GFAT VI Grand Final: Honey Badger Vs Orangutan

[Remmie]

After a disappointing response at the beginning, GFAT VI has livened up in recent rounds, culminating in a real cult followers final. Amongst 2 of my personal favourites, no one can deny the charms and ferocity of both warriors. With 30 fallen animals in 4 rounds in what could be my penultimate organisation of the General Forum's premier tournament, I bring you:

 

Honey Badger:

 

Vs

 

Orangutan:

[Fugitive]

Fuck that big Ginger cunt. The Honey Badger is a mean motherfucker and will fuck anything up the Ginger prick was in a shit film with Clint Eastwood. It's so shit, it ruined a Clint Eastwood film.

[L19red]

I'm sticking with the Ratel. An animal should have to kill its food to win the GFAT.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Sorry Clyde, love ya man, but whereas you eat bananas, the Honey Badger is fucking bananas.

 

Ginge = FAIL

[General Dryness]

Last time. I won't do it again. I promise.

 

Badger Badger Badger.com! The Original Dancing Badgers!

[Trumo]

Mr Honey Badger sells palm oil as a sideline. After skinning orang-utans, he gives the fur coats to his missus, and is guaranteed some bitey, shouty boom boom time. Mr Honey Badger is solely responsible for the decline of palm forests globally, thanks to his lucrative hobby. He is the reason why orang-utans are on the endangered species list. Because he will fuck them up if they even try to get in the way. He deals with orang-utans taking palm oil the same way Pablo Escobar dealt with go-betweens who were on the take. In fact, Mr Honey Badger it was who killed Pablo Escobar. He let the authorities claim credit for the kill and take pictures of Escobar's withered corpse, while he stealthily moved in to take over the cartels like the mean motherfucka he is. Tony Montana would have approved of Mr Honey Badger. Chuck Norris has big respect, nay, fear, for Mr Honey Badger. Anyone or anything that attempts to get in Mr Honey Badger's way will soon be read about in obituaries and eulogies around the world. So sorry Clyde, but you're gone, unless you get the hell out of Dodge Any Which Way You Can*.

 

*You've had it, hairy ginger hombre, but it's been a good run.

[Red Phoenix]

Honey Badger is as mad as a bat and more or less fearless by the looks of it, hope he wins.

[Jose Jones]

Dream Final.

 

I'm sticking with my boy. The lazy, philosophical, swearing, ginger, four-handed badass.

[Pidge]

The only things threatened by the orangutan are other orangutans, meal worms and Julia fucking Roberts.

[The-Sir]

HONEY BADGER.

 

If honey badger wins, which it definately probably ultimately is going to do, will be justice for its cousin the regular badger, who all those years ago lost (but should have won) due to strange voting patterns which were wholly unaccountable for. GO HONEY BADGER, DO IT FOR YOUR FAMILY!

[stevebaby]

Badgey could gnaw a hole through the fabric of fucking time itself if he so desired. He'll chew through Clyde's skull at the speed of light,suck his brains out and with a casually insolent "Ptooey!" gob'em onto the ground and go on to rule the Universe forever and ever,amen.

It is written.

[aikido]

Honey Badger all the way.

 

If this hard bastard had met Jesus back in the day there'd be no Christianity.

 

Jesus would have been re-eaten on the third day.

 

Nobody rises from the dead around the Honey Badger.

[neko]

my one and only vote in the tournament goes to....

 

the honey badger, obviously.

[big red 'kok]

no where for the day walker to hide

the badger would have him in the trees, on the beaches, in the lanes and in the fields

never to be defeated

[llego]

Someone needs to step up for the orangutan here.

[TheBitch]

I almost feel sorry for the Ginger, here. Then I remember he beat the peregrine falcon in the semis and I don't feel sorry for him. He's a joke. A bumbling idiot.

 

I'll bet pidge is cradling his injured little falcon laughing his ass off as the ginge gets mauled by the psychotic badger.

 

I saw a dead badger in the road this morning as it happens, probably had a fallout with his cousin the honey badger about which is the better brandy, remy martin or martell, its remy by the way, the honey badger knows this and proceeded to throw that other badger under the next passing lorry.

[RedinSweden]

I like orangutans but that has no bearing on the outcome of this. The Honey Badger will mince it.

[GurtLush]

No contest, the big ginger twat gets it straight in the knackers from the wily Honey Badger.

[dirty_sanchez]

The Honey Badger was my suggestion and I've championed my boy all along. As The Sir says, his cousin, the normal and slightly more placid Badger was robbed last year, don't make the same mistake this year.

 

Plus Orangutans are ginger, and besides Amy Pond from Doctor Who and Christina Hendricks, most ginger things are rubbish. Look at Stu Monty for example.

 

In case you needed reminding, the Honey Badger fights lions, bees, and can even take a bite from a venomous snake and actually be dead, and then come back to life like some kind of zombie. How can you defeat something in a tournament if it can literally rise from the dead. You'd have to launch it into some kind of molten metal like the T-1000 in Terminator 2, except the Honey Badger would just treat it like a really hot bath.

 

The Honey Badger is so money right now. When you roll with The Badger, loads of girls want your tadger.

[Chairman Meow]

I've backed the Honey Badger throughout and see reason to stop supporting him now. He will make mincemeat of the ginge.

[Trumo]

This final is more one-sided than any of the earlier rounds.

[Pony Princess]

Cracking finale but only because it will be a bloodbath.

 

Honey badger would bite off your dick and bang your missus just coz he's having a shit day and needs a power trip.

 

The ginger bellend is gonna have a face like a prostitutes vagina by the time HB is finished.

 

Go 'ed lad.

[mattyq]

I was feeling sorry for the ginge but then i remembered that it's always a mistake to show weakness around these strange, genetically retarded individuals.

The orangutan to be eaten in the 2nd round after spending the first begging for mercy but the honey badger knows not the meaning of mercy.

The only thing that could have stopped it this year was the simonlfcgreen creature...but that's another story

[J-V]

Badger all the way

[RedinSweden]

I want a honey badger as a pet.