to be tasted to be believed this.

 

Wow.

[YorkshireRed]

9 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

I’ve deduced that you are a fan of cheese. Not much escapes my attention you know. 
 

Not sure I’d have this for breakfast but if I was lost in the jungle, hadn’t eaten for days and was on deaths door I might consider it as a passable lunch. 

[Stouffer]

At least you've had the good grace to try and cover the beans with vom'.

[Chip Butty]

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

Bile on toast eh, novel play on the old french classic of bile'de'toast' ala scruffy cunt. 

[Anubis]

20 hours ago, Stouffer said:

How about this for an idea?

 

 

 

Egg is great. Scaberous zombie fingers not so much.

 

[Tony Moanero]

Is that a plate or giant ashtray?

[stringvest]

20 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

I can't see sticking your cock in eggs after dirty bum sex catching on. 

freshens it up a bit

[lifetime fan]

20 hours ago, Stouffer said:

What else are you meant to do with it?

Wipe in the curtains when she’s not looking. 
 

Why, what do you lot do? 

[Curly]

12 hours ago, Remmie said:

My list of things to try dipping into a boiled egg:

 

Halloumi

Breadstick

Cheddar fingers

My penis

Quavers

Croissant

Chips

Another egg

Crumpet

 

 

“Another egg” got me good

[Curly]

6 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

[Trumo]

11 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

 

They'll be using their Smartprice range where all the ingredients cost £1 combined.

[Trumo]

On 02/11/2021 at 12:22, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

 

True story. Terry Waite was offered something like that as his first post-freedom meal, and he immediately requested to be chained to a radiator in a Beirut ruin with a malnourished rat for company.

[Bjornebye]

40 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

Can you post the picture of your Asda brekkie mate? You appear to have posted an image of John Wayne Gacys final meal. 

[Rushies tash]

42 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

Usually in a vat of petrol, just chuck a match in 2 minutes before serving.