Coronavirus

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, Herp McDerp said:

 

Usually costs extra that. Where do i sign up?

I had a camera down my cock a few years ago, I wouldn't recommend it.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Swab up the shit pipe? It all sounds a bit Gillian McKeith, the dirty old scat fetishist. They'll have us pooing in tupperware boxes next, so they can all take a good hit off the stench to diagnose if we have shingles.

[Harry's Lad]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I had a camera down my cock a few years ago, I wouldn't recommend it.

Me too.

Horrible experience.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I had a camera down my cock a few years ago, I wouldn't recommend it.

Made a great episode of Springwatch though mate.

[Bjornebye]

I signed up to donate blood a few weeks back (They are looking for samples from people who have had it) and they've just contacted me to complete a blood sample test. They're sending the kit out. If this had happened in 2008 they would have tested it and sent a priest round. 

[Mudface]

13 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I had a camera down my cock a few years ago, I wouldn't recommend it.

Great selfie though.

[Mudface]

16 hours ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

Absolute fucking cretins. Makes me terribly sad and angry at the same time.

 

The face of self-righteous stupidity.

[ZonkoVille77]

33 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I signed up to donate blood a few weeks back (They are looking for samples from people who have had it) and they've just contacted me to complete a blood sample test. They're sending the kit out. If this had happened in 2008 they would have tested it and sent a priest round. 

 

Jesus. It will be like a scene from Flubber when they open that sample pot. 

[DJLJ]

Earlier in the pandemic they were using swabs taken at sewage plants to check the spread of corona virus in Denmark and to see how different mutations was spreading and also to see if there was areas where clusters were beginning to emerge that hadn’t been caught yet. So it is a method that has been tried and tested in other parts of the world also. 

[Bjornebye]

14 minutes ago, Mudface said:

 

The face of self-righteous stupidity.

The really positive side of lockdown is that I haven't had to have a meet one of these cunts in person because I'd take his lying jaw clean off if he started coming out with that shit in the pub. Cult of lying, selfish maniacs. Absolute fucking wankers 

[Jairzinho]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

The really positive side of lockdown is that I haven't had to have a meet one of these cunts in person because I'd take his lying jaw clean off if he started coming out with that shit in the pub. Cult of lying, selfish maniacs. Absolute fucking wankers 

Although sadly, it's considerably more dangerous these halfwits having access to the internet. It was better when they were just the pub bore/bellend.

 

[Herp McDerp]

21 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

Earlier in the pandemic they were using swabs taken at sewage plants to check the spread of corona virus in Denmark and to see how different mutations was spreading and also to see if there was areas where clusters were beginning to emerge that hadn’t been caught yet. So it is a method that has been tried and tested in other parts of the world also. 

 

Are you talking about wastewater testing? We have that down in Aus too, a bit different to having someone finger your bunghole like.

[DJLJ]

They take samples from shit in the sewage plants. They can track the virus in the shit. 

[cloggypop]

They've been doing it for a while now. 

 

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-00973-x

[Rico1304]

Bomb Squad investigating a suspicious package at the Astra Zeneca plant in Wales. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Bomb Squad investigating a suspicious package at the Astra Zeneca plant in Wales. 

Leta hope its just a stool sample 

 

Convenient timing though after another disastrous PMQs for Boris Johnson. 

[No2]

16 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Bomb Squad investigating a suspicious package at the Astra Zeneca plant in Wales. 

The EU sent that. 

[Bruce Spanner]

'

LOOKING BACK: For Playbook, these are the things that stand out over the past year as key moments in the government’s — and its scientific advisers’ — handling of the pandemic …

 

8 March 2020: Amid calls for tough measures to get the COVID-19 outbreak under control, a senior U.K. government source briefed the media that the Italian government’s lockdown approach was based on “populist, non-science based measures that aren’t any use,” adding: “They’re who not to follow” … 

11 March: Deputy Chief Medical Officer Jenny Harries insisted the U.K. government was “following the science” by not banning mass gatherings … She also said wearing a face mask is “usually quite a bad idea” and “doesn’t help” … 

13 March: SAGE gave its unanimous verdict opposing “heavy suppression” of the virus, warning it would be counter-productive and cause a second peak … It also expressed its skepticism about the merit of school closures … Chief Scientific Adviser Patrick Vallance told the BBC the government’s “aim” was to “build up some kind of herd immunity” … 

23 March: 10 days later, with the virus surging, the PM announced the first national lockdown …

26 March: Jenny Harries said testing and contact tracing was no longer an “appropriate mechanism as we go forward,” arguing that the World Health Organization’s call to “test, test, test” was aimed at less-developed nations … 

 

2 April: Rules on discharging hospital patients to care homes state that “negative tests are not required prior to transfers/admissions into the care home” … 

10 April: Health Secretary Matt Hancock backed a ramping up of testing with a target of 100,000 per day by the end of the month … 

15 April: The government announced all patients discharged from hospitals into care homes would be tested … 

28 April: SAGE advised the Home Office there was “little scientific justification for implementing any measures at the border” …

 

8 July: With infections well down in the summer, Chancellor Rishi Sunak announced his “Eat Out to Help Out” scheme encouraging Britons to flock to restaurants to help the economy bounce back … 

 

14 August: Sunak urged people to go back to offices, cafes and pubs … 

27 August: Government sources briefed the Telegraph that people should “go back to work or risk losing your job” …

21 September: As infections rose again, SAGE urged Johnson to impose a short “circuit breaker” lockdown … the PM rejected the advice, splitting from his scientific advisers for the first time … 

 

12 October: With cases still rising, Johnson implemented a new “three tier” system of restrictions, which still fell short of what his experts were calling for … 

13 October: Keir Starmer called for a circuit-breaker lockdown … 

31 October: As the virus threatened to spiral out of control, the PM imposed a four-week lockdown for the month of November, six weeks after SAGE called for the circuit-breaker.

 

2 December: Lockdown was lifted and England went into a new four-tier system of restrictions … 

16 December: Johnson insisted Christmas wouldn’t be canceled and that restrictions would be relaxed for five days over the festive period … Matt Hancock announced a new U.K. COVID variant had been discovered … 

19 December: Johnson canceled Christmas and scrapped the relaxation plan … 

22 December: SAGE advised ministers to call another lockdown … 

 

4 January 2021: 13 days later, Johnson announced a third national lockdown. 

27 January: The government is set to announce a new hotel quarantine system to toughen up the borders, nine months after border controls were rejected by SAGE.

 

Some of these things … are obviously easier to look at with the benefit of hindsight. Some may have been out of the control of any country’s politicians and public health experts. But others were decisions and choices made by ministers and scientists, about which arguments over culpability will rage for years to come.

 

LOOKING FORWARD: The Atlantic’s Tom McTague has a spot-on analysis piece that sums up much of the current thinking in government. “Everyone I spoke with noted Johnson’s extraordinary resilience and capacity to reinvent himself. Despite Britain’s disastrous coronavirus record, Johnson remains level in the polls with the Labour opposition, and an election is not due until 2024,” McTague writes. “By the summer, Britain may have a good story to tell: of a country that came together in its hour of crisis to vaccinate the elderly and the vulnerable before almost any other country, using British-made medicines, delivered by its greatest institution, the National Health Service.” This is the narrative No. 10 will try to forge over the months ahead.'

 

I can't wait for the enquiry...

[Elite]

25 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Bomb Squad investigating a suspicious package at the Astra Zeneca plant in Wales. 

What are you up to @Spy Bee?

[No2]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

 

The face of self-righteous stupidity.

What a cunt. I like the last bit, he can't be convicted because he didn't know he committed a criminal offence. Good luck with that one mate.

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, No2 said:

What a cunt. I like the last bit, he can't be convicted because he didn't know he committed a criminal offence. Good luck with that one mate.

He's the kind of loser a few covidiots on here are in bed with. They should all be booted into the fucking sea. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

 

The face of self-righteous stupidity.

 

It bothers me that people THIS stupid are too stupid to realise they are this stupid.

 

Thick fucking wanker. I don't know why I watched that. I'm genuinely angry now.

[No2]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

He's the kind of loser a few covidiots on here are in bed with. They should all be booted into the fucking sea. 

I was thinking they should give him the funds to open his own hospital on an island somewhere. Let them all in with no masks and give them fresh oranges and hot tea.

[Herp McDerp]

14 minutes ago, No2 said:

What a cunt. I like the last bit, he can't be convicted because he didn't know he committed a criminal offence. Good luck with that one mate.

 

Wait you're telling me that defense won't hold up in court if I'm allegedly caught hiding in Maya Jama's shed allegedly sniffing her undies?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 minute ago, No2 said:

I was thinking they should give him the funds to open his own hospital on an island somewhere. Let them all in with no masks and give them fresh oranges and hot tea.

 

The hospital will be built by people who've knocked together 2 IKEA bedside tables, badly